In an updated version of its Charter of Student Rights, McGill has amended that, “Hey, can you watch my stuff for a sec?”, “I’m just going to get coffee, will you be here for the next ten minutes,” and “Sorry, could you…” are all legitimate, legally binding contracts. The clause[Read More…]
Joke
Montreal hipster ‘heard of it first’
In the Mile-End neighbourhood of Montreal, tote bags too-small-to-carry-anything-in are catching on. But local hipster James Bax assures that he totally heard of it first. “Everyone started using these tote bags all of a sudden,” Bax said. “But I started it. I mean, I’ve used aesthetically-pleasing but nonfunctional things for[Read More…]
Marty the Martlet elected SSMU president
McGill mascot Marty the Martlet was announced as winner of the presidential contest for the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) for the 2017-18 school year. The gigantic bird fought a hard campaign against Jane Darnold, ultimately finding success with his “Just Wing It,” platform. Upon hearing the news, Darnold was[Read More…]
Principal Fournier purchases fleets of car to aid walk from Leacock to McIntyre
After a disappointing meeting with members of Divest McGill, McGill University Principal Josie-Anne Fournier announced plans to address a growing student complaint: The hike from Leacock Building to the McIntyre Medical Building. “We will be purchasing 20 fleets of Cadillac Escalades to transport students to and from Leacock and McIntyre for[Read More…]
April Fools Issue 2016
The McGill Tribune presents its articles for its annual April Fools' Joke issue: Stories SSMU turns to flip cup to decide result of “divisive” and “external” motions McGill to divest from colour red Student crashes Minerva by accidently completing course evaluation Varsity LARP team wins regional championship Students discovered in[Read More…]
SSMU turns to flip cup to decide result of “divisive” and “external” motions
In the aftermath of the failed attempt to pass a constitutional amendment creating a Steering Committee to prevent “divisive” and “external” motions from being voted on at the General Assembly (GA), The Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) Council has announced a new procedure for dealing with controversial motions. Instead[Read More…]
Principal, missing since March 23, found safe
Principal and Vice-Chancellor of McGill University Josie-Anne Fortimer, who has been missing since March 23, has been found safe, though at this time her exact location is unknown. Fortimer disappeared seemingly without a trace after announcing to the university via email that the Board of Governors (BoG) will not be[Read More…]
Students discovered in suspended animation under melting snowbanks
When April arrives with its sweet showers to herald spring and the end of the term, and the giant snowbanks that have dwarfed all other campus structures for the past six months finally begin to melt, what was once hidden shall be revealed. We meet again our old friends the[Read More…]
McGill to divest from the colour red
In the latest divisive Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) motion debated at yesterday’s Mid-Term-Crisis General Assembly (GA), 87 per cent of students decided to part ways with the iconic McGill red. SSMU is now mandated to lobby the McGill Board of Governors to divest from and boycott all things[Read More…]
Student crashes Minerva by accidently completing course evaluation
Like every other student, I thought Minerva was supposedly going to be unavailable from Friday April 1 to Tuesday April 5 because of a technical upgrade; however, I was still a bit skeptical about this official reason. Yesterday confirmed my thoughts. I had received a call in the early afternoon[Read More…]
