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Arts & Entertainment, Theatre

TNC’s ‘Autobiography of Red’ is enchantingly poignant

Adapted by writer/director Phoebe Fregoli (a fourth-year Concordia student studying women’s studies and creative writing) from the Anne Carson novel-in-verse by the same name, Tuesday Night Café Theatre’s production of Autobiography of Red is a Greek myth transposed to mid-20th century rural southern Ontario.

According to ancient legend, the play’s protagonist, Geryon, is a fearsome monster with one body and three heads who is brutally killed by the divine hero Herakles. In Red, Geryon, played by musician and actor Mich Cota, is reimagined as an artsy, sensitive, teenage boy, burdened by a pair of red wings that he hides under his trench coat. He is moody but endearing and feels sorely misunderstood by almost everyone. He’s the kind of guy who’s always being interrupted in the middle of his contemplative inner monologues. His self-documentation becomes a recurring motif throughout the play. When we are first introduced to Geryon, his autobiography is a sculpture that he’s making out of things he finds around the house.

Geryon lives with his naïve but well-intentioned mother (Annah-Lauren Bloom) along with his cruel and tactless big brother (Connor Miles, Year 2 Building Engineering at Concordia University), Geryon first meets Herakles, played by Stephen Lawrence (in his final year of a Communications Masters at Concordia), at a bus stop and falls deeply in love with him. Learning about photography from Herakles, Geryon decides his autobiography will instead become a photographic essay, excerpts of which are projected onstage throughout the play. Years after Herakles breaks Geryon’s heart for the first time, the two men reunite in Argentina and Geryon finds himself the unwitting third member of a tempestuous love triangle made up of himself, Herakles and Herakles’ sexy Peruvian boyfriend, Ancash, played by José Carmago.

Driven by language and emotion rather than plot, Geryon’s story unfolds slowly and carefully. In place of sensationalism and theatrics, Red has a placid, introspective quality that allows the viewer to absorb the play in all of its complexity. Both the setting (Terrance Richard) and costuming (Ali Hendra) are muted yet elegant, their simplicity only serving to make Geryon stand out, rendering his character all the more otherworldly. His red wings punctuate the otherwise neutral-coloured and prim dress of the characters around him. Despite the second half of the story taking place in Argentina, the set maintains its campy, small town aesthetic, with vintage memorabilia cluttering any available surface.

Apart from the set, Fregoli uses other visual components to play up the magical-realist elements of the story. In one scene, a drunk Geryon is passed out face first on a table in a hole-in-the-wall Argentinian café while a velvet-clad flamenco dancer tangoes seductively around the dimly lit stage. The dancer, of unknown name and gender, then proceeds to speak with Geryon once he awakes about a school trip he once took to an aquarium where he saw a tank full of beluga whales and how guilty they made him feel. Whether the dancer is real or imagined is unclear, but, in Red’s juxtaposition of Greek myth with southern Ontario environs, it feels entirely beside the point.

Although each actor delivered an even and moving performance, Cota was the undeniable standout of the show. Cota brought to life a winged red monster who speaks only in poetry in an entirely believable and human way. Geryon’s character is loveable and complicated—heartbreaking and hilarious all at once. Although his grandiose monologues almost always contain some flowery musing about the ocean or the stars, and he speaks at length about his love of German Stoicism and other such pretentious subjects, it is difficult not to be completely enthralled by whatever Geryon happens to be saying, so absorbing is Cota’s portrayal of him.

Autobiography of Red is the story of a soulful Greek monster who grew up somewhere between Hades and the Kawartha Lakes. It is a strange and intricate tale of love, trauma, and the peculiarity of growing up. Geryon’s story will undoubtedly worm its way into the audience’s hearts, and stick around for days after leaving the theatre.

TNC’s Autobiography of Red is playing from Feb. 28 – March 3 at 8 p.m. in Morrice Hall in the Islamic Studies Building, 3485 Rue McTavish. Tickets are $6 for students and $10 general admission.

 

Album Reviews, Arts & Entertainment

Album review: Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) – Car Seat Headrest

Before 2016’s brilliant Teens of Denial cemented his status as one of contemporary music’s most fascinating figures, Will Toledo spent years recording songs on his personal computer, uploading new records on Bandcamp under his Car Seat Headrest moniker at a frequency matched only by Lil B. For his 11th record, the 25-year old decided to return to his lo-fi roots and rework his first great release with the major label production value it deserves.

Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) is a re-recording of Toledo’s cult classic Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror) (2011). The album is loosely conceptual, focusing on the singer/songwriter’s borderline-obsessive relationship cycle with an unnamed young man. It is about first love, first break-up, coming out, depression, and the potentially fatal consequences of smoking. The themes are heavy, but offset this by using the same off-kilter humour that has made Toledo one of the great lyricists of the genre. From the lyrics on “Beach Life-in-Death:” “I pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends/I never came out to my friends,” to  when he sings “I got so fucking romantic/I apologize,” on “Cute Thing” or  “Stop smoking/We love you/And we don’t want you to die,” on “Stop Smoking,” Toledo communicates bleak truths under blunt verses.

If (Mirror to Mirror)’s genius was buried under the album’s lo-fi production, (Face to Face)’s is unmistakable. Now signed with Matador and supported by a band, Toledo takes full advantage of the larger budget and studio time. Vocal and guitar harmonies are omnipresent, the sound is light-years cleaner, and the dance-y drum patterns are startlingly original on a rock album.

Lyrics have been switched here and there, and the climatic “Famous Prophets (Stars)” now culminates in six minutes of gorgeous piano melodies and vocal collage. Otherwise, the record is quite faithful to the original. This slight conservatism sometimes bogs it down:  “Nervous Young Inhuman’s” spoken word outro has little to no replay value, and the first 10 minutes of “Famous Prophets (Stars)”  drag on. Yet, in revisiting their back-catalog, Car Seat Headrest confirms their status as indie-rock’s next big thing and hints at their bright future.

 

Editorial, Opinion

Inclusive hiring requires more than a quota

Dalhousie University has recently come under fire for limiting its search for a new vice-provost student affairs to “racially visible persons and Aboriginal peoples,” in an effort to boost minority faculty representation. Critics have condemned the policy as discriminatory against white people, and argue that hiring based on race, rather than merit, is misguided. While Dalhousie’s blunt approach to race-based hiring raises some issues, such as the multitude of identities encompassed within the definition of “racially visible,” the Halifax university’s transparent approach to representative hiring is worth considering. McGill should take a cue from Dalhousie, not just in prioritizing faculty representativeness but in communicating these initiatives—and their progress—to its student body and staff.

Hiring tactics such as Dalhousie’s are implemented in an attempt to undo a longstanding legacy of white privilege in Canada. Affirmative action is not actually intended to be progressive—it’s remedial. According to Dalhousie’s 2016 census, only 11 per cent of employees identified as “racially visible,” and a mere 1.9 per cent were Indigenous. Affirmative action policies like Dalhousie’s are not designed to hurt white people. Rather, they acknowledge the systemic barriers that Indigenous peoples and racial minorities continue to face.

Dalhousie’s policy poses some issues worth addressing. First and foremost is the vague definition of “racially visible,” which collapses a multiplicity of races and lived experiences into one category. Furthermore, the histories and experiences of Indigenous peoples and racial minorities who have settled in Canada are distinct from one another, and each perspective deserves recognition in its own right. Dalhousie must unpack blanket minority identities, and ensure that a diverse set of individual experiences are represented beyond the white/non-white binary. The self-serving PR aspect of such a highly-publicized gesture also warrants skepticism.

Still, one positive aspect of Dalhousie’s transparently affirmative action-oriented policy is that its message is clear: Diversity and representation are on Dalhousie’s radar, and the university is implementing concrete steps to achieve these goals. In October 2016, McGill published a report on systemic discrimination among its faculty. The report outlined some worthwhile recommendations to achieving greater diversity and eliminating sexism and racism from the workplace. These included hiring “with particular attention to historically underrepresented groups,” and creating a senior administrator position “with a mandate to promote diversity and inclusiveness.” McGill’s report is a significant step toward improving faculty representation, since it acknowledges discrimination and outlines clear steps for solving it. However, there has been no progress update since on how the recommendations are being implemented.

Another legitimate concern with race-based hiring is that the chosen hire, no matter how qualified, may be tokenized, or seen as less competent and assumed to have been hired only on the basis of their race, rather than their qualifications. Beyond filling quotas or appearing diverse, it is important for university faculty and administration to represent the vast collection of identities within Canada and Indigenous identities. It will take much more than one targeted job posting to achieve this.

The conversation around increasing minority representation and combatting discrimination at McGill is a vital one that must continue.

Diversifying academic leadership is essential. It is crucial for minority students to see themselves reflected in senior positions, otherwise, talented young people may be hesitant to pursue a certain career in an environment that seems unwelcoming. Increased minority representation benefits the entire student body, since it promises an education that incorporates multiple perspectives, rather than playing into typical university echo chambers reinforced by a homogenous, primarily white, male faculty.

The conversation around increasing minority representation and combatting discrimination at McGill is a vital one that must continue. McGill shouldn’t merely follow Dalhousie’s lead, it should go even further, and implement the systemic changes needed to alter a system built to privilege white people. This is a multi-faceted, long-term goal: Apart from hiring practices, building and maintaining a representative faculty also means ensuring inclusivity among masters and PhD candidates, and fostering widely-accessible opportunities from the undergraduate level. McGill’s report from 2016 outlines some viable paths to start achieving these goals—but the University needs to better communicate what it’s doing to implement these recommendations, and to make sure that the conversation on minority representation is ongoing. Moreover, students themselves must look at how they help—or hinder—representative spaces on campus, through inclusive hiring in student groups and clubs, but also through their day-to-day interactions.

Throughout Canada’s existence, white people have prospered at the expense of Indigenous peoples and people of colour. Prioritizing minority-based hiring is necessary to ensure that our university faculties are representative of Canada’s demographic makeup. There’s a whole lot of merit in that.

Science & Technology

SpaceX blasts through expectations

February kicked off with a blast as private aerospace company SpaceX sent its most technologically advanced rocket, the Falcon Heavy, out into space on Feb. 6. This was a momentous occasion for anyone with dreams beyond our atmosphere, as the Falcon Heavy can reportedly carry a record 64 tonnes into orbit at one-third of the price of the next best vehicle. SpaceX founder and CEO Elon Musk has applied his business expertise to his most recent venture by minimizing costs, maximizing payloads, and publicizing bold marketing stunts.

The development of the Falcon Heavy is an example of entrepreneurs using the incrementalism of space travel to their advantage. SpaceX’s earlier, smaller Falcon 9 modelwhich has completed 47 successful launches—might not be as exciting, but its flights were crucial for testing reusable boosters.

“The concept of flying back and re-using the first stage had been around for a long, long time,” Andrew Higgins, associate professor in the Department of Mechanical Engineering, said in an interview with The McGill Tribune. “What SpaceX did that was a real game changer was to attempt it on commercial launches that were already paid for so they could learn and improve on subsequent flights, until they nailed the landing every time.”

The Falcon 9 operates by leaving enough fuel in its first stage to safely fly back to a launch platform. Business Insider estimates that about half the costs of each $62 million Falcon 9 flight can be recovered by having its components land in reusable conditions. Forbes is skeptical of how much money this technique actually saves, but supplants that with the prediction that reusable technology will be integral in Musk’s plans to colonize Mars.

“Previously, rockets had been designed from scratch to meet the specification of a mission,” Anthony Ubah, avionics lead of the McGill Rocket Team, wrote in a message to the Tribune. “What SpaceX has done is different. Rather than develop a new rocket from scratch to meet performance specifications required in heavy lift and/or higher Earth orbits, they’ve taken a flight proven rocket design, modified it, and strapped three of them together.”

Combining three Falcon 9 rockets  saves the expenses incurred by having to create a new, larger spacecraft. This leaves the Falcon Heavy with a staggering 27 engines. Launches cost $90 million, with an estimated $40 million in savings per launch, according to Business Insider, thanks to reusable boosters.

“Just like we combine inexpensive, mass-produced computers to make supercomputers, SpaceX is taking the same approach with rocket engines,” Higgins said. “The Russians tried something like this with the N1, a giant rocket with 30 engines that was key to their moon program in the 1960s. The N1 blew up every time it was launched, however, and aerospace engineers became skeptical it was possible to combine that many engines together and control them, but SpaceX has shown it can be done.”

The larger payloads made possible by the 27 engines will have sizeable effects on astronomical activity. Falcon Heavy’s is most powerful rocket currently in use, until NASA’s Space Launch System program is operational with a 70-tonne payload around December 2019.

“The Falcon Heavy is comparable in payload to NASA’s Space Launch System, which has been under development to launch astronauts on deep space missions but is running far behind schedule,” Higgins said. “For the time being, Falcon Heavy will be used to launch big communication satellites into orbit 40,000 kilometres above Earth, which is the market where the big money is for now, and not astronauts.”

Despite these successes, SpaceX is not content to rest on its laurels and is already planning its next model: The Big Falcon Rocket will be designed to carry up to 150 tonnes. One of SpaceX’s primary rivals, United Launch Alliance, has unveiled plans to develop its own reusable rocket, claiming their model will reduce costs from $350 to less than $100 million per launch. Meanwhile, NASA’s outmatched Space Launch System may also find new wings, with some suggesting that it be repurposed for military applications.

Above all, the publicity surrounding this launch will revitalize the space industry. The sheer gall of launching Musk’s Tesla Roadster into space on Feb. 8, equipped with a dummy dubbed “Starman” and Ziggy Stardust on loop, is ideally representative of the extraterrestrial adventures we can look forward to.

 

Student Life

A day in the life of a car commuter at McGill: The perils of parking, tickets, and traffic

A walk through the Milton-Parc neighbourhood during the morning rush to class comes with countless stressors. When pushing past droves of slow walkers and dodging traffic on University Street, it can feel like the entire student body is travelling by foot, and they’re all in your way. However, according to a 2011 McGill Transportation Survey, 17 per cent of students travel to campus by car during the winter. And for them, commuting comes with a whole new set of challenges.

Melissa Paris St-Amour, U3 Environment, is no stranger to this reality. During the 2016-17 school year, she often drove her car between her home, downtown, and the MacDonald campus. St-Amour frequently faced many issues when driving to school, including navigating downtown traffic and hunting for street parking. Despite these difficulties, taking her car was often more convenient than traveling via public transit, with the closest metro station to her home being a 20-minute bus ride away.

“I used to take my car a lot, but [now] with all the construction, it’s almost impossible,” St-Amour said. “The traffic is insane. You never know which streets are blocked […and] it’s very slippery.”

Though convenient for students living in areas with limited public transit, driving in Montreal is no easy feat. Traffic conditions during rush hour can be hectic, and the roads can be downright dangerous in the wintertime. After moving to Laval, and closer to a metro station, St-Amour has stopped driving her car to school altogether.

“[Now], the nearest metro [station from my house] is Montmorency [in] Laval,” St-Amour said. “I prefer taking the metro, [as] it would take me about the same time [.…] It’s about 45 minutes [by metro], and 40 minutes with my car, but I have to [park and] pay for parking.”

Athar Qureshi, U3 Engineering, also commutes to school by car from time to time when he’s not biking or busing from his home in the Plateau. While he prefers biking to school, Qureshi drives if he needs to go somewhere else during the day. However, doing so comes with a large price.

“I live in the Mile End so, for me, it’s easy to commute to school,” Qureshi said. “I [mostly] bike because it’s faster than taking the bus […] I [also] pay $125 a month for two [parking] spots [in the Milton-Parc neighbourhood].”

Parking is another issue McGill students must take into consideration when deciding to drive to school. Getting a parking permit for one of McGill’s parking lots by McIntyre, Bronfman, Burnside, Education, and Sherbrooke 680 buildings are competitive for both students and staff. Permits are only issued to those who satisfy certain criteria, including those who live in an area where public transit is limited, are pregnant, or require parking due to extenuating circumstances. And, though Qureshi’s monthly fee seems steep, McGill parking lots are even higher. For students, permits add up to $571 per semester, or $200 per month.

In order to bypass these costs, commuters like Qureshi and St-Amour have to park off campus instead, meaning they need to get downtown earlier than the average student.

“[Students] who normally drive to school park in the ghetto,” Qureshi said. “[Spots start filling up] from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m., depending on where your classes are. If you’re parking in the ghetto, there’s free parking on the edge of every street.”

Students unwilling to compete with others for an off-campus parking spot or pay for expensive parking passes may consider alternative means.

“Lots of students I know that occasionally drive in will park their cars illegally in McGill parking lots,” Qureshi said. “McGill parking will give them citations but no actual fine. But every once in awhile the city cops come [and give] you a ticket. A lot of people will play this gamble. I myself have done that in the past and eventually I got a ticket, so I stopped.”

From hefty fines to long traffic lines, driving to school is a burdensome process that leaves many students wondering what their other travel options are.

“I don’t think commuting [by car] is ideal,” Qureshi said. “It can [take a lot of time] and parking can be competitive [….] But I don’t [really] have a choice.”

Basketball, Martlets, Men's Varsity, Sports

McGill basketball season review

The Martlet and Redmen basketball teams ended regular season play on Feb. 24, as they each took down the Université du Québec à Montréal Citadins. The women pulled out a close 59-51 victory, while the men clipped the Citadins 74-57 in back-to-back games. The Martlets enter the playoffs as defending National Champions, but with an 11-5 conference record, they’re ranked only sixth in the nation this season. The men hold a commanding 14-2 conference record and RSEQ regular season pennant, which likewise places them in sixth nationally.

Martlet Basketball

(Selwynne Hawkins / The McGill Tribune)

The Martlets began the 2017-18 regular season with their sights set on defending their national title, but a tough loss in a championship rematch against Laval in the season opener foreshadowed the trials facing the Martlets en route to their goal. For Head Coach Ryan Thorne’s team, replicating last season’s success was all about finding balance and leaning on rookie talents like Charlotte Clayton, Maggy Chabot, and Kamsi Ogbudibe.

“Our young players have really come in and contributed,” Thorne said. “You might not see it show up on a stats sheet, but it’s that breather they give to the veterans [….Contributing] here and there […] really helps us out.”

The regular season ended with a few difficult results, however, as the Martlets dropped three of their final five games—including two tough away losses to first-place Laval. Thorne remains confident in his team and trusts their ability to move past the shortcomings of the regular season.

“We’ve just got to be focused on playing our game and not ghosts of [this season] and just be confident in what we do,” Thorne said.

The Martlets will take on the Bishop’s Gaiters in the RSEQ semi-finals on Feb. 28. McGill has taken their last two matchups against Bishop’s, and another win in the semifinal round will earn them a spot in the provincial final on March 3.

 

Redmen Basketball

The Redmen had a consistent, exceptionally successful season. With a deep rotation, the Redmen thrived by maintaining their high-tempo style of play on both ends of the court.

“We have the deepest bench in the league,” Head Coach David Deaveiro wrote in an email to The McGill Tribune. “There is no drop off when

(Selwynne Hawkins / The McGill Tribune)

we go to the bench, and expectations remain the same whoever is on the floor.”

 

The Redmen finished the season on a seven-game winning streak, which was in large part due to the transcendent play of fourth-year point-guard Alex Paquin.

“[Learning to utilize Paquin] might have been the most influential moment for us this year,” DeAveiro wrote. “[Paquin] has added a dimension on offence that we have never had.”

More important than any individual contribution, however, was the team’s collective work throughout the season. The Redmen’s consistency helped them secure a 14-2 record, placing them six points ahead of second-place rivals, the Concordia Stingers.

“[The team’s] commitment to change, the daily grind mentally, and their unselfishness […] is the recipe for our success,” DeAveiro wrote.

For DeAveiro’s squad, the first goal was to capture the regular season title. Ranked sixth in the nation, they’ve now shifted their sights toward winning the RSEQ championship banner. As with the Martlets, this task begins Feb. 28 against Bishop’s, a team the Redmen beat in three of their four contests this season. If they’re successful, they will tip-off against the winner of the Laval-UQAM semifinal on March 3.

Student Life

How to avoid being the most hated person at the gym

Making the trek to the McGill gym is a pain: From finding the time and motivation to get out the door to walking up the vicious hill in icy weather, just getting there can feel like the hardest part. But, once there, dodging the strange cast of characters at the fitness centre presents its own unique challenge. You know who I’m talking about—the girl hogging the Stairmaster for over 30 minutes when there is clearly a line for the machine, or the guy who leaves behind a pool of his own sweat at a rowing machine and “forgets” to wipe it away. To make things easier for gym aficionados and novices alike, The McGill Tribune has compiled a list of ways to avoid running into or becoming one of these people.

1- Bring a towel

Although the purpose of this step seems self-explanatory, it is overlooked and ignored by most gym-goers. Not only is bringing a towel into the fitness area in fact compulsory, but having one nearby benefits yourself and others. For starters, towels are essential for cleaning your face and body from sweat after a particularly intense workout, and, when dampened with cold water, can help you cool down. What’s more, the people around you will appreciate not being assaulted by your sweat droplets.  

 

2- Clean the exercise machines and gym mats after use

You do not have to be exceedingly intuitive to figure out where I am going with this. Exercising leads to sweating, and sweating leads to germs. To prevent germs from spreading through equipment, please wipe down every mat and machine that you’ve used once your workout is done. There are many towels and bottles of antibacterial soap located around the fitness centre for this very purpose, so if you skip this step, you are honestly just being rude.

 

3- Do not be a hogger

During busy hours at the gym, it is inevitable that popular machines will draw a queue. To avoid frustrating other gym-goers, be conscious of how much time you spend on a machine that is regularly occupied, especially when you see people lurking nearby waiting to use it after you. The same applies to mats and floor space when stretching. Be aware of how much space you take up and try not to hog more than one yoga mat at a time—you can always do your star poses or your one-man kickboxing routine at home—and avoid scattering your personal belongings around the gym floor.

 

4- Be conscious of others

Nobody likes reverberating floors. They jolt people out of focus, and this can be hard to regain. To quell murderous thoughts from other gymers practicing relaxed stretches or concentrating on their reps, take note of the way you discard your weights. Please refrain from dropping heavy weights noisily on the ground; rather, place them gently on the floor once you’re done with them. Don’t worry, others will still know you’re a strong gym-bro even if you don’t chuck your weights onto the floor after each set. And for the love of the gym, please put the weights back on the rack where you found them.

Commentary, Opinion

Ontario government: Local research models matter, too

Ontario universities are currently working with the provincial government to create and fulfill Strategic Mandate Agreements, the goals of which are to “[build] on current strengths and to help drive system-wide objectives and government priorities.” Part of this process is evaluating a university’s research using bibliometrics—the quantitative analysis of journal articles. Bibliometric data collection is made possible by sophisticated computational algorithms. The specific metrics used in this case are based on the number of papers published and number of citations.

This is an alarming change: Although such methods of evaluation are not unusual, the Strategic Mandate Agreements officialize them and, during the project’s third phase, will tie them to funding. It is dangerous to base research funding on a metric that prioritizes volume of publishing over all else. In fact, such a decision is exclusionary of alternative research models, such as local, community-based, and Indigenous research, which are crucial for creating a multiplicity of academic narratives and sustaining engagement between local contexts and institutions.

Academic research does not exist in a bubble. The Strategic Mandate Agreements leave no room for local, community-based research, which tends to have other goals besides academic publishing and may be conducted in languages other than English. One-size-fits-all research metrics have no place in Canada, where the dominant narratives of academic research sit uneasily beside local models. Publishing is only one end goal, albeit the most visible and glamorous. Researchers should be encouraged to look outside the limited scope of the traditional academic world, and perform research that benefits local communities. In turn, government funds should be allotted to alternative forms of research with priorities other than publishing, for example, providing research services to institutions such as health clinics and information centres in disenfranchised communities.

Publishing is only one end goal, albeit the most visible and glamorous. Researchers should be encouraged to look outside the limited scope of the traditional academic world, and perform research that benefits local communities.

Although the agreements are Ontario-exclusive, if their research evaluation metrics become a Canadian norm, the results might be unfortunate for researchers in Quebec, too—especially those engaging in community-based research. The community-based model is action-driven, emphasizing communication in local contexts. In contrast, publishing-focused bibliometrics, like those of the agreements, tend to prioritize “high impact” English-language journals at the cost of local research. This leaves little space for bilingual fields, such as Quebec studies, or even community-based research conducted with immigrant communities. Local, community-based programs often face unique barriers at research universities—the tenuous existence of the Quebec Studies program at McGill is but one example. To normalize metrics that neglect these programs is to create an institutional bias against local research, which is necessary to strengthen the relationship between the academic institution and the surrounding community.

Indigenous research is another model that, while vital in Canada, might be further marginalized by publishing-based metrics. The Indigenous model often conducts research based on conversation, story, and care. This is not analogous with the Western scientific method, but it is an equally vital alternative narrative. To encode an academic system that devalues Indigenous research methods shuts Indigenous paradigms of learning, data, and history out of universities.

Ontario’s Strategic Mandate Agreements represent a choice to prioritize traditional research and academic publishing, despite the fact that it is now easier than ever to evaluate alternative research. Canadian institutions would do better to create methods for qualifying alternative forms of research, and legitimize a multiplicity of academic narratives. Only then can Canadian academia move toward a paradigm of inclusion and diversity rather than homogeneity.

Laughing Matters, Off the Board, Opinion

Hey! You should come see my band tonight

You’re at Café Santropol on a Sunday afternoon. Visibly focused on your work, headphones in, you become aware of a turtlenecked, tiny-hatted, vaguely stinky entity behind you. He won’t tap your shoulder, but as seconds stretch into minutes, you begin to turn your head, not quite toying with the idea of removing a headphone—

Hey! It was really nice seeing you at the show the other night. I wasn’t actually planning on going, but a guy I know works for the promoters and got me on the guestlist. It was pretty tight, we did shots with the guitar player before his set. He was making out with this drunk fan, which was kinda weird, but he was actually such a straight up funny dude with us. They’re rolling out of town today, but he said if anything gets delayed, he’d definitely consider pulling through tonight.

Wait, damn, did I not invite you? My bad! We’re doing a set tonight. You should come! It’s me and two of the guys. I do synths, guitar, and sometimes sing. We’ve got kind of a garage-y sound, but there’s a lot of psych and electronic influences that really come through. Do you play any instruments?

Chill. Yeah I guess our biggest influences have gotta be Neutral Milk Hotel (cliché, I know), The Brian Jonestown Massacre, and The Soft Boys. A lot of people just know “Underwater Moonlight” by them, if they’ve heard of them at all, which is too bad. You’ll definitely be able to pick out The Soft Boys in our set. Sorry, totally don’t mean to be mansplaining our influences. Some of our songs are pretty out there, I just like to give context. I’m not one of those guys, though, don’t worry. It’s honestly whack how the patriarchy lets some men systematically exploit women’s emotional labour. Anyway, do you like music?

Tight. Yeah, Lorde is OK but it’s mostly Jack Antonoff doing the work, so just like, credit where credit is due, you know? I don’t really mess with his Bleachers stuff but some of his work with St. Vincent is actually super innovative. Have you heard St. Vincent?

Wait, sorry to interrupt, but could I bum one of those? I’ve been trying to quit for forever but I always get nervous the day of a show. I have a lot of anxiety that people don’t really see.

Anyways, yeah, St. Vincent really inspired me to play guitar. A lot of people don’t think girls can play guitar, but she’s 10 times the guitarist Jack White is. We’re playing an experimental cover of one of her songs tonight. You’ve gotta come, you’d love it. I think The White Stripes are so overrated. My dad loves them. He gave me a lot of shit growing up. I never really got into the sports that my brothers were into. I was too busy digging through record crates to ever really get involved in all that toxic masculine crap. Kids at school used to beat me up and call me gay. No, no I’m not gay! Haha, just because of the music and stuff. You’re not, right?

I just don’t really do monogamy, you know? It’s so grounded in heteronormative patriarchy, it gives me anxiety. Do you have any ex-boyfriends?

Diversity is so important. POCs are everything. I think it was Bukowski who said, “It is not our differences who define us,” and that’s a philosophy that underlies a lot of what my band’s all about. Are you and your dad close?

Yeah I feel that. Relationships are tough. Self-care is everything. My ex-girlfriend and I just broke things off pretty recently. Do you ever model, by the way? I just bought a new roll of 35mm, I’d love to shoot you sometime. I hope somebody brings beers tonight. A lot of the songs we’ll be playing are actually about my ex.

Have you seen Her? Spike Jonze is an auteur. I drink so much sometimes that there are whole weeks I don’t remember. Could I bum another one of those? I process a lot of my anxiety through songwriting. Infinite Jest changed me, but I actually think Pynchon is way more relevant for right now. Sometimes I cry so hard it feels like I’m going to run out of tears. Death Grips are so overrated, my ex never got that. I just don’t really do monogamy, you know? It’s so grounded in heteronormative patriarchy, it gives me anxiety. Do you have any ex-boyfriends?

Wait, sorry, I’ve gotta run to soundcheck. The show’s way up at my place near Jarry, you can catch the 80. It was so good seeing you again! What’s your number? I’ll send you the address. I might be able to get you guestlist, but it’s $5/PWYC anyways, so no big deal. Bring your friends. Could I possibly bum one more of those, for the road? I’ll get you back at the show.

Sports

Highlights from the 2018 MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference

In the Boston Convention and Exhibition Center with only four hours of sleep to my name, I wasn’t optimistic about what I saw on the morning of Feb. 23. The 2018 MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference (SSAC) wouldn’t begin for another 30 minutes, but M.B.A. candidates, predominantly from institutions like MIT and Northwestern University, and leading sports executives alike wasted no time settling in. In a half-full walkway, I passed by countless sports technology booths, plenty of old business partners reconnecting, and the conference’s first job interview—of many.

I gathered my bearings and proceeded to the third floor to secure priority seating for the grand opening in the Bill James room, where seated attendees continued to chat about job openings and summer internships. The abundance of suits and business card exchanges made me anxious—I came for a sports conference, not a job fair. However, once the event officially commenced with a hilarious new installment of Bleacher Report’s “Game of Zones,” I rejoiced in learning the event was, indeed, for me.

What followed was a choose-your-own-adventure-style journey through a sports nerd’s wonderland. At any given time, a conference-goer could choose between attending one of a handful of panels, walking through the “trade show,” browsing research paper competition finalists, or rubbing shoulders with prominent sports executives, media personalities, and athletes.

Panels catering to both sports and business managers filled the conference’s two-day schedule. Topics ranged from social media to player advocacy to eSports analytics, and A-listers from the sporting world filled the slate for each talk. Even Barack Obama was announced to speak at the conference—but that’s all that media and attendees like myself are allowed to say about the mysterious post-lunch panel on that Friday.

The trade show featured booths from a wide range of organizations. FiveThirtyEight and ESPN Stats and Info brought representatives to speak about their platforms and services. Outside upstarts like edjSports and LBi Dynasty sent tablers, but I didn’t get a chance to ask how they came up with their names. There was even a PS4 set up with a virtual reality Home Run Derby game demo—in case conference-goers were looking to build up confidence for an upcoming interview by mashing some homers.

Outside the Bill James room, finalists in the SSAC research paper competition assembled abbreviated presentations on poster boards. If you squinted, the gallery looked like a high school science fair held in a grand ballroom with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking downtown Boston. But, despite the amusing spectacle, I can assure you that trying to understand how Voronoi tessellations are used to create weighted heat maps in soccer matches is a great way to keep your intellectual ego in check.

Throughout the event, you couldn’t help but notice SSAC’s sheer star-power. The corridor was consistently littered with industry giants mingling with one another after panel appearances, flanked by colleagues who still attend the conference for mere enjoyment. That Friday, I got off an escalator behind ESPN’s Mina Kimes to walk past fellow ESPN writer Kevin Arnovitz and former Philadelphia 76ers GM Sam Hinkie. The next day, I watched an amalgamation of NBA icons in Arnovitz, Shane Battier, and Jalen Rose cross the same 10-foot area within 15 seconds while taking my lunch break.

All things considered, the conference’s best feature was this sudden immersion into a world of sports figures, big and small. I got to speak with the smartest writers in sports—some of whom I’ve followed for years—while strolling between events. Then I watched normally-anonymous executives reveal that they are far more than some collective, robotic decision machine. I welcomed the revelation that bosses like SSAC co-founder Jessica Gelman, Boston Celtics Assistant GM Mike Zarren, and Houston Rockets Executive Vice President Gersson Rosas had genuinely charming personalities—these are some people I can get behind.

At the end of the day, spectator sports boil down to fandom—whether for teams, individual athletes, or otherwise. That weekend, I stumbled into discovering my fandom for Gelman, Zarren, Rosas, and many more. Developing a loyalty to sports figures who wear jeans, sweats, or suits at game-time instead of a uniform probably takes sports nerd-dom to its logical end—but is perfectly fitting for an event that Ringer CEO Bill Simmons once dubbed “Dorkapalooza.”

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