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Arts & Entertainment, Theatre

Women do it solo in The Vagina Monologues

Seeing The Vagina Monologues can be a bit intimidating – but it’s precisely that hesitation that the show is trying to counteract. The Monologues was created as an attempt to reclaim female sexuality by making “vagina” – both the word and the body part – less taboo. Writer Eve Ensler wanted people to see Monologues and say to themselves, “I didn’t know we could talk about this. I guess we can.”

This year, director Jessica Kostuck selected eight actresses from the 75 girls who auditioned to perform the monologues. With each new monologue, we witness the actresses transition into different roles. Each story sounds genuine, as if the actresses had experienced them personally, and each brings something unique to the table.

The monologues cover a range of topics that are positive, negative, and just plain funny. The most memorable monologue is one in which a woman tries to convince the audience that the word “cunt” shouldn’t be a term that people are ashamed to use. She exemplifies this point by turning the monologue into an interactive stomping-and-clapping-filled sing-a-long of “We Will Rock You,” in which the words of the chorus are replaced with repeated cheers of “cunt!” Another standout monologue is the one told by a dominatrix sex worker (played by Emily Murphy) who strives to pleasure women. Her monologue ends with a bang as she imitates all the women she has slept with, giving a firsthand report of their different moans. When asked after the show where she practiced her plethora of moans, Murphy’s answer was short and sweet: “My floor-mates put up with a lot.”

While the Monologues was initially created to simply “celebrate the vagina,” it has since changed to a movement to stop violence and injustice against women. The Monologues served as an inspiration to found V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women. However, this seems to detract from the original motive of the Monologues. The play is helpful in spreading awareness surrounding violence towards women, but I think the Monologues would be more enjoyable if they stuck to stories which, as advertised, “celebrate the vagina.” Instead, the play sometimes comes across as preachy – condemning men and heterosexual relationships through the negative portrayal of male roles greatly outnumbering the positive ones in the script. This makes the play less appealing to men, limiting the audience that the play’s original message of female sexual empowerment can reach. Nonetheless, the monologues concerning sexual violence and abuse are still very powerful. The final monologue is told from the point of view of a girl who was abducted and forced to work as a sex slave for over two years, eventually escaping with her new child. This monologue ends the play with the effective line meant to be imprinted in every woman’s brain: “No one can take anything from you if you don’t give it to them.”

The advertisements for The Vagina Monologues guarantee that no one will ever look at a woman’s body, or think of sex, in quite the same way again. In my opinion, the Monologues didn’t resonate quite as strongly as the tagline suggests. It was definitely engaging, funny at times, and included a nice variety of stories that showed off the actresses’ talent. However, I would not go so far as to say it completely changed my perspective on sexuality. That being said, it was very entertaining and it is something that both women and men should experience seeing.

The Vagina Monologues run Friday February 5 to Sunday February 7 in Leacock 132. Shows start at 8 p.m. and tickets are $12 for students.

Arts & Entertainment, Film and TV

Do as the Romans do and stay away from When in Rome

Having endured recent atrocities committed in the rom-com genre (The Proposal, Leap Year) audiences deserve a watchable flick. Unfortunately, When In Rome – which opened in theatres on Friday – is another dreadful dud. Anyone who has seen the trailer or gaudy bumblebee-yellow movie poster already predicted this, but for the well-being of everyone else, it’s worth restating.

The plot revolves around Beth (Kristen Bell), a curator at the Guggenheim who is both beautiful and an independent career woman – the genre’s favourite version of feminism. Fed up with her busy yet man-free life, Beth travels to her sister’s wedding in Rome with her own agenda to find love. Apparently this twenty-something bombshell, with a job that treats PhDs like high school diplomas, can’t land a man … right!

On the wedding night, feeling single and sorry for herself, Beth downs a bottle of wine and spitefully snatches five coins from “The Fountain of Love.” Strange magical powers then make the original coin owners instantly fall in love with her. Beth’s suitors include a sausage salesman (Danny DeVito), a street magician (Jon Heder), a male model (Dax Shepard), and an Italian painter (Will Arnett). Then there’s Nick (Josh Duhamel), an ultra-hunk sports reporter with whom Beth feels a genuine connection. But is he just under the spell of the fountain or could he truly love her?

When in Rome attempts to mask its dismal script by bombarding its audience with excessive cameos. Anjelica Huston, Kristen Schaal, Kate Micucci, Alexis Dziena, Efren Ramirez, and Shaquille O’Neil are meaninglessly injected into the film at unexpected moments and then disappear with no further mention. Shaq, for example, shows up at a party, gets mad at Nick for spelling his name wrong, and then disappears, all in under 10 seconds. The film doesn’t even try to tap into the talent of its many hilarious actors, and instead produces unmemorable characters (I have never seen more wasteful use of Angelica Huston or Will Arnett), lifeless jokes, and a sorry excuse for romance.

Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel could have been great in a different romantic comedy, but unfortunately they got stuck with this one. Any chemistry between these two is crushed by their preposterous lines: “I never want to see you in pain,” “I got hit by lightning,” and “You don’t love me, you’re just under a spell” come to mind as particular buzz-killers.

When in Rome is not worth the admission fee, nor the 90 minutes of your life. Instead watch Roman Holiday, the 1953 William Wyler film starring the oh-so-endearing Audrey Hepburn and swoon-worthy Gregory Peck. It will remind you that romantic comedies can be lovely.

 

Arts & Entertainment, Music

CD REVIEWS: Joey Stylez: The Blackstar

The question of whether music can ever be objectively good or bad has plagued musicians and critics alike for decades. Joey Stylez’s debut album, The Blackstar, has finally answered it. His music is absolutely the worst combination of sound I’ve ever heard, and for me, he’s redefined the concept of bad music. The screeching of his voice combined with his attempts to combine electro and alternative make his songs both painful and headache-inducing.

Listening to his tracks is an excellent way to feel your own brain cells dying rapidly. Highlights of the under-worked album include rhyming words with themselves and using grunts to stay on beat, such as in the chorus of the song “Sugar Cane,” which goes, “She’s comin’ home with me / she’s all alone with me uh huh.” Most unnerving are Stylez’s lyrics, as they lack the wit to legitimize their offensive nature. Beyond being underdeveloped, most are simply nonsensical. For instance, in “Gorgeous Gangster,” Stylez sings, “Drugs in my pocket / money in my pocket / she gets me high call her bottle rocket / kitty go purr / staring in the mirror cause’ I’m feelin’ myself.” Stunning lyrics like these superimposed over poorly-constructed songs make this album a disgrace to the music industry.

With a last name including “style” in it, you might expect Stylez to have some of it himself. Instead, his album features enough atrocious hip-hop, rap, alternative and pop to piss off fans of each of these genres.

Arts & Entertainment, Theatre

The Rake’s Progress shows no sympathy for the devil

Opera McGill’s production of Igor Stravinsky’s The Rake’s Progress, an opera based on a series of 18th century satirical etchings by William Hogarth, combined intricate costumes and sets with raw musical talent – and the result was enough to convert any doubting opera-goer into a full-fledged fan.

Directed by David Lefkowich, the opera depicted young Tom Rakewell’s descent from shallowness and recklessness to despair and corruption when he unknowingly befriends the devil. In the beginning, Rakewell (played by Frank Mutya) was a daydreamer smitten with Anne Trulove (Véronique Coutu). The two seemed hopelessly in love, but were weighed down by Trulove’s father’s disapproval of Rakewell’s laziness. The arrival of stranger Nick Shadow (Philippe Sly) spun the story in a new direction when he unexpectedly informed Rakewell of his recent inheritance and suggested a trip to London to claim it. As the lovers parted ways, Shadow led Rakewell into an adventurous life of brothels, squandering money, and discovering the tragic neglect of true love.

Stravinsky is known for paying tribute to musical masterminds like Bach and Tchaikovsky, and in The Rake’s Progress he paid particular homage to Mozart. The acclaimed conductor and composer Julian Wachner brought his international experience to the theatre as the Principal Conductor of Opera McGill, and led the McGill Symphony Orchestra in a performance that paralleled the rising and falling action of the story, underscoring moments of both comedy and tragedy with music.

While the opera’s first few scenes were meant to contain little action, the lack of energy distanced the audience from the story, making it difficult to lose yourself in the experience. Fortunately, the energy level increased as the show went on, engaging the audience more and more with each scene.

Sly stole the show with an outstanding performance in his portrayal of Shadow, who leads Rakewell through his heroic downfall. Shadow acted as a puppet master, constantly convincing Tom to plunge deeper into immoral descent. A standout scene in act two involved Shadow toying with Rakewell’s opportunity for freedom in the song “Never Was I Saner,” to which both the audience and Tom fell victim. Coutu captured Trulove’s innocence and virtue in song, with her beautiful rendition of “No Word From Tom,” one of the opera’s famous solos.

The extent of Shadow’s influence over Rakewell was portrayed through the two character’s duets, the most impressive being the scene when Shadow convinced Rakewell to wager his soul in a game of cards. The stunning final scene featured chorus members dressed as psychiatric patients, with eerie lighting and disturbing choreography. The dark story had a hint of optimism – that beauty lies in the final realization of what truly matters, regardless of how long it takes to get there.

Overall it was a combination of musical talent and staged ability that, regardless of the extent of your previous opera experience, could not go unappreciated. Although there were occasional moments of voice clash – detectable during songs in which the lead vocalists were set to harmonize in unison – leaving some drowned out by others in both sound and articulation, overall there were few weaknesses in the vocal performances. The performance made tasteful use of humour and wit through costume design and choreographic accents, best seen in the entertaining brothel scene. The costumes were intricate and beautiful, while the characters came alive through the collective group dynamics of back and forth momentum. The clever integration of set mobility and adaptions of a variety of basic backgrounds provided a feeling of progression from one scene to the next. Precise lighting techniques are exemplified in scenes like the eerie depiction of the psychiatric hospital, making use of back lighting and revealing silhouettes of fidgety patients to perfect the mood.

Stravinsky created a graphic tale of morality, with delightful comedic relief and tragedy set in parallel from start to finish, and the Opera McGill production held true to his vision.

 

Arts & Entertainment

POP RHETORIC: Fist-pumping iQs away

A phenomenon has appeared in the media, spreading from the shores of Seaside Heights, encroaching slowly upon our values, sneaking into our living rooms as we turn on the TV, and preparing to quietly kill us in our sleep. It is MTV’s new hit reality series Jersey Shore. From absurd counterintuitive statements of fashion, lifestyle, and society to portrayals of ethnic stereotypes, gender discrimination, and fist-pumping idiots, The Shore has somehow managed to grab everyone’s attention. In the span of mere weeks, viewership skyrocketed, breaking 4.8 million for the show’s finale and topping any previous viewership for an MTV reality show.

The issue is not what has become of MTV – the standards of any network that gave the world The Real World and Teen Mom are questionable. The issue is, what has become of the viewers who have taken this show under their wing and turned it into a part of their daily lives?

I don’t watch Jersey Shore. After mere minutes of watching it, I refused to subject myself to any more mind-numbing stupidity – and unlike multitudes of closet viewers, I’ve stuck to my word. Regardless of how hysterical the show’s ideologies may be (truthfully I find them pathetic), I was unable to find humour in that twisted world. Our ability to find Jersey Shore remotely entertaining just emphasizes that we all have way too much time on our hands.

Reality show viewing usually begins with word-of-mouth, and because so-and-so said something is decent, we suddenly must tune in if we want to take part in tomorrow’s conversation. When it comes to Jersey Shore, I can only assume that the enjoyment viewers are getting from watching it only comes from its role as a gossip topic. All I hear are people at the library talking about Snooki, and laughing when anybody uses the word “situation” in a sentence. We young impressionable intellects would still have things to talk about without these shows, but somehow Jersey Shore has taken over daily life. People don’t seem to realize that there are enough relatable real-world events to talk about without having to spin the convesation towards trashy TV.

It was only a matter of time before the on-screen Jersey drama filtered into people’s reference frames. Theme parties parodying the beloved Guidos and Guidettes are everywhere – never mind that parodying these characters is mostly composed of wearing revealing clothing and getting very drunk, very fast – which often isn’t far off from many people’s average Friday night. Catch phrases from the show almost immediately become common slang, meant to mock the idiocy of the characters but merely making the users sound dumb.

Why have we all become so obsessed with fake reality and fame? With so much dwelling on the absurdity of the show itself, people have forgotten the utter embarrassment that lies in simply watching it. Maybe it’s not what’s wrong with Jersey Shore after all; maybe the problem lies in what we have come to accept as decent entertainment for a lack of anything else better to do.

So let’s put away the bottles of gel, wipe off those fake tans, and crawl back into the “real world.” Because as much as it hurts to see these crazy people adored on TV for their sheer ignorance, MTV will continue to make shows like this as long as we continue to sit in front of a screen encouraging them. Regardless of how fake or real “reality TV” has become, it’s disturbing how it’s become a part of our culture and our daily lives. I’m okay with skipping the latest slow-mo replay of some girl getting punched at a seedy bar, and a week from now everyone else will be too. It’s only a matter of time before the next overnight success reflects a new set of praised mannerisms and gimmicks, so next time, let’s be a little more careful who we give this power to. I don’t want the gym, tanning, and laundry to take over my life anymore than they already have.

– Bianca Van BavelA&E Contributor

Editorial, Opinion

Common sense lacking in feud over MBA tuition hike

The latest round in the McGill administration’s ongoing feud with the Quebec government is much the same as the last. Predictable cries of “accessibility” are again pitted against claims of underfunding, as the sides face-off over a proposed tuition increase for McGill Master of Business Administration students. Suffice it to say, it’s starting to get old.

Early this year, McGill announced that the MBA program in the Desautels Faculty of Management would switch to a “self-funded model” beginning in Fall 2010. The move will see the faculty forgo funding from the Quebec government and cover costs by raising tuition rates to $29,500 per year for the two-year program. The increase in tuition will affect all students. Currently, Quebec students pay an average of $1,672.80 per year, while other Canadian students pay $4,675.68, and international students pay $19,890.

The 17-fold increase for Quebec students is admittedly gaudy, but those that oppose it on the basis of “accountability” are lacking common sense. The McGill administration claims that an MBA costs the school about $22,000 per student per year, which amounts to an annual shortfall of $10,000 per student after tuition and subsidies from the Quebec government are collected. It’s unfair to expect other students – like us – to make up that $10,000 when the average MBA student is 28 years old, works in private industry, and commands an average annual salary of $80,000 upon graduation.

Those who are outraged ignore the abscence of a convincing link between lower tuition and greater accessibility. They ignore the opinion of McGill’s MBA Students’ Association, who wrote in an email to the Tribune that they “support the change as being in the best long-term interest of the program.” And they ignore that the new tuition rate would be comparable to, or cheaper than, most top MBA programs in Canada.

While we acknowledge that this move sets a precedent for other dramatic tuition increases, the Tribune does not believe the MBA program can be accurately compared to the research faculties. An MBA is an investment that allows most businessmen to double their salaries – a benefit commensurate with the increased tuition. In a perfect world, a tuition hike wouldn’t be necessary. But if Quebec is unwilling to pay for the $10,000 shortfall, it’s time that they stopped opposing McGill’s real-world solution.

Editorial, Opinion

A small step towards reducing doctor shortages

In a province with a severe physician shortage, it is somewhat surprising that only 35 per cent of foreign-trained doctors who pass the exams required to practice medicine in Quebec are granted residency positions.

Last week, however, Quebec Health Minister Yves Bolduc took an important step in addressing this issue when he announced that the province will reserve 65 residency spots per year for foreign-trained doctors. A successful residency in a Canadian hospital is a requirement for foreign doctors to receive a license to practice medicine in this country, yet 94 residency positions in Quebec were left vacant last year. The province also announced that they will fund a six-month retraining program in basic medicine for those whose residency applications are unsuccessful.

While we acknowledge that these changes will not resolve Quebec’s physician shortages entirely, any effort that can help the many people living in Quebec who hold medical degrees to begin practicing is a welcome one. With thousands of Quebecers lacking a primary care physician, it makes no sense that so many residency positions were left vacant last year – especially when foreign doctors who have passed the required exams are available to fill these positions. Ontario, for example, accepted more than three times as many foreign graduates into residency programs last year than Quebec.

The issue is likely to become even more acute in the near future, especially if the current trend of Canadian students attending offshore medical schools continues. The Canadian Medical Association estimated in 2007 that there were 1,500 of these students. Those who wish to return to Canada to practice medicine will face the same process that has currently left 300 foreign-trained physicians in Quebec unable to find jobs.

The Canada Health Act, which forms the basis of the country’s health care system, includes equal access to medical care as one of its main principles. While the provincial government’s recent announcements are an important but relatively inexpensive step in addressing the issue, making equal access a reality for Quebec residents who lack a family physician will take much more than 65 new foreign-trained doctors.

Student Life

Explore the Internet freely

Last week, Google was the victim of intellectual property theft at the hands of a group of sophisticated Chinese hackers. It is unclear who was responsible for the malicious attack, but Google is now considering exiting the Chinese market. Following the attack, the governments of Germany and France issued warnings to citizens to stop using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer web browser. The notice was issued because the attack on Google was a result of a bug in Internet Explorer. This is not the first major security flaw discovered in Internet Explorer’s code, and it probably won’t be the last. In addition to its security flaws, Internet Explorer has several other shortcomings that make it one of the worst browsers available.

Internet Explorer currently has the largest user base of any Internet browser. This is in part because it ships pre-installed with any Windows operating system, which controls about 90 per cent of the home computer market. Many less-advanced computer users – like former senator Ted Stevens, who claimed the Internet is a series of tubes – view Internet Explorer as the only way to access the Internet. Like all browsers, Explorer is only responsible for translating your requests into computer-level requests, and translating the Internet sites into something you can read.

Alternative browsers have different abilities. Two main concerns are rendering (how accurately a browser displays what it is sent) and speed. The ACID3 test is a check of the browser’s rendering of document object models and JavaScript (two key components of website representation). While most browsers achieve a perfect 100/100 on the test, Internet Explorer scored only 21/100. Opera Mobile, the browser used on most smart phones, achieves a 98/100. Speed is also important for many people, and Internet Explorer 6 is significantly slower than most browsers available, while IE 8 does not fare much better. These results are surprising, considering about 60 per cent of Internet users are browsing on Internet Explorer.

The browser you use is your choice, but I would suggest thst you do a bit of research before deciding to make the switch.

Firefox: Firefox is best known for extensive add-ons to let you do just about anything inside of your web browser, such as incorporate social networking directly into the browser and automate downloading tasks. Firefox was the first major web browser to feature tabbed browsing, as seen in any browser today. Firefox currently has a 25 per cent market share.

Chrome: Chrome is blazing fast, due to custom JavaScript handling and document object model bindings (which provide the transition from web content to computer display), and DNS pre-resolution (when you load a website, Chrome starts figuring out where all the links go before you click on them, while other browsers wait until you click a link to determine the appropriate address). The downside is that it has very few add-ons and extensions. About five per cent of people on the web are using Chrome. The German government warned its citizens against Chrome as well as Internet Explorer because Google collects usage data from Chrome’s users during browsing. While there is no evidence to suggest Google uses this data in any adverse way, its purpose is still unclear.

Safari: Apple’s web browser ships with all Mac computers, and was ported to Windows in 2007. Like most Apple products, it focussed more on the user interface and good looks rather than strong performance. Nonetheless, it is a strong browser, and easily passes ACID3.

Opera: Opera is a very feature-rich browser, supporting chat and email clients, mouse gestures, themes, speed dial, notes, and turbo, to name a few. While Opera’s mobile distribution is the most popular on smart phones, its desktop variant only has about one per cent market share.

Konqueror: Konqueror is one of Linux’s main browsers. Konqueror is fairly quick and it doubles as a fairly good file manager, similar to Windows Explorer.

Sports

SPORTS IN BRIEF: Redmen vanquish Lakers, reclaiming first place in OUA East

The McGill men’s hockey team scored four special-team markers on Sunday in a 5-3 win over Nipissing University at McConnell Arena.

The result snapped the Redmen’s two-game win streak and improved their record to 17-4-0, reclaiming first place in the OUA East, one point ahead of idle UQTR (16-3-1).

McGill freshman Christophe Longpre-Poirier of Longueuil, QC, scored the Redmen’s first goal, netting his fifth of the season – a shorthanded effort at 19:10 of the first period. It was the third time in OUA play that Longpre-Poirier had scored while killing off a penalty.

The Redmen penalty-killing unit registered a clean slate, erasing all six Lakers’ power play chances. McGill has snuffed out 110 of 124 shorthanded situations in regular-season play this season.

McGill now embarks on a four-game road trip, with games at Carleton, Concordia, and Ottawa.

Sports

Where do sports come from? McGill University, it seems

In a little less than two weeks from now, football fans around the world will be glued to their television sets as Superbowl XLIV kicks off in south Florida. Before the football hangover has time to wear off completely, we’ll be turning our sights to the Canadian west coast, as the Olympic torch arrives in Vancouver to tip off the Winter Olympic games. Fast forward a week into March, and we’re smack dab in the middle of the NCAA basketball tournament. And as soon as the Madness comes to a halt, it’s time for the NHL and NBA playoffs! February, March, and April are without a doubt the most important and exciting months in the sporting year, and as all these momentous events approach, now is a good time to reflect on the extent to which McGill has helped shape three of the major sports we enjoy playing and watching today.

Gridiron genesis

The game of football is a relatively new sport that only developed its contemporary set of rules in the last 150 years. Football originated from the game of rugby, which was developed in England during the 19th century. The game was introduced to North America by British soldiers stationed in Canada, and it caught on quickly at Canadian universities.

In its earliest days, the rules of football were incredibly fluid, and varied from school to school. As each school practiced different versions of football, disagreements about how the game was played inevitably arose. In the United States, the few Northeastern schools that played football attempted to establish a universal set of rules for the game. Harvard, though, refused to play by the proposed set of rules, which disallowed carrying the ball. Unable to find competition in the United States, America’s top school looked north of the border for a suitable opponent.

The 1874 game between McGill and Harvard is considered the first game of modern football. The two teams were able to compromise on a set of rules which were soon adopted by other universities in the United States, and the game – which lasted a full two days – led to the birth of modern American football.

History on ice

In the early 1800’s, another sport was developed in Canada and came to fruition at McGill. The origins of this game came from an early version of lacrosse called dehuntshigwa’es, first played by the indigenous peoples of Nova Scotia. European settlers took a liking to the game, decided to play it on ice, and Canada’s national sport was born.

As ice hockey gained popularity, Montreal became the sport’s epicentre. On March 13, 1875, the first indoor hockey game was played in Montreal between two nine-player teams. Several of the participants were McGill students, who eventually teamed up to draft a set of rules for the sport and introduce the use of a puck rather than a ball. In 1877, the McGill University Hockey Club became the first organized ice hockey club in history.

The first hockey world championship tournament took place at the Montreal Winter Carnival in 1883, and the McGill squad came away victorious. Following the rise of hockey in Canada, the States and Europe soon adopted the game of hockey as well. Hockey was soon developed into a professional sport in the early 1900s, with the NHL appearing in 1917.

The real Dr. J

Perhaps McGill’s greatest claim to sporting invention, however, is the story of Dr. James Naismith. Naismith entered McGill in 1887, and lettered on the school’s football, soccer, and gymnastics teams. After graduation, Naismith returned to McGill as the school’s athletics director. In 1890, he moved to Springfield, Massachusetts to teach at the local YMCA. Due to the long winters in Springfield, Naismith worked to develop a game that could be played indoors year-round, yet necessitated the athletic aptitude and skill of outdoor sports such as football and lacrosse. One large ball and two elevated peach-baskets later, and Springfield was introduced to the game of basketball.

The first game of basketball was played in 1891 at Springfield College. Naismith later modified his original rules, incorporating backboards and allowing the use of a dribble to move the ball down the court.

Naismith would go on to coach basketball at the University of Kansas, and later became the school’s athletic director. Today, his name prefaces the basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, and is inscribed by the NCAA on the award given annually to the top player in college basketball.

So as we prepare for the best the sports year has to offer – by stocking up on beer and paying our cable bills in advance – let’s all take a moment to recognize and celebrate the part McGill has played in the development of modern sports.

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