The Tribune

A few years past, one’s command of the French language had to be fairly deft to survive in Quebec for very long. McGill students, for the first weeks after arriving in Montreal, would need to assiduously commit dozens of key phrases to memory in order to obtain everyday household items, from milk to light bulbs.

I have a dirty little secret: I’ve never been to a frosh event. I’ve also never attended a McGill sports game, joined a club or even been inside a university rez. No, I’m not a hermit, or even anti-social. I’m a Montrealer. One of those cool but elusive people you meet in one of your classes then never seem to encounter again.

For stick-thin health conscious fellows, poutine is venom on a plate. However, to every other “normal” person in Canada, it is simply a mountain of fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. Poutine may be a Quebec delicacy and extremely delicious, but unfortunately, the fries-cheese-gravy aspect of poutine makes it an artery-clogging snack.

In an utterly charming, sultry voice, Mademoiselle Oui Oui Encore explains that burlesque “is not about sex; it is about seduction, and most of all, confidence in yourself.”  Blue Light Burlesque is the only troupe of its kind in Quebec, and this Thursday night over a dozen performers will be stripping down and heating up La Tulipe in a show entitled “Place Your Bets! Hot Las Vegas Nights.

Île de la Reunion! If you have any clue as to the whereabouts of this obscure island, then you are probably a Geography major because it seems only a handful of people in this city have even heard of it. J. Pierre Charpentier, the manager of Le Piton de Fournaise, decided that he was sick of the Montreal cold and went abroad and spent six years on this minute southern African island located in the Indian ocean off the east coast of Madagascar.

Not many professors would start their 10 a.m. class with an Eminem song blaring over the sound system as their half-awake students stumble into the room. Then again, not many professors are like Catherine Lu, who currently teaches Western Political Thought on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays in the Adams auditorium The political science department has more than twice as many men as women professors.

Lee Bienstock, runner-up on the hit reality series, The Apprentice, talks about New York, the corporate lifestyle and hanging out with Donald Trump. Speaking at the Hillel House, the recent college grad and high-profile business guru tells McGill students about his rise to the top of the Trump Towers.

Generally speaking, the average student goes to the bathroom with one or two specific goals in mind; one of which is not to select a new social action group to join. Or is it? Washroom stalls across campus are becoming increasingly more cluttered with advertisements ranging from club meetings to Vonage telephone service.