Joke

Principal Fournier purchases fleets of car to aid walk from Leacock to McIntyre

After a disappointing meeting with members of Divest McGill, McGill University Principal Josie-Anne Fournier announced plans to address a growing student complaint: The hike from Leacock Building to the McIntyre Medical Building.

“We will be purchasing 20 fleets of Cadillac Escalades to transport students to and from Leacock and McIntyre for free," Fournier said. “These vehicles will help students get to class on time, as well as reduce the hundreds of students the Health Centre receives each year due to slipping injuries."

Fournier is also intersted in making this experience as positive as possible for students added,

“We will also mandate that the engines be kept running at all times, so we can ensure that a student coming from the McLennan Library holding a cup of Premium Molson Coffee would be kept warm as soon as they board the Cadillac," Fournier said.

Lindsey Graham, a U2 Economics and Political Science double major, applauded the principal taking the initiative to address serious campus issues.

“Although I have never read the emails sent from Principal Fournier's office, I will definitely keep an eye out for the next one," Emma Dubois, U3 Management, added, “Drill, Baby, Drill! Harper 2020!”

Although McGill will absorb all costs for the coming Fall semester, SSMU will take charge of the vehicles and drivers from 2017 onwards.

“We expect all the students to chip in towards this service, which is why we will likely be calling for a $5.50 base fee increase in 2017," incoming SSMU president Jen Fer. “This time, it will pass."

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