Mark Corey, U1 Political Science, claims to have ingested a magical samosa, rendering him incapable of telling and writing anything but the truth. According to Corey, the otherworldly nature of this samosa revealed itself in the form of severe stomach pains and acute gastrointestinal distress. “It was as if my[Read More…]
Joke
Montreal Curling Club announces new sponsorship deal with Swiffer™
On March 25, Canada’s most decorated curling club, The Montreal Curling Club, announced their new sponsorship deal with the iconic household brand Swiffer™. Club President Joey Moore and Swiffer™ CFO Howard Tallman signed a five-year contract worth $1,000 at the club’s office in Côte-des-Neiges. “We here at Swiffer™ are just[Read More…]
SSMU World Order
Just two months after McGill unveiled plans for the new Rossy Student Wellness Hub, advertising it as a one-stop shop for all McGill healthcare services, SSMU announced plans for a competing wellness hub. McGill will now have two one-stop shops for all students’ physical and mental health needs. “The administration[Read More…]
Friend’s boyfriend’s Mile End band actually sort of good
Despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, friend from residence, Sarah Jensen’s boyfriend’s Mile End band played a gig on March 28 that didn’t totally suck. While they seemed like any other tiny-hat toting group of boys, Plunger actually played a pretty solid set; several audience members described it as[Read More…]
McGill divests from fossil fuels, funds new Amazon rainforest campus
Since 2012, Divest McGill has protested McGill’s investment in companies that profit from fossil fuels. The student group has led the charge for climate activism on campus, organizing protests, raising awareness, and gaining the support of the Student’s Society of McGill University (SSMU). Their calls for action largely fell on[Read More…]
First-year intramural team, Threezus, falls to 0-6 in gritty affair
In another riveting Open B intramural game, Threezus (0-6) fell to Love Competition Ball (6-0) 86-35. When Threezus forward Jeffrey Smith, U0 Arts, joined his intramural basketball team for the winter season, it’s safe to say he didn’t know what he was getting into. The McGill Tribune was unable to attend[Read More…]
McGill Food and Dining Services to host a Real Food Week
McGill Food and Dining Services often hosts themed food events, such as Tropical Dinner, Taste of Greece, Seoul Food, Vietnamazing, and Taste of India. Now, it has decided to take its theme in a different direction. For the first time in McGill history, cafeterias will hold a Real Food Week,[Read More…]
U0 science student still trapped in the Adams Auditorium disaster zone
This excerpt belongs to a series of documents recovered from the FDA stairwell. They are speculated to originate from during the Adams Auditorium Ceiling Tile Blitzkrieg. As I write this, I am currently trapped in the fifth row of seats in the Adams Auditorium. I wish I could leave–I wish[Read More…]
New class on cannabis to be taught by Ontario hash lord Doug Ford
Recreational marijuana is set to be legalized in Canada this summer, and not only are more people rolling fatties, but schools throughout Canada, such as Durham College and Niagara College, are offering classes focused on cannabis. As a result, McGill Principal Suzie Porpier recently announced that in the Fall 2018[Read More…]
Canadiens trade Bergevin to Sabres for bag of pucks
The Montreal Canadiens announced Thursday that they have traded General Manager Marc Bergevin to the Buffalo Sabres for a bag of practice pucks that were found in the back room of the KeyBank Center. This news comes after months of speculation from fans and critics, who have long suspected that[Read More…]
