Latest News

Arts & Entertainment, Film and TV

TELEVISION: My superpowers trump your superpowers

The newest and most highly anticipated show from NBC’s fall lineup premiered Monday night. Heroes enacts everybody’s dream fantasy – to wake up in the morning and discover an amazing superpower. Along the lines of a televised X-Men, the show follows nine characters around the globe who find themselves in just that situation. From teleportation to indestructability, these characters seem to embody every “what if?” curiosity that we secretly have. The mystery of the show revolves around the use of the new superpowers and how these international and strikingly diverse characters – from a white-collar Tokyo businessman to a Texan high-school cheerleader – finally meet. Also keeping viewers on their toes is the question of whether or not the superpowered characters will actually all form, as expected, into a superhero squad out to fight for global truth and justice. What about the ever-present possibility of a bad apple spoiling in the bunch? This is all part of the “journey of discovery” that creator Tim Kring describes as the experience of the show.

The Tribune had the oppurtunity to learn more about the world of Heroes and its players in a talk with creator Tim Kring as well as two stars of the new show, Greg Grunberg of Alias fame and Masi Oka, a digital effects maven- (of such movies as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest) -turned-actor.

What superpower did you want as a kid?

Greg Grunberg (Matt Parkman): My superpower was given to my imaginary friend. I always dreamt of invisibility – I had this imaginary friend that no one else could see – that was the really cool thing for me. Right now on the show I get to read people’s minds, which is incredibly cool. I’m learning throughout shooting and sort of becoming this character that it at times can be sad and really enlightening at the same time. You don’t always want to hear everyone’s thoughts! The way Tim is writing this character and all these characters is in a really personal way – what would actually happen if you woke up and you had that superpower. It wouldn’t necessarily just be an incredible thing. It would also be something very difficult to deal with and at times… it’s just so interesting to play and it constantly surprises me, makes me relate it to my everyday life, and hopefully everyone else will as well.

Masi Oka (Hiro Nakamura): When I was a kid, a superpower I would have wanted is probably the Midas Touch – the ability to turn anything into gold. Because my allowance was, I think, about a quarter every week, and that wasn’t enough at the arcade to play more than one game, so I just had to be really good at the arcade or have rich parents. But If I had the Midas touch I could have just picked up a stone and it would’ve turned gold. I could’ve played a lot of arcade games!

Tim Kring (creat0r): Well right now I wish I could be in four places at once! But no, I was never really one of those people who were really fascinated by or fantasized about having superpowers. Although when I really started thinking about that for the show, I sort of decided that flight would be the best one to have. It just seems like it would be the coolest.

Tim, where did you get the germ for the idea for this series?

TK: The germ for this idea came about a year ago. I was supposed to develop a show for NBC and I became fascinated with this new idea of the paradigm of a serialized large-ensemble show. That was something very interesting to me. And I started thinking about what would make an interesting version of that show. Then I happened to see two movies back-to-back, in two consecutive days and they sort of melded together in my mind – one was The Incredibles, and the other was The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by Charlie Kaufman. I just started to blend those two in my mind over the next few days because I loved both of these movies. I then mixed the idea of people that had superpowers who were trying to struggle with their everyday lives with these sort of Kaufmanesque characters – the highly hyper-real anonymous kind of characters – people that you would pass on the street and never think twice about. And in my mind those two things started to come together. That was sort of the genesis where that idea came.

If there’s been one criticism of the pilot, it’s that it lacks a little bit of joy. And aside from Masi’s character, no one’s really particularly excited to be discovering these abilities. Is that something that we’re going to see more of as the series evolves – that they come to accept their powers?

TK: Yes exactly. Heroes was actually created for just that reason. I was very interested in the idea of what would really happen if you or I woke up and something this extraordinary happened. The ability to read thoughts, or if you sensed you could fly but weren’t quite sure how one would really react to it. Well the truth is that there wouldn’t be great enthusiasm. All of us would find it kind of burdensome… we’d go to the doctor, or we’d go to the shrink. Most of us would not embrace it as someting that was wanted. But as these characters continue to accept these powers and grow in their use of these abilities they then can pull them into their normal lives. Their lives have obviously all of the ups and downs and travails of normal life. As it goes on, we will see them gain an acceptance and it will be less burdensome to them.

Greg, how does your character Matt feel about keeping his power a secret? Is it hard for him to keep his powers secret from his wife and friends?

GG: Well at first, like all the other characters, it’s right at the very genesis, right when he wakes up. Suddenly he’s hearing voices. To tell anyone, especially his wife, opens a can of worms – people will think you’re crazy! What I love, is that it’s not just so simple to just tell people. People won’t believe you, they’ll think you’re nuts. And when my character first comes across it he can’t even control it, he doesn’t even know it himself.

When I read the script, it’s just so much more complex than you would think at first – ‘oh I can read someone else’s mind – great!’ It’s just so great to read the script and discover how best to use these powers and deal with them in everyday life. It’s going to be a constant struggle for my character to reveal it… but I’m looking forward to the parts where my character is getting excited about his powers. I’ve already shot a little bit where I’m using it to satisfy my wife – my ability to read her mind. You can take that as far as you want – we did!

Greg, given that you seem to have good runs on series where you don’t appear in the pilot yet – in the Lost pilot you were gobbled up by a monster – is this a good omen for the show, that you’re not in the pilot?

GG: I really do think it is. I was joking about that but you really have to go and run with your track record. After watching the pilot that’s going to air it’s so satisfying that you really spend quality time with Masi’s, Peter’s and Ali’s character. To try and squeeze all of these characters into the pilot and give them enough time to really get to know them, to relate to them, and enjoy them, it’s just too hard to do. Tim and I had a talk, and they were going to try to pepper my character and Leonard’s character for the pilot, but it just didn’t do it justice. The way that I’m introduced in the second episode is just so fantastic. I’m just really, really happy, and I’m so excited for the premiere. It’s just one of those shows that I’ve been incredibly fortunate to be a part of, there’s been a few of them, I mean Felicity had a great buzz about it when it started too, and of course Alias and Lost. Hopefully I’m just really, really lucky!

Student Life

STUDENT LIVING: Vive le Quebec, Vie la Poutine

For stick-thin health conscious fellows, poutine is venom on a plate. However, to every other “normal” person in Canada, it is simply a mountain of fries topped with cheese curds and gravy.

Poutine may be a Quebec delicacy and extremely delicious, but unfortunately, the fries-cheese-gravy aspect of poutine makes it an artery-clogging snack. Despite these health consequences, this Canadian dish actually has an interesting story behind it.

There are several unconfirmed claims about the origins of poutine, all of which date between the 1950s to the 1970s. The first one is traced back to the year 1957 in Warwick, Quebec. Owner of Lutin Qui Rit restaurant (translated: The Laughing Elf), Fernand LaChance claimed that, one day, a particularily odd take-out customer asked for fries and cheese in the same bag. LaChance warned the customer that it would make a big mess, but the customer paid him no regard and thankfully so. The newly created dish was christened “poutine,” which is slang for mess. LaChance’s original version did not contain gravy, but he claims to have changed the recipe in 1964, when he realized that gravy melted the cheese.

Jean-Paul Roy also claimed the invention of Poutine in 1964. In his restaurant, Roy le Jucep (1050 blvd. St. Joseph, Drummondville, Quebec), Roy used to serve potatoes with a special sauce. The mixture was called “patate-sauce.” He also sold small bags of cheese curd, which people would add to their main dish. Roy noticed people mixing the cheese curds with his “patate-sauce” delicacy, and some of the restaurant regulars suggested adding the cheese directly to the “patate-sauce.” Soon after, “fromage-patate-sauce” appeared on the restaurant’s menu. In the Roy version of the poutine story, the dish’s name was influenced by his grandmother, who would call any mixture she prepared a “pouding” (pudding). After a while, the word began to sound like “Poutine” and used to describe to his “fromage-patate-sauce” delicacy.

Now, when feasting on Poutine, you no longer need to feel guilty about its heart-attack-on-a-plate status; blame your cravings on these two men, instead! So go ahead, enjoy your carb fiestas. It’s monsieur Roy et monsieur Fernand’s fault it is so delicious, not yours.

Arts & Entertainment, Music

MUSIC: Sout (out out out out) like it’s a dance party

Well before Shout Out Out Out Out even stepped on stage Thursday night, their presence was felt among the crowd. Flocks of college kids gathered outside the venue and later filled the moderately sized La Tulipe to the brim. The level of excitement was palpable, setting the bar of expectation for the evening very high. Luckily for the audience, SOOOO as well as friends Holy Fuck, managed to follow through swimmingly.

Montreal three-piece Land of Talk opened the night with Elizabeth Powell’s strong but sweet vocals and a solid instrumental backing. Their set wasn’t spectacular, but considering the stylistic differences between Land of Talk and the headliners, they did a commendable job warming up the crowd.

The area surrounding the stage became dense with fans as Edmonton’s Shout Out Out Out Out assembled its barrage of equipment. Such complexity is warranted when one considers it’s responsible for supporting the four bassists and two drummers that comprise the renowned electro-rock group. SOOOO was greeted with the audience’s enthusiastic applause – possibly in response to the flashing block letters on stage commanding: “SHOUT.” The band kept the energy level high and the audience enthralled.

“When we play music we’re totally into it and if the crowd is into it too, there is that connection… It’s a way stronger rush when the crowd is feeling that same thing that you’re feeling onstage,” says Nik Kozub, front man of SOOOO. Dancing broke out almost immediately but for those too timid to let loose, vigorous clapping and head nodding commenced.

“We want to have a dance party every night and that’s why we’re playing the music that we play,” explains Kozub. “Usually even in the places where people aren’t dancing, afterwards they’re totally into it. … I guess some people have a different way of showing it than others.”

The band hammered through their set, their two drummers pounding out beats simultaneously as the remaining members alternated between bass, synths and a myriad of other electro equipment. Songs such as “Dude You Feel Electrical,” from their album Not Saying/Just Saying, highlighted the show; the seemingly simple dance beats masking the somewhat grim lyrics about debt and misfortune.

“There are songs on the record that are specifically about going out to clubs and dancing to forget about the shitty aspects life,” Kozub clarifies. “I think that’s kind of a theme for the album, that juxtaposition of dance music covering up a really kind of dismal world view. Musically, thematically, we’re just going for dance music. We just want people to move.”

Toronto’s Holy Fuck took the stage for a lengthy set of swirling, experimental electro-beats. Although Holy Fuck’s style is somewhat subdued compared to the in-your-face danceable beats of Shout Out Out Out Out, the crowd seemed equally impressed. Since Holy Fuck’s music is solely instrumental, the focus was placed on the unique, improvisational sound attributed to the group’s ingenuity-as well as its use of a wide range of sound equipment. The highlight of the set, perhaps even of the night, was a 20-minute jam session featuring assorted members of SOOOO.

One of the most attractive traits in electronic music is the impact it is capable of making in a live setting. Both Shout Out Out Out Out and Holy Fuck took full advantage of this ability and left the crowd wanting more. After seeing this show, it’s clear that both of these bands have the potential to rise to the top of the electro-rock music genre.

Features

FEATURE: More than just a language barrier

The shiny brochures in the Welcome Centre may romanticize student life, but they cannot exaggerate this fact: McGill is a unique institution. As an internationally renowned, English university located in the centre of a French-speaking province, most McGill students come in contact with a tongue that they do not understand every day, whether it be French, Arabic or Japanese. While this causes occasional confusion, most McGill students enjoy the exposure they get to different languages.

Cultural diversity and a multilingual studentry aside, McGill remains an English university. Although only 60 per cent of the school’s population claims English as their native tongue, it is easy to be on campus for an entire day without uttering a word in any language other than English. In a province where over 80 per cent of residents speak French, McGill’s preference for English is a welcoming one for a number of students whose French is, shall we say, moins que parfait.

But McGill students who grew up speaking French have a radically different experience.

Representing only 20 per cent of McGill’s student body, francophone students often feel intimidated upon entering a predominantly English-speaking university. “The language barrier is certainly something that prevents a lot of francophone students from getting involved on campus,” says Wendy Brett, Assistant to Francophone Students in the First Year Office. Yet is McGill’s predominant use of English the only obstacle that francophone students encounter?

Partly. In addition to the obvious language issue, McGill’s francophone students also find themselves in a tougher social situation than the English-speaking students. Francophones are “less likely to get involved on campus,” asserts Sophie Zhang, former president of the Resue des Etudiants Francophones, now known as the Centre des Etudiants Francophones (CEF). “The francophone community is very self-contained,” agrees Jessica (last name withheld), U3 Civil Engineering. “I’ve made a few English-speaking friends at McGill, but not many.” Brett believes that is because “a lot of French-speaking students are Montreal-based, and so often they will not live in [campus] residence; they will have friends that they have made at CEGEP. Because of that, they are more socially self-sufficient.”

Since Montrealers are more “self-sufficient,” the CEF has become less focused on social events and more interested in service. “Our members want us to be more like a resource than a social club,” Zhang says. “The low turnout was disappointing for a lot of [social] events.”

Instead of holding parties, the CEF aims to help McGill’s francophone population exercise rights as students who represent a minority group. Pasqale Dequen, former Treasurer of the Resue, adds that “we want to integrate francophone students [into McGill] to the best of our ability. … McGill is a foreign environment for everyone who comes in. Why not create a group or society that makes people feel more comfortable where they are?”.

But are McGill’s native French speakers interested in integration? David-Marc Newman, Francophone Commissioner to the Students’ Society, claims that many incoming students from Montreal perceive McGill as a “bubble,” because it is isolated from the urban life in Montreal.

Indeed, getting out of the McGill “bubble,” rather than getting into it, appears to be a large concern for McGill’s French-speaking students. Alexandre de Lorimier, Editor-In-Chief of Le Délit, McGill’s only French newspaper, claims that his readers are mainly interested in local Montreal culture rather than issues relating to McGill administration. “Most of our readers also read the Daily and the Tribune. They know they can get their news…about what’s going on campus via other publications.” Le Délit’s largest section is culture.

As the voice of the McGill francophone community, Le Délit prints only 6,000 copies per week, while the McGill Daily publishes 11,000. They also receive less money. “We share the funding with the Daily… two-thirds of the budget goes to the Daily, one third goes to us,” de Lorimier says. However, de Lorimier does not appear to be phased by his paper’s smaller budget and readership. “We have a smaller readership, for sure. We’re a much smaller community.”

Small as it is, the community is certainly distinct. Lorimier claims that Le Delit represents a “different perspective” from the Daily. Le Délit’s angle, on politics especially, is “different from an English-speaking newspaper. We have both Federalist and Sovereigntist people on our staff.” Le Delit, in effect, represents politics in a way that is more relevant to francophone students.

McGill’s French-speakers may be a minority, but this does always mean that they are unrepresented, culturally, politically or otherwise. “I wouldn’t call the [francophone students] a minority population,” asserts Brett. “The word minority implies a sense of persecution, and I don’t necessarily feel that that is the case here.”

Student Life

STUDENT LIVING: Perspective: Coming home to university

I have a dirty little secret: I’ve never been to a frosh event. I’ve also never attended a McGill sports game, joined a club or even been inside a university rez. No, I’m not a hermit, or even anti-social. I’m a Montrealer. One of those cool but elusive people you meet in one of your classes then never seem to encounter again.

I’ve done my best to go to school without ever having to actually attend. I took pride on making a schedule without breaks in order to ensure the least amount of time spent on campus. I’ve also shied away from after-school activities that would force me to be downtown once the sun has set. It sounds bizarre, but for me-and many other Montrealers-university is not home. It is the extension of that tedious high school experience whose completion we all anxiously awaited.

I understand the frosh impulse-well, kind of; beer bongs at 10 a.m. still seem incomprehensible, by any stretch of my imagination. But moving here from Toronto or Boston or Los Angeles must be terrifying. And what better way to make new friends than bonding over the fact that you’re of legal drinking age?

But I’ve been there, done that. I know where the good bars are, and who makes the best 4 a.m. pizza (the spinach slice from Dany’s on de la Montagne gets my vote, in case anyone’s curious.)

Having grown up in this wonderful city that many of you are just coming to discover, I clearly have a different kind of relationship with McGill and the university experience. I live at home, as do most of my friends. The majority of us have known each other since high school, often elementary. It’s a hard shell to break out of, and one most of us find unnecessary to leave. And therein lies the problem. I’m comfortable, probably too comfortable. There is no motivation to seek out anything new, which explains why I frequent the same three bars every weekend.

University should be about finding yourself, growing up-or at least that’s what they say on TV. We’re missing out on the “college” experience. Do we want to look back and remember all the brilliant ways we avoided having to actually take part in anything McGill related? If so, I’m paying way too much for tuition.

I know this isn’t for everyone. There are those crazy McGill Montrealers who are chugging down Boréale with the rest of the froshies. You don’t have to read this. But for all of the Montrealers who get a little queasy at the idea of “getting involved” ­- go explore. I know my West Island friends balk at the idea of having to come into the city on a weekend, as do my fellow Cote-St-Luc-Hampstead-Montreal West buddies. But trust me, you won’t melt. Pick out an unsuspecting foreigner and impress them with your knowledge of bars and restaurants that are located – gasp – on a street besides St-Laurent and rue Crescent. Take advantage of the clubs and activities McGill offers. Eat a samosa if nothing else. But above all, just go get out there.

Opinion

WET PAINT: Let’s go play on the gender gym

I remember what a taunt it used to be to be told that you throw like a girl. A girl obviously can’t throw very well. Of course we all now realize that, as a girl, it should be a compliment to be told that you throw like a girl. How terribly anti-feminist to think otherwise, right?

Along with this reasoning came a wave of other reclamations-a process of recoding all that is deemed “women’s’ work” as nothing less than superb.

And so a murmur of clicking started to spread across the country, as knitting needles frenzied at Stitch ‘n’ Bitch parties. Women took up knitting as a return to their roots and enjoyed the attendant fuzzy feeling they got from knowing that, woven into their woolies, was their own personal form of feminism. While I hope never to knit a line in my life, I understand the feminist agenda.

Yet a recent altercation made me realize how deeply embedded our male-female relations become during the time of jungle gyms and fruit roll-ups-long before complex feminist questions arise amidst socks and scarves.

Out at Lounge, a friend and I were in the washroom; banging on the door in a most rude and continuous fashion was some guy outside. I opened it, told him we’d be about 30 more seconds, asked him to calm himself and shut it again. He continued, and upon exiting, I relayed my disdain for the whole situation.

And then he pushed me; literally shoved me.

I wasn’t quite sure what to think. Here I was, a girl, in heels and a dress, at a lounge, and I’d just been pushed?! By a guy?!

It wasn’t merely the fact that I had been physically accosted by someone that bothered me; it was my status as a girl that had been pushed by a guy. I use the term “girl” because the only thought in my mind at the time was the all-too-familiar line, “Boys can’t hit girls.” It’s probably as ingrained in my collective childhood memory bank as “That’s my shovel!” and, “It’s my turn!” So what was so vexing about it now?

It is such an empty expression. Why can’t boys hit girls? Why is it okay for boys to hit boys, but not okay for boys to hit girls? In a perfect world, no one would hit anyone. But in a perfect world, religious groups wouldn’t need pamphlets portraying the perfect world as made up of rainbows and sunny picnics; they also wouldn’t ring my doorbell at dinnertime.

The expression “Boys can’t hit girls” seems to engender a view that females are, on an absolute level, completely inferior and incapable of defending themselves. Of course I realize domestic violence and rape abound, and they’re nothing short of revolting. But why is it so much less revolting when boys or men hurt each other? The expression “Boys can’t hit girls” connotes, in an automatic way, that there is something more okay about boys hitting each other than there is about boys hitting girls.

I can’t accept it being even the slightest bit of “okay,” because some boys are clearly still defying the popular playground rules and hitting girls in the grown-ups’ sandbox.

Perhaps it was an act of enlightened, feminist aggression, and he figured, “If I can hit a boy, why not a girl?”

Had he said that, I think I might have told him he had a valid point. Because, if you’re of the mindset to enter the ring in the first place, you’re going to step up and dance; a vagina’s not going to stop you.

Opinion

SIMPLY SPEAKING: Harper needs to stand up for gun control

The House of Commons returned from summer recess last Monday. I don’t know about you but I miss recess. It’s fun to leave your work at your desk and run outside to the playground and play games like hide-and-seek. But I don’t think that MPs appreciate recess or hide-and-seek; now that recess is over, they’re “it.”

The media wants to talk about the Dawson shooting, which has been all over the news lately.

At first I was surprised by how much Canadians across the country were affected by the shooting. I grew up 30 minutes outside of Detroit. I could turn on my TV and watch a new murder on the news every night. So what if Dawson College was pumped full of bullet holes? Many Detroit schools are full of bullet holes. What makes Dawson so special? It’s Canadian, that’s what.

I remember the Columbine massacre. I was in junior high at the time and it seemed like every boy I knew was obsessed with it and all of its accessories like guns, trench coats and bombs. I can imagine the same junior high boys today playing Super Dawson Massacre just like Kimveer Gill played Super Columbine Massacre.

Should we be scared that a few years from now there will be another school shooting? Lots of journalists and politicians think so, and they all want to talk about it-except Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

When asked about what his government planned to do on gun control, Harper ducked the issue. “Frankly,” he said, “I think it’s not a day for a discussion of policies. I can only note that obviously the current laws did not prevent this incident, and as a government we are seeking more effective laws for the future.”

That was a dumb move. I thought he was one of those suave, sophisticated political types. Obviously I was wrong. A smart politician would have said something more sympathetic while still blowing off reporters’ questions.

Last Monday, Stevie tried to sound more suave and sophisticated. He made some points about things unrelated to the Dawson shootings, like criminal sentences. But Kimveer Gill never made it to trial. Stevie also pointed out that Canadian gun laws did not stop the killer from getting a weapon and called this failure “not acceptable.” I think the word he was looking for was “unacceptable.” He ignored the issue everyone wants him to talk about-gun control.

The press likes to compare the Dawson shootings to the École Polytechnique massacre of 1989, which spurred the gun control movement and led to the establishment of the gun registry. Harper was in the process of getting rid of the registry when the shootings occurred. Now the press wants to know what he’s going to do. Harper likes to point to the shooting as proof that the registry didn’t work, but one school shooting is not enough to prove that.

Right now the debate about the gun registry is going nowhere. In fact, it appears to have very little to do with the shooting. Gill used a registered gun to kill people. Anyone can use a registered gun to kill people-even mentally stable people who aren’t social rejects. It’s time for Harper to stop dancing around the questions and tell us what he is going to do about gun control.

On my last flight to Canada, the guy sitting next to me told me how Canadian cities were getting more violent because people were getting used to the idea of murder. Surely you don’t want Canada to turn into the United States, where the National Rifle Association has more power than many politicians and the public doesn’t even blink when someone is shot. Tell Mr. Harper that guns need to be controlled.

News, SSMU

EDITORIAL: A hit and a miss: tales of execs’ summer projects

The academic year is back in full swing, and Students’ Society executives are for the first time facing oversight of their actions from SSMU Council. Two notable summer projects have come up so far, the Harm Reduction Centre (HRC) and the Flying Squad. Both are still in the larvae stage, and there are many details that remain to be worked out concerning their structures before they can be given full approval. The Harm Reduction Centre deserves a chance to work out its kinks. The Flying Squad does not.

The mandate of the HRC-the brainchild of Vice-President Clubs and Services Floh Herra-Vega-is education about drugs and alcohol and activism on drug policy. The HRC plans to take a realistic approach towards drug use, which is refreshing. It is time that drug education took a page from sex education and went beyond “just say no”.

Preaching abstinence from drug use is all well and good, but it ignores the fact that many people will use-and abuse-drugs and alcohol regardless of how many times they are told that it is bad for them. This is especially true during university, a time when many people experiment with drugs.

This natural tendency to experiment, together with the lack of knowledge that many students have about drugs, means that there is potential for the HRC to do a lot of good by teaching people how to minimize the harm they do to themselves with their drug use. Additionally, the HRC has a reasonably clear mandate. While the granting of “interim service status” is an odd move, the concept has been well thought out and most importantly, the benefits of the HRC to students are clear.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is the Flying Squad, which is an excellent example of how not to start a new student group. This initiative is the summer brainchild of VP External Max Silverman. The Flying Squad’s mission, which admittedly is still being fine-tuned, is to organize students around various causes, which would be chosen by the Flying Squad with no input from SSMU.

The Flying Squad would not be dedicated to any one particular cause. Supposedly, it would allow for quicker and more effective organizing of actions on issues of interest to students. However, the Flying Squad is basically an umbrella organization and it would simply be creating another level of bureaucracy, diminishing its effectiveness.

Currently, if SSMU Council wants to organize student opposition or support for a particular cause, it can pass a motion creating a committee, and give the committee money to carry out its mission. What is unclear is how the Flying Squad will improve on this process. Its budget will still be controlled by Council and its actions will likely need ultimate approval from Council.

How can an umbrella group which has to meet and make its decisions democratically and whose members may not have any interest in particular issues possibly act faster than a focused group made up of people dedicated to a cause?

Effectively, the Flying Squad serves as a duplicate the work of the Grassroots Association for Student Power (GRASPe)-a generalist activist group-except that it lacks GRASPe’s ability to act in an expedient manner. In fact, around half of those who took part in last week’s first meeting of the Flying Squad were members of GRASPe, further adding to the question of why there is a need for the Flying Squad.

In addition, the idea that the Flying Squad could take up any cause it chooses, is troubling. The Flying Squad, as a wing of SSMU, would lend an air of credibility to causes that may be of no interest to the vast majority of the student population. Although SSMU Council would supposedly have a veto over the Flying Squad’s actions, what good would that veto do if the Flying Squad had already taken action?

Silverman should take a page from Herra Vega’s book and re-examine what he is doing with the funds SSMU allocates to him. He must make sure that this money is being put to a use that will provide a substantial benefit to the student body, and this is one test we feel the Flying Squad will not pass.

Joke

THE HELPLESS ROMANTIC: Advice for a pope

O Pope Benny XVI! Was it some relic of your former university professorships that demanded you use full quotations when citing sources? Did you also offer footnotes or a nice handout about how Manuel II was on the verge of losing his empire to Muslims when he said Muhammad brought only evil? I read most of your speech, and I agree with you about God not being pleased by blood-it’s tough for any major religion to disagree with that and not look like some killer cult-but it’s easy to skirt the issue when they can home in on your insults towards their religion’s founder.

I get what you’re trying to do, and frankly you surprised me with a lot of what you’ve done so far: studies regarding condom use in the face of AIDS, the role of women in Catholicism and the stance on diplomacy and peaceful conduct. It’s all good, agreeable stuff, and it doesn’t matter whose mouth it originally came out of. I don’t doubt some people agree with the benevolent Byzantine, and had it been any other high-ranking religious official who quoted him, I would say they’re entitled to their opinion. It’s like those crazies out there setting effigies of you aflame in the street-they’re entitled to practice their religion however they want so long as nobody gets hurt. It certainly isn’t representative of Muhammad’s message or the religion he founded and you’ve agreed, saying similar things yourself.

But getting back to origins, doesn’t being Pope also make you “Vicar of Christ,” which-in original Latin-makes you God’s lieutenant. So according to Catholicism, you’re about as close to God as any mortal gets. Your word is the official stance. You tell Catholics how to behave and your predecessors got hundreds of thousands of crusaders to do the very sort of sword-or-scripture converting you condemn today. While Islam is decentralized and its followers’ actions are unrepresentative of the core religion they worship, you are Catholicism.

There are perks to this centralization, to be sure. What other Catholics say about Jesus, the Bible or any of that stuff, you get to go over with a big red marker to make the religion’s message clear. You get to grade the theses of Christ’s students while you’re Pope and all the other religions accord you the respect your many years of theological study deserve. You’re the first guy to come to anyone’s mind when somebody says “Catholic.” For not-so-centralized religions like Islam, that isn’t always the case. With its many strains, sects and theo-political leaders, non-Muslims are hard-pressed to name anybody from whom they can be sure to get the “right” answer when they want to know the religion’s stance on any issue. Paradoxically, it’s also why decentralized religions get so much leeway.

Benedict, you have to be infinitely more careful about what you say, regardless of who said it first. Especially since what is said, if misconstrued, can lead to religious persecution. To achieve the goal of greater dialogue between Christianity and Islam, you must shed the lecturer’s robe which has traditionally been the priest’s role. You should not speak less like a politician, as Turkish prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan wants, but more like one. The opening of a dialogue between two major religions is like the opening of diplomatic ties, particularly when both lay claim to God’s kingdom. After all, Manuel also said “Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly.”

Student Life

STUDENT LIVING: How to…Talk shit in French

A few years past, one’s command of the French language had to be fairly deft to survive in Quebec for very long. McGill students, for the first weeks after arriving in Montreal, would need to assiduously commit dozens of key phrases to memory in order to obtain everyday household items, from milk to light bulbs.

However, in recent times, Montreal retailers have pussied out on us, many self-respecting businessmen demanding their staff be fluently bilingual. Many a young, studious migrant has drifted through Montreal – or even sojourned here for an extended period of time – without learning a single word of French. This is shameful. And for the sake of multiculturalism upon which this city was founded (well, perhaps not founded, but the fur trade and proselytizing really does nothing to advance my argument here), the Tribune has taken up the task of teaching young McGillians all the French they’ll ever need to know in order to curse appropriately when some bad shit goes down (or to get into a damn good barfight).Here goes…

En français: “Tabernac!”Pronunciation: Tah-bar-nakBackground: Refers to the tent where the Arc of the Covenant was stored.English equivalent: “Fuck!”

En français: “Hostie!”Pronunciation: Us-tyBackground: The word itself denotes a communion wafer. Hardly anyone uses the term in a religious context anymore.English equivalent: “Fuck!”

En français: “Ciboire!”Pronunciation: See-bway-reBackground: Church vase in which the communion wafers are stored.English equivalent: “Fuck!”

These terms can be used in combination, endless succession, in fact, by simply adding the French preposition “de” in between each word.

En français: “Hostie de tabernac de calisse de marde d’enculé de ta mère!”Pronunciation: Let’s not even bother.Background: Basically a bunch of bad shit tacked on back-to-back and a “yo mama” at the end.English equivalent: I think you get the point.

En français: “Mange d’la marde!”Pronunciation: Mahn-je duh lah mahrd.English equivalent: Eat shit.

En français: “Trou du cul”Pronunciation: Troo du ku.English equivalent: Asshole.

En français: “Je t’emmerde”Pronunciation: Jeuh tahn-mehr-duh.English equivalent: I shit on you.

En français: “J’m’en calisse.”Pronunciation: J’mahn kaw-lee-suh.English equivalent: I don’t give a fuck.

En français: “S’ti que j’vais te niquer, fils de pute!”Pronunciation: Let’s not even bother.English equivalent: Damn am I gonna fuck you up, you son of a whore. Then you just let the punches fly. Note: “S’ti,” as it is commonly pronounced, is a contraction of “Hostie.”

En français: “Mais sorts-toi donc le doigt du cul, fénéant!”Pronunciation: This is another hard one. Play it by ear.English equivalent: Basically, it means “Get off your lazy ass and do something!” Literally translated, it reads: “Take your thumb out of your ass, you lazy bastard!”

Read the latest issue

Read the latest issue