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Arts & Entertainment, Film and TV

Do as the Romans do and stay away from When in Rome

Having endured recent atrocities committed in the rom-com genre (The Proposal, Leap Year) audiences deserve a watchable flick. Unfortunately, When In Rome – which opened in theatres on Friday – is another dreadful dud. Anyone who has seen the trailer or gaudy bumblebee-yellow movie poster already predicted this, but for the well-being of everyone else, it’s worth restating.

The plot revolves around Beth (Kristen Bell), a curator at the Guggenheim who is both beautiful and an independent career woman – the genre’s favourite version of feminism. Fed up with her busy yet man-free life, Beth travels to her sister’s wedding in Rome with her own agenda to find love. Apparently this twenty-something bombshell, with a job that treats PhDs like high school diplomas, can’t land a man … right!

On the wedding night, feeling single and sorry for herself, Beth downs a bottle of wine and spitefully snatches five coins from “The Fountain of Love.” Strange magical powers then make the original coin owners instantly fall in love with her. Beth’s suitors include a sausage salesman (Danny DeVito), a street magician (Jon Heder), a male model (Dax Shepard), and an Italian painter (Will Arnett). Then there’s Nick (Josh Duhamel), an ultra-hunk sports reporter with whom Beth feels a genuine connection. But is he just under the spell of the fountain or could he truly love her?

When in Rome attempts to mask its dismal script by bombarding its audience with excessive cameos. Anjelica Huston, Kristen Schaal, Kate Micucci, Alexis Dziena, Efren Ramirez, and Shaquille O’Neil are meaninglessly injected into the film at unexpected moments and then disappear with no further mention. Shaq, for example, shows up at a party, gets mad at Nick for spelling his name wrong, and then disappears, all in under 10 seconds. The film doesn’t even try to tap into the talent of its many hilarious actors, and instead produces unmemorable characters (I have never seen more wasteful use of Angelica Huston or Will Arnett), lifeless jokes, and a sorry excuse for romance.

Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel could have been great in a different romantic comedy, but unfortunately they got stuck with this one. Any chemistry between these two is crushed by their preposterous lines: “I never want to see you in pain,” “I got hit by lightning,” and “You don’t love me, you’re just under a spell” come to mind as particular buzz-killers.

When in Rome is not worth the admission fee, nor the 90 minutes of your life. Instead watch Roman Holiday, the 1953 William Wyler film starring the oh-so-endearing Audrey Hepburn and swoon-worthy Gregory Peck. It will remind you that romantic comedies can be lovely.

 

Arts & Entertainment, Theatre

Women do it solo in The Vagina Monologues

Seeing The Vagina Monologues can be a bit intimidating – but it’s precisely that hesitation that the show is trying to counteract. The Monologues was created as an attempt to reclaim female sexuality by making “vagina” – both the word and the body part – less taboo. Writer Eve Ensler wanted people to see Monologues and say to themselves, “I didn’t know we could talk about this. I guess we can.”

This year, director Jessica Kostuck selected eight actresses from the 75 girls who auditioned to perform the monologues. With each new monologue, we witness the actresses transition into different roles. Each story sounds genuine, as if the actresses had experienced them personally, and each brings something unique to the table.

The monologues cover a range of topics that are positive, negative, and just plain funny. The most memorable monologue is one in which a woman tries to convince the audience that the word “cunt” shouldn’t be a term that people are ashamed to use. She exemplifies this point by turning the monologue into an interactive stomping-and-clapping-filled sing-a-long of “We Will Rock You,” in which the words of the chorus are replaced with repeated cheers of “cunt!” Another standout monologue is the one told by a dominatrix sex worker (played by Emily Murphy) who strives to pleasure women. Her monologue ends with a bang as she imitates all the women she has slept with, giving a firsthand report of their different moans. When asked after the show where she practiced her plethora of moans, Murphy’s answer was short and sweet: “My floor-mates put up with a lot.”

While the Monologues was initially created to simply “celebrate the vagina,” it has since changed to a movement to stop violence and injustice against women. The Monologues served as an inspiration to found V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women. However, this seems to detract from the original motive of the Monologues. The play is helpful in spreading awareness surrounding violence towards women, but I think the Monologues would be more enjoyable if they stuck to stories which, as advertised, “celebrate the vagina.” Instead, the play sometimes comes across as preachy – condemning men and heterosexual relationships through the negative portrayal of male roles greatly outnumbering the positive ones in the script. This makes the play less appealing to men, limiting the audience that the play’s original message of female sexual empowerment can reach. Nonetheless, the monologues concerning sexual violence and abuse are still very powerful. The final monologue is told from the point of view of a girl who was abducted and forced to work as a sex slave for over two years, eventually escaping with her new child. This monologue ends the play with the effective line meant to be imprinted in every woman’s brain: “No one can take anything from you if you don’t give it to them.”

The advertisements for The Vagina Monologues guarantee that no one will ever look at a woman’s body, or think of sex, in quite the same way again. In my opinion, the Monologues didn’t resonate quite as strongly as the tagline suggests. It was definitely engaging, funny at times, and included a nice variety of stories that showed off the actresses’ talent. However, I would not go so far as to say it completely changed my perspective on sexuality. That being said, it was very entertaining and it is something that both women and men should experience seeing.

The Vagina Monologues run Friday February 5 to Sunday February 7 in Leacock 132. Shows start at 8 p.m. and tickets are $12 for students.

Arts & Entertainment, Music

CD REVIEWS: Basia Bulat: Heart of My Own

It’s clear from the opening track of Heart of My Own, the follow-up to her Polaris-nominated debut Oh My Darling, that Basia Bulat isn’t content with her previous success – she’s trying to soar to new heights.

As a singer whose music too often gets the “sweet” label (which it undoubtedly is), it’s refreshing to hear her really going for it. Bulat doesn’t hold back on songs like “Go On” and “Gold Rush,” filling them with big strings and thundering percussion. The idea that she isn’t afraid to write a title track that’s as moving as it is haunting is a testament to her confidence as a songwriter.

As powerful as some of the songs are, Bulat handles the gentle just as well, managing to break a few hearts with her voice on “Sugar and Spice” and calmly closing the album with “If It Rains.” Album highlight “Run” sits somewhere between the grand and the quiet, successfully combining the best elements of both to form Bulat’s catchiest song to date. Don’t be surprised to see some of these songs in an upcoming episode of Grey’s Anatomy (though that may just be wishful thinking).

There are some missteps, however. “If Only You” is a little too country for its own good and doesn’t fit in well with the rest of the songs, while the lyrics leave a lot to be desired. Those expecting a revolutionary folk album should also look elsewhere; as great as the songs are, there’s not much here that falls outside the folk idiom.

Though it may not be the most original release, Heart of My Own is far from a sophomore slump.

Arts & Entertainment, Theatre

The miracle in print

The Daily Miracle is the second play from former Montreal Gazette copy editor David Sherman. Sherman began writing in 2004, when he was a playwright-in-residence at the Centaur Theatre by day and a copy editor by night. The play departs from the traditional fictional focus on investigative reporters to take a look at life behind the editing desk.

“[Copy editors] do a very difficult job … and I don’t think enough is really said about what they bring to the task,” says Sherman.

The Daily Miracle takes place in real-time, after the early edition of the paper has been sent to the presses, but before the final copy has been drafted. The audience sits overlooking the stage, which is set up as a slightly disheveled newsroom from which coffee has been recently outlawed. It’s the night of a winter storm, and tensions are already high between the night editor, the marginally alcoholic and certainly cynical Benjamin (played by Howard Rosenstein), the three copy editors, and a meandering janitor.

Roland (Jean-Guy Bouchard) is a philosophizing former typographer-turned-janitor, who succeeds in annoying the audience almost as much as he annoys the denizens of the newsroom. It’s difficult to say whether his rambling tirades are the result of the writing, the acting, or both. Either way, the result is an excessive, wince-inducing performance.

However, strong preformances from Ellen David (from CBC’s 18 to Life) as Elizabeth, who is balancing a breaking story with a child who has swine flu, fedora-wearing Arthur Holden as Marty, a recently returned editor, and Sheena Gazé-Deslandes, as copy editor and would-be television anchor Carrie, are more than redeeming.

Although the script is charming and witty with timely references – in one case, to the iPad, which was released the day before – the production would have benefited from a few more days of practice.

Non-newspaper people might also find much of the play incomprehensibe, as it’s laden with industry jargon and references which might not make sense to the casual viewer. As a result, the play lacks the wide-range appeal to attract a more general audience. But for those with a stake in the industry, the play is a chilling picture of things to come.

The Daily Miracle is billed as a long-song for the newspaper industry, but it could just as well be an obituary. From the messy desks to the foreboding scent of wasabi wafting out of the executive boardroom, the unanticipated and frankly ominous conclusion is more than disheartening. But despite this, Sherman maintains that there is a future for the newspaper industry.

The Daily Miracle is playing at the Bain St. Michel, 5300 St. Dominique, until February 14. For more information, visit www.infinitheatre.com or call (514) 987-1774.

 

Arts & Entertainment, Music

The Luyas are breaking all the rules

The Luyas are on cop watch. At least that’s what lead singer/guitarist Jessie Stein says as she attempts to drive and talk to me on the phone at the same time – an illegal activity. Add in the fact that it’s snowing, and I start to get worried that this interview could be hazardously cut short – which would be a tragedy for one of Montreal’s most promising bands, especially one with so much on the horizon.

The Luyas started out with Stein, of the SS Cardiacs and Miracle Fortress, joining up with Pietro Amato and Stefan Schneider, both of Bell Orchestre, on french horn and drums respectively. In addition to vocals and guitar, Stein also plays one of only three moodswingers in the world: a custom-built zither-like instrument that has become a unique Luyas trademark. With these tools at hand, they released 2007’s Faker Death.

Now four years, one album, appearances at Pop Montreal and NXNE, and one soon-to-be released album later, what could once be considered a side-project is now a full-time commitment for everyone involved.

“It’s definitely all of our priority and our main project right now,” says Schneider. “We’re really excited to put out this album in the next few months and just to give ‘er hard as a band.”

Their upcoming self-titled release sees the band becoming a more cohesive unit than they were on Faker Death, and this is expected to come through in a tighter sound.

“On this album we’re a band,” says Amato. “Faker Death is kind of Jessie’s songs and Stef and I are off doing our own thing. It’s really interesting how [on that record] everything intertwines and ends up working in the end, but it does definitely feel like this record is more of a band working together with more of a unified vision … The next record that’s coming out sounds unlike anything you’ve ever heard.”

And what does “nothing you’ve ever heard” sound like?

“You’re not supposed to describe sound, you’re supposed to listen to it,” says Stein.

Fair enough.

As cryptic as they may be, The Luyas do divulge that the new record features lots of keyboards and string arrangements by Owen Pallett, of Final Fantasy fame. It’s this new instrumentation that resulted in the addition of new members Mathieu Charbonneau on keys and Sarah Neufeld of Arcade Fire on violin.

“We wanted to fill out the sound a bit to make it sound a little bit more like on the record,” says Amato. “It ended up sounding nothing like it. Our live show is pretty different than the record, but [the addition] was just so the sound wouldn’t feel as bare as it did before.”

The Luyas play Il Motore on February 6, with Shapes and Sizes.

 

Montreal, News

Delegates meet in Montreal to discuss future support for Haiti

After a day-long conference yesterday at the International Civil Aviation Organization in Montreal, members of the international community working along with Haitian Prime Minister Jean-Max Bellerive put forward a general framework outlining future support for Haiti, the nation that was devastated by an earthquake on January 12.

The Ministerial Preparatory Conference, organized by the Canadian government and chaired by Lawrence Cannon, the minister of foreign affairs, brought together representatives from many countries as well as delegates from the United Nations, the World Bank, and various NGOs.

In his opening remarks, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said that the ultimate goal of the meetings was to agree on principles to guide the international community’s approach to Haiti’s reconstruction, and emphasized that any plan must be based on a long-range timeline.

“Sustainability is key. We need to commit to Haiti for the long term,” he said. “It is not an exaggeration to say that 10 years of hard work awaits the world in Haiti.”

Bellerive also emphasized the importance of long-term planning, and said that it will take at least five or six years for the country to even return to point zero. In addition, he identified three main reasons why he believes it was difficult for Haiti to respond effectively to the crisis on its own: the structure of the Haitian government, the country’s excessive centralization, and a lack of human resources.

In response to these issues, Bellerive called for increased co-ordination between governments, decentralization, and integration of the diaspora. All of the delegates agreed, however, that even though co-ordination is key, reconstruction efforts must always put Haitian sovereignty first.

“It’s important to see ourselves as partners with Haiti, not patrons,” said U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “That is not only the right thing to do, but given what we’ve learned over many years about development, it is the smart approach. We cannot anymore in the 21st century be making decisions for people and their futures without listening and without giving them an opportunity to make as many decisions as possible.”

In addition to sustainability, the delegates identified ownership, co-ordination, effectiveness, inclusiveness, and accountability as the main principles to focus on. Despite reports that the Haitian government had established a sum of $300 billion as the amount needed for reconstruction, Bellerive denied that any official estimate has been reached.

“The amount has not been finalized, but I will be receiving many reports from academics and other experts in the coming weeks,” he said. “There is still too much to assess to make any final estimates.”

French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner also emphasized the importance of patience in determining financial benchmarks.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I understand your impatience. I understand that of the Haitians … But we were already engaged in Haiti, some of us for more than 40 years. The United Nations has made immense progress. Security improved, as had governance … Their country was taking charge. And then, the earthquake,” he said. “It’s impossible to say with precision how much [money] we will need now. But we know there are needs in terms of health, education, construction, urbanization, and governance.”

The delegates also determined that they will meet again to continue discussion and planning at the United Nations headquarters in New York City sometime in March. Clinton explained that the upcoming conference will examine various historical examples of responses to natural disasters as models.

“There are some other examples that we will look to. One to mention is what happened after the tsunami, another large natural disaster – particularly how the government of Indonesia worked with the World Bank, the United Nations, and the executive committee of donor nations,” she said.

Clinton also explained that while these models can provide some positive examples, we can also learn from the mistakes that have characterized responses to previous disasters as well.

“We actually think it’s a novel idea to do the needs assessment first, and then the planning, and then the pledging. So it may seem different from what you’re used to,” she said. “I think we’re off to a cautiously optimistic start, given the extraordinary challenges we’re up against, but we’re going to work really hard to do this in a way that in the end people can look back and say they took their time, they did it right, they were as forcefully committed as it was possible.”

Cannon echoed Clinton’s sentiment, and said he was confident that the Montreal meeting had been a success.

“The United Nations is well placed, my colleague the Secretary of State Clinton, as well as the other partners, are all very well placed because in previous years gone by they have had quite a bit of experience in these kinds of disasters,” he said. “We have achieved what we set out to do today. We now have the beginnings of a roadmap towards Haiti’s long-term reconstruction.”

Sports

Where do sports come from? McGill University, it seems

In a little less than two weeks from now, football fans around the world will be glued to their television sets as Superbowl XLIV kicks off in south Florida. Before the football hangover has time to wear off completely, we’ll be turning our sights to the Canadian west coast, as the Olympic torch arrives in Vancouver to tip off the Winter Olympic games. Fast forward a week into March, and we’re smack dab in the middle of the NCAA basketball tournament. And as soon as the Madness comes to a halt, it’s time for the NHL and NBA playoffs! February, March, and April are without a doubt the most important and exciting months in the sporting year, and as all these momentous events approach, now is a good time to reflect on the extent to which McGill has helped shape three of the major sports we enjoy playing and watching today.

Gridiron genesis

The game of football is a relatively new sport that only developed its contemporary set of rules in the last 150 years. Football originated from the game of rugby, which was developed in England during the 19th century. The game was introduced to North America by British soldiers stationed in Canada, and it caught on quickly at Canadian universities.

In its earliest days, the rules of football were incredibly fluid, and varied from school to school. As each school practiced different versions of football, disagreements about how the game was played inevitably arose. In the United States, the few Northeastern schools that played football attempted to establish a universal set of rules for the game. Harvard, though, refused to play by the proposed set of rules, which disallowed carrying the ball. Unable to find competition in the United States, America’s top school looked north of the border for a suitable opponent.

The 1874 game between McGill and Harvard is considered the first game of modern football. The two teams were able to compromise on a set of rules which were soon adopted by other universities in the United States, and the game – which lasted a full two days – led to the birth of modern American football.

History on ice

In the early 1800’s, another sport was developed in Canada and came to fruition at McGill. The origins of this game came from an early version of lacrosse called dehuntshigwa’es, first played by the indigenous peoples of Nova Scotia. European settlers took a liking to the game, decided to play it on ice, and Canada’s national sport was born.

As ice hockey gained popularity, Montreal became the sport’s epicentre. On March 13, 1875, the first indoor hockey game was played in Montreal between two nine-player teams. Several of the participants were McGill students, who eventually teamed up to draft a set of rules for the sport and introduce the use of a puck rather than a ball. In 1877, the McGill University Hockey Club became the first organized ice hockey club in history.

The first hockey world championship tournament took place at the Montreal Winter Carnival in 1883, and the McGill squad came away victorious. Following the rise of hockey in Canada, the States and Europe soon adopted the game of hockey as well. Hockey was soon developed into a professional sport in the early 1900s, with the NHL appearing in 1917.

The real Dr. J

Perhaps McGill’s greatest claim to sporting invention, however, is the story of Dr. James Naismith. Naismith entered McGill in 1887, and lettered on the school’s football, soccer, and gymnastics teams. After graduation, Naismith returned to McGill as the school’s athletics director. In 1890, he moved to Springfield, Massachusetts to teach at the local YMCA. Due to the long winters in Springfield, Naismith worked to develop a game that could be played indoors year-round, yet necessitated the athletic aptitude and skill of outdoor sports such as football and lacrosse. One large ball and two elevated peach-baskets later, and Springfield was introduced to the game of basketball.

The first game of basketball was played in 1891 at Springfield College. Naismith later modified his original rules, incorporating backboards and allowing the use of a dribble to move the ball down the court.

Naismith would go on to coach basketball at the University of Kansas, and later became the school’s athletic director. Today, his name prefaces the basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, and is inscribed by the NCAA on the award given annually to the top player in college basketball.

So as we prepare for the best the sports year has to offer – by stocking up on beer and paying our cable bills in advance – let’s all take a moment to recognize and celebrate the part McGill has played in the development of modern sports.

Sports

SPORTS IN BRIEF: Redmen vanquish Lakers, reclaiming first place in OUA East

The McGill men’s hockey team scored four special-team markers on Sunday in a 5-3 win over Nipissing University at McConnell Arena.

The result snapped the Redmen’s two-game win streak and improved their record to 17-4-0, reclaiming first place in the OUA East, one point ahead of idle UQTR (16-3-1).

McGill freshman Christophe Longpre-Poirier of Longueuil, QC, scored the Redmen’s first goal, netting his fifth of the season – a shorthanded effort at 19:10 of the first period. It was the third time in OUA play that Longpre-Poirier had scored while killing off a penalty.

The Redmen penalty-killing unit registered a clean slate, erasing all six Lakers’ power play chances. McGill has snuffed out 110 of 124 shorthanded situations in regular-season play this season.

McGill now embarks on a four-game road trip, with games at Carleton, Concordia, and Ottawa.

Sports

Martlets dispatch Carabins in physical, rough-and-tumble affair

Typically a match-up between two nationally ranked hockey teams would all but ensure an exciting and hard-fought match. Nevertheless, the McGill women’s hockey team is far from ordinary. And on Friday, the Martlets further cemented their reputation as Canada’s best women’s hockey team, defeating 10th-ranked Montreal 3-0 at McConnell Arena.

Defenceman Stacie Tardif kicked off the scoring in the first period, firing home her second goal of the season. (Interestingly, Tardif’s first goal of the season – against the Carleton Ravens on October 31 – was scored in a similar fashion.)

“I was at the point, and the puck came back out,” said Tardif. “I took the puck across because I knew the goalie was going to have a tough time following me and I just fired the puck far post.”

Senior forward Amy Soberano and blueliner Jasmine Sheehan scored in the second period, rounding out the scoring in McGill’s record-setting 74th-straight win against CIS opponents.

Still, the Carabins fought hard, frustrating the high-powered Martlet offence all game long.

“I thought they did a really good job of containing us early, clogging up the middle and blocking a lot of our shots,” said Head Coach Amey Doyle. “We struggled to get some of our shots through as a result.”

Friday’s contest was also a physical affair – referee Melanie Bordeleau handed out seven penalties in the opening period. Four of those penalties, including one for body-checking, were issued to the visitors, who came out of the gates looking to send a strong message.

“It was a very physical affair, but that was to be expected,” said Tardif. “However, we have been getting mentally stronger and we responded well. We wanted it more. Right now it isn’t a matter of talent – it’s a matter of passion and the heart, and we have a lot of that.”

Despite the rough play, the Martlets still exhibited the skill and finesse that have made them the consensus number-one team in the country.

“I thought that the pace of the game was really good,” said Doyle. “The speed was there. Anytime it’s a speed game, I think it works to our advantage.”

Speed, skill, and scoring weren’t the only factors that played a part in McGill’s victory on Friday. The Martlets’ defence stymied the Montreal attack for 60 minutes, helping goaltender Andrea Weckman record her second shutout in three career starts. Tardif acknowledged that defending against the country’s best offence – in practice, day in and day out – is, in large part, why the Martlets’ blueline is so solid.

“We are always ready for [what] any offence throws against us,” she said.

Montreal came into the match with two of the top three scorers in the Quebec League: Kim Deschene and Marie-Andree Leclerc-Auger. Fellow winger Amanda Lalande was also on a four-game points streak – racking up 11 points in total. But these statistics had no bearing on what happened on the ice.

The Martlets will get some well-deserved rest as they take the next four days off before hitting the road for a two-game series away from home against the Carleton Ravens on January 30 and February 6.

Arts & Entertainment, Music

Bridges strikes sweet chords

Crazy Heart mixes country charm with a feel-good storyline that stands out from many of Jeff Bridges’ other performances (yes, even in the Coen brothers’ The Big Lebowski). As an unlikely and enchanting anti-hero, there is no doubt that Bridges is deserving of his recent Golden Globe win for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama. As an actor and musician himself, newbie director Scott Cooper has placed himself into “the one to watch” category, after writing and directing Crazy Heart with lush Southern storytelling.

While sipping cheap whiskey to ease his lonely journey on the road, Bridges portrays Bad Blake, a has-been country star with a fleeting gig lineup. After four divorces, ongoing alcoholism, and too many one-nighters, Blake has “never missed a show in his whole fucking life” and continues to howl his anguish at the world through his music. At a performance in a Santa Fe bar he meets Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a local newspaper reporter and eventual heart-mender. Although the relationship between Blake and Jean feels slightly awkward due to their age difference, Jean’s soft-spoken and alluring individuality supports Blake’s search for redemption and fittingly reveals his true, compassionate self. Gyllenhaal delivers a stellar performance as a single mother who’s had her fair share of hard times. Although some clichés are subtly slipped into the story, Gyllenhaal adds integrity despite Jean’s predictable ability to see through Blake’s rugged beard, open fly, and unruly appearance into his weary but crazy heart.

Cooper’s ability to round up a talented and genuine group of people to play refreshing roles sets this film apart. Special mention goes out to Colin Farrell as Tommy Sweet, the up-and-coming young country hunk who owes Blake everything for influencing him and guiding him to stardom. It’s interesting to see Farrell smoothly execute a role that seems, at least at first, beyond his capability. Robert Duvall is commendable as well, playing Blake’s best friend and confidant, as he provides both wisdom (in terms of smoking, drinking, and women, of course) and an extra Southern spice to the scene.

Parallel to Bridges’ acting performance is the late Stephen Bruton and T Bone Burnett’s solid line up of heart-filled songs representing the chords of Blake’s rocky road life. A few classic country songs are included in the film for those devoted country music fans, mixed in with original ballads. It is the memorable soundtrack of Crazy Heart that not only creates the foundation for Blake’s unforgettable character, but also stands alone from the plot, offering remarkable country tunes. “The Weary Kind,” the song that Blake eventually writes for Sweet (after a long hiatus from song-writing) is both original and passionate, and plays a momentous role in the story. Bridges adds an undeniably romantic element in his singing, leaving the viewer with a need to understand how a man so beaten up can be so brilliant. It must be the crazy heart.

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