A couple of weeks ago, Justin Trudeau was seen with American pop star Katy Perry outside a famed Paris cabaret for the latter’s 41st birthday, apparently keeping in line with his father’s own escapades—dating an American singer. The shocking union between the American musician and the former Canadian prime minister appears amid heightened tensions between the two North American nations, tying them together in a way politics cannot. In a world where cultural unity provides much-needed camaraderie between nations, The Tribune is doing its part to repair Canada-U.S. relations by shipping celebrities from both countries.
Sophie Grégoire and Tom Cruise
Trudeau’s ex-wife Sophie Grégoire would have been magnificently paired with Perry’s own ex, Orlando Bloom. Unfortunately, he’s English, so infamous Scientologist Tom Cruise will have to do. This unlikely coupling represents a union of distinct Canadian and American traditions: Grégoire, a daughter of Quebec and former member of the Trudeau family, and Cruise, the poster boy of Hollywood stardom and the embodiment of America’s zealous religiosity.
Cruise, skilled as many celebrities are in the art of relationship-jumping, would almost certainly be a great help to Grégoire in the transition from her first marriage to a new relationship. While the former First Lady of Canada might not vibe with the ‘Maverick,’ one could almost see these two setting aside their long-held beliefs and living a cozy life where their children explore their own religious paths.
Pamela Anderson and Anthony Ramos
Pamela Anderson, actress, model, and woman of many public relationships, meets Anthony Ramos, former fiancé of Hamilton co-star Jasmine Cephas-Jones and alleged cheater. Just as Ramos danced his way into the life of Alexander Hamilton, he might find himself in the heights of Anderson’s love. The actress has seen her fair share of less-than-ideal lovers, yet perhaps she might find something in the protégé of Lin-Manuel Miranda. Maybe, just maybe, Ramos can actually get married this time. Or maybe not.
Drake and Caitlin Clark
Pairing an athlete who can’t stop winning with a rapper who can’t stop losing might seem odd—but it works. Caitlin Clark, who recently shot to fame in the Women’s National Basketball Association, would not be the first athlete Drake has dated, with rumours circulating in the early 2010s of a romance with tennis champion Serena Williams. Drake, who has a son with French artist Sophie Brussaux, is due for another relationship, and what better way to mend his image than to court Caitlin Clark? Worst-case scenario, if the romance ends badly, we’ll at least get a new Drake album out of it.
If ever these potential lovebirds cross borders to hold each other in their arms, we should absolutely pay attention.
Shawn Mendes and Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian is no stranger to relationships with singers, having recently divorced from the musician Kanye West. Shawn Mendes, for his part, has also had a noteworthy dating life, most recently dating Sabrina Carpenter and Camila Cabello. This pairing would unite two icons of celebrity dating culture, guiding the popstar from the complicated Cabello-Carpenter love triangle into the arms of a Kardashian.
If Mendes is drawn to the Kardashian light, he should take note of his lover’s four children from her previous marriage—North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm—who will certainly add liveliness to their household. Although Mendes does not have any kids of his own, his experience caring for his and Cabello’s golden retriever Tarzan will certainly help him navigate his new parental role.
In the spirit of Justin Perry, or perhaps Katy Trudeau, these ships can bring Americans and Canadians together to celebrate cultural unity in a time of division. While some of these celebrities might not actually get together in real life, magnificent unions like these can bring joy to both nations, tearing down the walls of politics through fits of laughter.
