INT. LIVING ROOM — EVENING
TJ's parents are chatting on the sofa. He stands in front of them. They stop talking to look at him.
TJ
(wipes the sweat off his hands)
Mom, Dad… I have something to tell you.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
But wait… haven't we seen this before?
For some, coming out is an integral part of their queer journey, but to others, it is a casual statement about one aspect of their lives.The queer community encompasses a wide range of lived experiences. Yet, films and television often rely on a familiar pattern: Framing a queer character's narrative around coming out, positioning it as the climax of their journey. While coming-out narratives provide essential representation for the queer community, they can also narrow the scope of what the queer experience is allowed to look like.
A history of queer representation in film
From 1934 to 1968, the Hays Code required Hollywood movies to depict homosexuality negatively, forcing filmmakers to vilify or queercode queer characters. During the Gay Liberation Movement of the '60s, '70s, and '80s, activists urged people to "Come Out, Come Out, wherever you are," and increased queer representation in television followed suit. Still, many stories treated queerness as a defect. An episode of the medical drama The Eleventh Hour, released in 1963, attributed Hallie Lambert's (Kathryn Hays) lesbian identity to her overbearing mother, reinforcing the idea that queerness stems from familial failure. In response, advocacy groups such as the Gay Media Task Force, the National Gay Task Force, and the Gay Activists Alliance held protests against these offensive representations. Their pressure pushed television producers to reconsider how they represented queerness on screen. Thus, in '70s sitcoms, a side character's coming out became a plot device for cisgender, straight leads to confront their own views on homosexuality. However, television shifted from this structure after Ellen DeGeneres' trailblazing performance as the show's lead Ellen Morgan on Ellen in 1998. Her appearance as a beloved lesbian character marked a shift toward the implementation of recurring mainstream queer characters. Since its formation in 2005, GLAAD, formerly the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, has tracked queer representation in media and publishes a report each year analyzing queer representation on broadcast television. According to GLAAD, 2SLGBTQIA+ characters in broadcast series today make up 9.3 per cent of all leads. While queer representation has moved far beyond early vilification, the continued focus on coming-out narratives in media reveals that queer media still needs to represent a diversity of stories for queerness to be widely normalized.
*Dramatic pause* …I'm gay
Despite the increased positive representation of queerness, not everyone relates to the coming-out narrative. Movies like Love, Simon, released in 2018 Happiest Season, released in 2020, and shows like Heartstopper, released in 2022, Heated Rivalry, released in 2025, and One Day At A Time, released in 2017, feature lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) characters who reach an emotional climax when they come out. These narratives stem from decades of underrepresentation, but a focus on these plots may amplify grand emotional scenes, which unintentionally push aside other queer experiences.
Al Dervisevic, U4 Arts and Resource Coordinator for Queer McGill, discussed his own experiences watching coming-out scenes in an interview with The Tribune.
"I'm sure there are queer people who have had these big sit-down moments with their loved ones, but it's not something I've ever felt represented by. It's not always this narratively satisfying moment," Dervisevic said. "When we're talking about normalizing queerness, taking it to be just a part of people's lives, which it is, these grand scenes of coming out confessions are probably detracting from that."
This type of narrative, similar to '70s sitcom representation, also centres the queer character's relationship with the straight people in their lives. Coming-out narratives are not just about how a queer character feels about their identity, but also about how they expect straight characters to react to hearing about it. It portrays a character's queerness as the relationship between their identity and the heteronormative expectation to reveal it.
"The queer narrative becomes a part of straight people's narratives too, because suddenly they have a role to play," Dervisvic explained.
This feeds into an underlying problem of many coming-out narratives: They are actually outings. Characters are placed under an external pressure to come out, which forces them to reveal their sexuality.
Mae Johnson, U3 Science, touched on the theme of outings in film in an interview with The Tribune.
"Many LGBTQ+ stories feature characters who don't get to come out on their own terms, and while this is unfortunately the reality for some people, it's sad when it seems to be one of the most common coming-out tropes," Johnson said.
In Love, Simon, Simon Spier (Nick Robinson) is blackmailed by his classmate, who uses evidence of Simon's closeted queerness as a bargaining chip. He is eventually outed at school. In a situation with enough circumstantial pressure to come out, the moment can seem as forced as an outing. In season 5, episode 7 of Stranger Things, Will Byers (Noah Schnapp) feels anxious that the resident villain with a world-demolishing agenda, Vecna, will target his sexuality unless he comes out publicly. While the expressed support from his friends and family serves as a cathartic moment for Will, the decision to tell his friends was Hobson's choice—he would rather come out than risk their deaths. Other outings with similar conditions can be found in Heated Rivalry, Young Royals, and Red, White, and Royal Blue. While these portrayals represent a traumatic reality for many queer people, presenting an outing as a coming out reframes the conflict between heteronormative expectations and a queer person's internal desires as a simple act of 'bravery,' rather than as a constrained or coerced response.
"These stories allow characters to show strength, resilience, and claim their identity in the face of scrutiny," Johnson said. "However, I think that featuring queer characters coming out on their own terms is as important, though less seen."
She also wonders if a pattern of coming-out narratives creates a perceived pressure to come out in real life.
"I think it's important to validate the idea that coming out is not what makes your queer identity real. If you're not ready, or not in a safe space to make that happen, you don't have to," Johnson said.
These sentiments suggest that the coming-out narrative is itself a staple of queer media, yet simultaneously a source of frustration for many queer people.
Who's missing from the narrative?
Coming out narratives also underrepresent the stories of transgender people, racialized people, and queer elders. A study that analyzed the top 10 coming-out films recommended by IMDb found that while there are many interpretations of characters' reactions to coming out, there is little diversity in race, gender, or the sexual orientation of the characters themselves.
Val Muñoz, the Administrative Coordinator for Queer McGill, expressed that they would like to see more representation of queer stories from Central and South America, where queerness in many countries is persecuted.
"I would want to see their stories highlighted and their community, and the fight that they have in their home countries," they said in an interview with The Tribune.
The genre conventions of coming-out narratives further narrow representation. These stories most often appear in teen romantic comedies or sitcoms, leaving little room for queer elders. This framing perpetuates the idea that queerness is a phenomenon within a younger generation, despite the reality that 2SLGBTQIA+ people have always existed.
"These coming-out narratives are always in YA [young adult] or teen romance. But what about the people who weren't able to come out until they were much older?" Muñoz said. "Even now, with social spaces in Montreal, it's always catered to under-25s. We're missing a whole generation of our queer ancestors who paved the path before us. It would be really nice to see and hear these people's stories."
This absence highlights the wider lack of representation for transgender and characters of colour. In their 2024-2025 report, GLAAD found that of the 489 queer characters last year, 86.5 per cent were LGB, while there were only 33 transgender characters. They also reported that 51 per cent of characters were of colour. While this may seem balanced on paper, this does not necessarily translate into equitable representation on screen, nor does it address whether these characters occupy leading roles or are portrayed beyond stereotypes.
"We all have different experiences coming out, and I think it's important to see that reflected in how we tell [these] stories," Johnson said.
Beyond coming out
Media representation can have tangible effects on youth mental health and well-being. In a study which surveyed adolescents across the country, Bradley Bond, a Communications professor at the University of San Diego, found that more queer media exposure correlated with feeling less sad, dejected, and depressed. He theorized that positive depictions of 2SLGBTQIA+ characters could decrease suicidal feelings within queer youth. LGB youth are nearly five times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (CDC). Considering the high rate of depression and suicide among queer youth, accurate and inclusive portrayals of queer characters take on a new importance. Positive portrayals of queer characters in film and television could significantly affect not only the general public but our community itself.
Within this context, the rom-com convention offers a unique opportunity to portray a healthy coming out and a happy ending. It can model what an appropriate acceptance looks like for friends and family. When shows and films follow the character's emotional journey, the viewer is privy to thoughts and feelings about how their identity fits within their world. This fosters empathy and understanding for the character, which transfers to queer people in real life.
Ana Gomez, U3 Arts, voiced her feelings about watching coming-out scenes in an interview with The Tribune.
"While I can't relate, I have a lot of friends who are queer, so I feel a lot of empathy and admiration for my friends. I also just get very emotional for them, especially if it's something that they have thought about for a while, and that they feel vulnerable and comfortable sharing with me."
It can also depict the experience of stepping into the queer community as a teen and what community support should resemble. Heartstopper, for example, features an ensemble of queer characters, most of whom help other characters fall in love, come out, or transition.
"I love watching characters being able to live more authentically, and these stories are in many ways what encouraged me to come out as a teenager," Johnson said. "I also think it is important to discuss the nuances around this experience and not pigeonhole what coming out looks like."
Ultimately, queerness is not dependent on coming out, nor is it a precursor to being a part of the queer community. With the improvement of queer representation in television, producers may move away from outing plots and include more transgender characters, characters of colour, and queer elders. They should also acknowledge that a character does not need a public declaration for their queerness to be real. For viewers within our community, we should continue to ask ourselves how particular depictions of coming out contribute to expectations and stereotypes for our community.
TJ looks down and hides his sweaty hands behind his back.
NARRATOR (V.O.) — CONTINUED
Do you see that? Are you going to ask, "Haven't we seen this before?"