Joke, Sports

The ‘Tribune’ wins ‘Best Sports Section’ at McGill Journalism Awards

This weekend, The McGill Tribune was presented with the award for “Best Sports Section” at the first annual McGill Journalism Awards ceremony. The awards, which are voted on by a committee of McGill students, administrators, and random bystanders plucked off the street by Roddick Gates, were held in a closed ceremony over Zoom. While all publications were welcome to enter the ceremony, the Tribune was the sole publication eligible for the award, as it had the only active sports section on campus.

Attendees reported that the night was a great success, and the commemorative red carpet Zoom background was appreciated by all. Winners were awarded a golden Marty the Martlet bobblehead trophy and three expired OAP drink tickets.

The Tribune’s sports section was chosen based on its history of heavy-hitting journalism and ground-breaking key McGill sports stories, such as a racy tell-all interview with Marty, an inside look at Fight Club, and a daring exposé on the monster in the labyrinthine halls of Tomlinson Hall. These three articles were unfortunately never published for fear that the public was not yet ready for such daring journalism.

Other notable stories include inquiries into whether students know that McGill has sports teams, regular predictions of why this season will finally be the Montreal Canadiens’ year, and frequent retrospectives on why the team collapsed halfway through December. 

The Tribune beat out stiff competition, such as the McGill Athletics department’s press releases. Many were shocked that the section prospered through a year of virtually no sports content. Nonetheless, sheer, raw will powered the humble section, saving it from COVID-onset discontinuation.

“I really never would have guessed we would win such a prestigious award,” said famed Sports Editor Farah Sarnand. “There were so many great candidates. I’d like to thank my parents, the McGill Hotdog Man, and the guy who sneezed on me in Leacock 132 for making me the proud McGillian I am today.”

Students were eager to discuss why they happily choose the Tribune for all their McGill sports needs. 

“My roommate writes for it,” one student said during the Zoom afterparty that followed the ceremony. “She won’t do the dishes until I read her articles every week.”

Many were quick to remark the sheer notoriety of the section. After all, celebrities like famed athlete Dick Pound have been flooding the section’s emails for an opportunity to be interviewed. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s the only sports section on campus,” another student said on Zoom. 

Some students recalled the excitement that arose when rooting for their home team. 

“I’m a big fan of McGill Athletics,” a third student remarked. “I always go to Carnival to see my friends and to root for the […] Cardinals? Robins? What’s the team name again?”

Other categories and victors at the ceremony included @rvc_caf_updates for “Best Food Section,” r/McGill for “Best Advice Section,” and The McGill Nightly for “Best News Section.”

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