1. Clocky Clocky is one of the most irritating devices ever made, surpassing even cell phones with Ludacris ringtones. While it’s not a new gadget, it’s a sound investment for heavy sleepers. Hitting the snooze button twice cues Clocky to wheel itself off the nightstand and cruise around the bedroom floor, beeping like R2D2 on methamphetamines.

As I was picking the tomatoes out of the tomato-bean-corn-random-sauce-weird-white-vegetable-mix at the salad bar in the cafeteria, I began eavesdropping on a conversation two girls standing beside me were having. “Where were you a few minutes ago? I tried to find you for lunch,” asked one of them.

Ladies, be coquettish and coy and play hard-to-get. Men, wait three days before calling. From Sex and the City to Seinfeld to Swingers, people today are bombarded by rules as to what to do, how to do it, and when to do it when it comes to dating, that game we all love to hate.

After having spent three hours helping me unpack my belongings into my new room in Molson Hall, my mother entered and immediately left the washroom, upon spotting the young man at the urinal. She refused to go back to the bathroom while there was someone of the opposite sex in there with her.

Too shy to talk to that hottie in Poli Sci? Curious about the exciting world of anal beads? Need a course that won’t bring your GPA down two points? And, while we’re at it, who was the handsome stranger at the bar and what’s his story? Fret not my wretched friend, for the creators of McGillGossip.

Currently, there is a demand for McGill grads from companies in financial market hotspots overseas, and the McGill Financial Ambassadors (MFA) have answered. Clovis Couasnon, U3 finance and mathematics, and Amine Larhrib, U3 finance and accounting, co-founders of the MFA, started the club as a way through which students could make contacts to ensure future job opportunities.

With all the lonely hearts grumbling about the impending onslaught of sickly sweet Valentine’s schmaltz, ponder this: is romance dead? Before the Valentine’s Grinch that dwells in the recesses of your soul comes out and grabs the nearest bottle of liquor, rest assured that you’re not alone; the dating situation at McGill is more dire than delicious for many…

Breakfast True espresso aficionados should head to Caffe in Gamba in the Plateau. Combined with plush seating and decadent pastries, their freshly brewed espresso drinks are the best in Montreal. Eggspectation and Chez Cora – both Canadian chains – offer crepes, pancakes, and waffles piled high with fruit for reasonable prices.