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Arts & Entertainment

Can you “adjust” your fate?

Despite the saying “You can’t  judge a book by its cover,” it is still possible to tell something about a movie from its poster. The poster for George Nolfi’s directorial debut, The Adjustment Bureau features a woman in a red dress holding on to the hand of man in a suit running away from towering shadows of men in hats, creating a Hitchcockian vibe that gave some hope that this was going to be a film noir romantic sci-fi thriller. Unfortunately, appearances can be deceiving.  

The Adjustment Bureau is the latest film based on the works of science fiction wizard Philip K. Dick, best known for his stories that fashioned film heavyweights, Blade Runner and Minority Report. Nolfi was a screenwriter for films such as Ocean’s Twelve and The Borne Ultimatum, but his latest project falls flat. The Adjustment Bureau’s narrative is excruciatingly slow and fails to go anywhere.  

Matt Damon stars as smiley-faced New York politician David Norris who is the favourite to win a seat in the United States Senate. However, when his bad boy past catches up to him, he drops behind in the polls and loses the race. David runs into the men’s bathroom to practice his “comeback” speech when he bumps into Elise, played by Emily Blunt. Sparks immediately fly, and they kiss. After the encounter, David gives the speech of his life.  

After a couple of months, David starts a new job at a law firm and runs into Elise again and gets her phone number, this time on the bus.However, when he gets into work he sees that things are not normal. David suddenly finds a group of men in 1950s-style outfits doing strange psychological tricks to his unwitting speechwriter’s head. He tries to escape from the group, called the G-Men, but the men catch up and quickly capture him.  

These G-Men are led by Richardson, played by Mad Men’s John Slattery. Richardson explains that they are employees of the “Adjustment Bureau,” set to carry out plans determined by the mysterious “Chairman.” He tells David not to tell anyone what he has seen, otherwise they will “reset” his brain. David must fight the agents of fate in order to save his life and be with Elise, whom the G-Men have forbade from seeing him.  

The main problem with the film is that it only scratches the surface of the philosophical musings it attempts to impose on its audience. Do we have free will or is it something we have to fight for? Is there a higher force that determines the path of our lives? In thie film, Nolfi seems unable to answer his own questions. And when we think we are about to see something interesting, like David’s and Elise’s plan to find the Chairman, Nolfi instead provides a dry explanation and a tasteless ending before we are allowed to reflect on the situation.

However dull the narrative, Damon reminds us that he can play more than just brooding action heroes. Blunt plays a stereotypical free-willed spunky woman. Her performance fizzles, however, in a secondary role without great dialogue.

So, is The Adjustment Bureau science fiction or romance?  It’s neither. It turns out that Nolfi’s mind-puzzle is no puzzle at all and can be chalked up to a lacklustre story with only two interesting chase scenes that might provoke a few seconds of thrill.

Arts & Entertainment

He’s just a small town boy, living in a lonely world

keepthisthought.blogspot.com

In Cedar Rapids, Tim Lippe (Ed Helms), a small town insurance salesman with a heart of gold, is the picture of Midwestern naiveté—a man, as his boss says, who was going places and then never did. He’s never flown on a plane before, doesn’t drink, and wears a sweater vest over a turtleneck when he goes out at night. So when his boss sends him to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, for a regional insurance convention, it’s a monumental challenge.

This premise, of course, is pretty familiar. As most viewers will probably guess, Lippe faces temptations in the big city and returns home triumphant. But Miguel Arteta, the film’s director, keeps Cedar Rapids quirky enough to make it somehow seem fresh. Lippe carries butterscotch candies around in his pocket, but he’s also sleeping with his recently divorced grade-school teacher (Sigourney Weaver, in a marvelous bit of casting). He’s only sent to the conference when the co-worker who’s supposed to go, a closeted sexual deviant, accidentally strangles himself with a belt.

Cedar Rapids is Ed Helms’s first leading role, and he holds the slightly screwball comedy together. Like Owen Wilson and Hugh Grant, Ed Helms tends to play variations of Ed Helms no matter the role; his character in Cedar Rapids echoes his roles in The Hangover and on The Office. As Lippe, though, Helms takes his willfully innocent demeanor to a new level. His lines—”I’ll dream of you in my heart,” he tells Weaver’s character on the phone—are painfully earnest, but he manages to pull them off.

Upon arriving in Cedar Rapids, Lippe befriends three conference veterans, and the character actors who portray them make the movie worth seeing. John C. Reilly plays Dean Ziegler—”Deansie,” as he prefers to be called—a boorish drunkard ostracized by the conference’s Bible-thumping leadership. Isiah Whitlock Jr. backs him up as Ronald Wilkes (“The Ronimal”), a mild-mannered Black insurance salesman who, as he tells everyone he meets, enjoys community theatre and HBO’s The Wire.

Along with Joan Ostrowski-Fox (Anne Heche), a mother of two who lets loose once a year in Cedar Rapids, the two men try to coax Lippe out of his shell. His responses are often just weird enough to be hilarious; when the trio urges Lippe to join them in a round of shots, he orders an ounce and a half of sherry. The jokes don’t aim too high—at one point, a drunken Deansie puts a brass garbage can lid on his head and mimes R2-D2—but Reilly and Heche are talented enough to pull them off with panache.

Ultimately, Cedar Rapids works because of its odd juxtaposition of screwball comedy and scenes that are serious, innocent and, at times, bitter. Lippe is sweet enough to Ostrowski-Fox, for instance, that it’s a shock when Deansie asks if he’s been “eatin’ the canned tuna from the bottom shelf.” The insurance convention itself turns out be a something of a snake pit, with scheming factions and backroom deals. “Now you see how dark this place is,” Deansie tells Lippe as the convention comes to a close. Like so many lines in the movie, you get the sense that he’s only half-joking.

Arts & Entertainment

Winning the Meltdown Game

Charlie Sheen has been a tabloid staple for most of his adult life. Between his numerous arrests, failed relationships, and well-documented addictions, the actor has provided the media with endless fodder. It’s a miracle Sheen has had any time for his actual profession.

Two and a Half Men appeared to be Sheen’s saving grace. When he landed the role of Charlie on the half-hour sitcom approximately eight years ago, Sheen reinvented himself as a marketable entity who could successfully carry a show and relate to the everyman. He remarried twice, had more children, and stayed out of trouble for a reasonable amount of time—especially by his standards.

And yet, as is often the case with former addicts, Sheen has gone off the deep end once again, doing a complete 180 in a matter of months. He changed from a divorced family man into embattled party animal. His recent escapades include vacations and a 36-hour cocaine binge with multiple porn stars and one of his equally troubled ex-wives. He has also publicly said that he hopes his children ask him about his drug use so he can tell them some “epic” stories. Apparently, his years off drugs and alcohol were too “boring,” Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre is a “bullshit TV persona,” and he is on “a drug called Charlie Sheen.” He has also spouted various anti-Semitic remarks about Lorre. This past week, production on Two and a Half Men was shut down in response to Sheen’s actions, specifically his multiple public jabs at the top management at his network and the show itself. Sheen has subsequently been given multiple opportunities to voice his deluded opinions in multiple press outlets such as TMZ and ABC. And lest we forget the power of social media—he now has a very active Twitter account.

Sheen’s behaviour can be ultimately summed up as highly inappropriate. His wild, unpredictable actions are no longer just material for the media but a terrible example for his children. What will they think when they are old enough to hear and read about his exploits? What does his eldest from a previous marriage think? Can his children truly rely on him as a father?

Sheen’s recent behaviour has also resulted in extensive job losses for those who worked on his show.  He has cost his fellow colleagues their jobs, at least temporarily, with the future of the show hanging in the balance. Multiple news sources claim it’s all for the greater good. Had Sheen really had grounds for his nasty comments about his employers, it would have been advisable to settle them quietly and with lawyers rather than hashing it all out in the media, resulting in an inevitable backlash from the hand that fed him (and frankly, paid him exceedingly over-the-top amounts of money). Once again, Sheen has failed to see that his actions have consequences for more than just himself.

And what of the media, which has allowed him to wreak havoc with his words and provided a public venue to view photos and videos of his antics? While this is another article in and of itself, it’s worth mentioning, however briefly, that the media have served once again as enablers, provocateurs, and exploiters of a man who is clearly unhinged.

In Sheen’s defence, there’s no doubt the man needs help, both of the therapeutic and the rehabilitation variety, and is thus not completely responsible for all of his actions. So if there’s any reason to refrain from fully holding him accountable, it’s the fact that he is likely not in his best frame of mind at the moment.

Charlie Sheen is turning into a parody of himself and probably won’t have much time before his current situation becomes less of a media fascination and more of a total and utter tragedy.

Sports

Was BYU right to suspend Brandon Davies for the NCAA season?

Yes

Brigham Young University has been highly publicized over the past week due to the school’s decision to suspend leading rebounder Brandon Davies for his violation of the university’s Honour Code. This code requires all students to be honest, live a chaste and virtuous life, use clean language, and maintain specific grooming standards (including not growing a beard). In addition it prohibits alcoholic beverages, substance abuse, tobacco, tea, and coffee.

This strict Honour Code is not for me. To clarify, I would never attend BYU, as my day-to-day life conflicts with the code (I’ve already had two coffees, did not shave this morning, and I just made plans to go out for a beer this evening). Davies, however, like all other students at BYU, was aware of the Honour Code and agreed to it when he decided to attend the university. He made a commitment to follow the code, and by having premarital sex with his girlfriend, blatantly violated it. He was not blindsided by this news, as he was fully aware that he was committing an infraction. The university simply stood by their principles, and, in doing so, they sacrificed a top player and, potentially their ability to win a national title.

In sports, owners, general managers, and coaches too often turn a blind eye when their players commit infractions because acknowledging it would have negative consequences for the team’s performance or potential profit. Major League Baseball, which has spent the past few years trying to distance itself from the dark stain of the “steroid era,” is a prime example. During this time the obvious prevalence of steroids was ignored by coaches, general managers, owners and even the commissioner, because players hitting home runs made the teams better, and brought fans out in record-breaking numbers. Once the information about performance enhancing drugs became public, MLB had to face the music and clean up its act. It’s clear, however, that they failed to act even when they (and not the fans) knew what was going on.

BYU has been condemned for suspending Davies, with critics arguing that he was not in violation of any criminal codes and that his actions were consistent with social norms. I believe, instead, that BYU should be applauded. Finally, a sports organization has placed its values ahead of winning. The NCAA’s core values do not include winning, but they do include “the highest level of integrity and sportsmanship.” BYU’s actions represent the integrity that has been sorely lacking in the sports world. BYU could have swept this under the rug, and no one would have known. Instead they’ve shown that their principles are a genuine priority—and that these principles trump athletic success.    

For students at McGill, such an Honour Code might seem ridiculous. Freshman students’ first impressions of university life come from Frosh Week where the two most emphasized activities are alcoholic consumption and promiscuity. To argue, however, that a restrictive Honour Code is unjust illustrates a lack of contextual understanding. BYU is a private university, and their values do not harm, and are not imposed, on others. Their Honour Code is based on Mormon religious values and it reflects the presence of religious freedom in the United States. Institutions are permitted to establish their own value systems and codes of behaviour, as long as they are within the law. It would be unjust to enforce this Honour Code if students were forced to attend the institution, but, as in the case of Davies, students choose to go and are fully aware of the code of conduct to which they will be held.

While it seems shocking that Davies will be suspended for the season just because he had sex with his girlfriend, his violation of the school’s Honour Code warrants such a punishment upon further review. If Davies is to represent the school as an athlete he has a responsibility to adhere to its principals, and failure to do so warrants suspension. Rather than being criticized, BYU should be commended for standing by their Honour Code and enforcing their principles. Davies’ suspension is unfortunate—but it is just.

Jonathan Rosenbluth

 

No

We live in a world in which people are far too quick to turn a blind eye to athletes making mistakes and acting like morons because they’re famous and athletic. Despite this, suspending Brandon Davies for the entire season was the wrong decision.

Admittedly, Davies knew what he was getting into when he signed BYU’s Honour Code. If he didn’t want to live by those rules, he should have chosen another school. The problem lies with how BYU responded to the breach of their code. First off, their decision is devoid of any attempt to understand the personal changes that often occur during college. But in addition, the suspension has caused much more harm and damage than Davies’ actions ever did.

College is a period of transition in life. People change quickly and their core values change with them. An Honour Code is a noble idea, but it ignores the reality that a graduating student will be much different exiting than they were entering. There are things I have done during my last four years of college that I would not have thought I would ever do as a 17-year-old freshman. I could have signed an agreement about my conduct and actions entering university that I was very comfortable with that I wouldn’t be alright with now. Does that make me hypocritical? No. It makes me a normal university student.

The difference is that Davies actually did sign an agreement and he broke it. He should be held accountable for his actions. But does this act really merit a season long suspension and possible expulsion? He deserves to be punished but he also deserves a second chance. Suspend him for a game or two, but not the entire season.

Davies only “crime” is that he had sex with his girlfriend. Who was harmed by this? Davies? His girlfriend? I don’t think so; in fact I’m willing to bet they both had a pretty great time.

Davies committed to BYU two years ago. Sure, as a freshman he might have been confident that he would abstain from sex while at BYU, but a lot can change in a couple years. He met a girl, they started dating, and they had sex. Seems pretty reasonable. BYU should react with understanding, not dogmatic discipline.

Moreover, the suspension is harming many more people than the violation did. First, Davies and his girlfriend are being scrutinized, analyzed, and judged by the national media, which they don’t deserve. If BYU had dealt with the issue behind closed doors and suspended him for a couple games it would not have blown up nationally like it did.

Additionally, it dismantled the BYU basketball team. Some may argue that basketball is just a game, but the reality is basketball is not just a game to Davies and every other member of the team. The sport is their life; they’ve spent thousands of hours practising, playing, and training. At one point it stops being a game and becomes something much more important to each and every one of those students.

Davies’ suspension doesn’t just ruin this season for him, but for every single member of his team. BYU was ranked third in the nation and had a legitimate chance to win the NCAA tournament. Success is fleeting in college basketball as players graduate and turn pro very quickly. As a result, great teams only exist for a year, maybe two, before exiting players dismantle them. This season was the team’s chance to be the best; without Davies they’re still good, but not great. With this suspension, each and every player on that team will wonder for the rest of his life what could have been. More devastating is the fact that Davies not only feels responsible for ruining the season for himself, but also ruining it for his teammates.

Yes, Davies broke the Honour Code, but he’s a changing 19-year-old who admittedly made a mistake that harmed no one until BYU decided to suspend him. Does his girlfriend real
ly deserve to be nationally humiliated? Do his teammates need to feel cheated? Does he deserve to think for the rest of his life that he let each and everyone of his teammates down? These are the direct results of the suspension. Where’s the honour in that?

Walker Kitchens

 

Winner : YES

When Davies decided to go to BYU he made a commitment to comply with the school’s Honour Code. It’s a refreshing breath of fresh air to see a collegiate institution choose their values over athletic success.

Sports

The magic of Melo and the majesty of MSG

When you spend too long in one place, it tends to get to you. Therefore, it makes sense to use Reading Week to escape a dreary Montreal February for warmer climes. Yes, your faithful writer sought to escape the aggression of constant snow and biting wind and went to the Big Apple. New York City. I had a warm spot on the floor of my artist friend’s Brooklyn loft and tickets for a Knicks game—quite the hipster hajj.

Carmelo Anthony felt trapped too; a pending escape (his free agency, my graduation) from our current homes mere months away. When all looked dead during earlier trade negotiations to facilitate Melo’s exit from Denver, doubtless he turned to the sky and open face of heaven—to breathe a prayer for Knicks GM Donnie Walsh to pull the trigger. “Trade for me,” he whispered. The Knicks would have to give up half their team, but his prayers were answered.

I had the dumb luck that my tickets fell on Carmelo Anthony’s debut night at the Garden. There’s nothing like an arena full of fans whose team has just landed a coup-de-grace, making a league shaking trade which improves their team dramatically in the long run and for a playoff push this year. The Garden that night was delirious, replete with chants for Melo that occurred, impressively, even outside the arena before the game.

Both wearing blue, in Melo’s case a bright new #7 jersey, mine a smudgy Knicks t-shirt that smelled funny and was purchased from a man on the street, we excitedly watched the arena fill. Madison Square Garden is physically different than most arenas, much wider and lower, so every fan feels closer to the court. With the court well lit and the seats dark, it’s more like a Broadway theatre than any other arena, fitting for New York. But the game, and all of the pomp surrounding it, felt kind of like a big-budget performance.

Early in the evening, the Knicks superstars seemed so excited to play together. A surreal pre-game press conference included a photo op with Melo, Amare Stoudemire, and Chauncey Billups all beaming. Speaking of Stoudemire, the Garden faithful have embraced him in a way rarely seen by most new acquisitions, though one would suspect that if Mohammar Quadaffi averaged 26 points per game, Knicks fans would love him too. That said, the mayhem at their game introductions showed that New York adores their hometown hero, Anthony, perhaps even more than they’ve already welcomed Stoudemire. The only cheer louder than the one for Anthony’s introduction was for his first quarter put-back dunk—some of his first points as a Knick. In the first quarter, when he got his first rest it must have dawned on Melo that he managed to control both the game and the entire league. We are in the era of the superstar, there is no doubt.

But what about the basketball? It might take them some time to learn to play together—the Heat have been dealing mightily with chemistry problems all season—but Billups and Stoudemire form an excellent pick and roll combo and Melo is terrific in isolation. When the team finds a way to reconcile the two, lesser opposing defences will cease to exist and the Knicks will get every open shot they need. With Milwaukee’s defence focused on Amare and Melo that night, Billups went off for 21 points, eight assists, and six rebounds, and the crowd chanted his name. Backup PG Toney Douglas scored 23. The Knicks finally have a glut of scoring options. As for Melo’s numbers? He put up 27 points and 10 boards and the Knicks won by six. Strangely, though, the stats seemed secondary to the spectacle. The grandeur was a perfect way to start Anthony’s Knicks career, to add a new chapter to his relationship with the league. For one night his story was a pleasant and gentle tale of love and languishment.    

After the game I held an ear to SportsCentre and NBA.com. I wanted to reflect on the supposed history I witnessed that evening. Catching the notes on Melo, an eye to the game and an eye to the fans, I was filled with excitement about spending the next few seasons watching the sailing cloudlet’s bright career with the Knicks. For he who has attended supposed sports history, he mourns that day so soon has glided by: E’en like the passage of an angel’s tear, that falls through the clear ether silently.

Opinion

Todd Plummer

The Tribune’s endorsement for Students’ Society Vice President internal goes to Todd Plummer. Plummer’s varied experience and connections, strong platform, and ability to communicate and negotiate effectively make him the strongest candidate for the internal position.

Plummer’s platform is tangible and practical, as well as innovative. In addition to plans to revive a high-profile guest speaker event and an end-of-year concert, Plummer’s ideas for a permanent student art gallery and a “DUSTED” event to bring Montrealers into SSMU life are all excellent and realistic.

Importantly, Plummer plans to build on relationships between SSMU and the various faculty associations. This is a significant role for SSMU, and particularly for the VP internal, but has occasionally been overlooked. With his experience on one of McGill’s largest faculty associations, the AUS, Plummer is well-poised to effectively undertake such a project.

By far the biggest challenge facing next year’s VP internal will be implementing the major changes to Frosh, now called Orientation Week. This will require a careful balance between negotiating with administrators and advocating for students’ interests. In his role on the AUS executive, Plummer has already interacted with many of these administrators, and we are confident he will be a forceful yet reasonable voice for student concerns.

Plummer has seen the AUS go through one of the toughest years on record for a faculty organization at McGill. He has been an integral member of an executive that has taken every challenge in stride and responded impressively. Plummer has also been consistently open and accessible to the student press. With this experience under his belt, Plummer is well-prepared to handle any of the challenges or conflicts that he will inevitably face as a SSMU executive.

Candidate Kady Paterson, with her experience on SSMU Council, work in the First Year Office, membership in SSPN, active participation in this year’s process of negotiating changes to Frosh, and experience with one of the school’s smaller and often overlooked faculties, Education, is also highly qualified and would likely do an excellent job in the position. We are concerned however, that she is the only candidate for internal who failed to mention the importance of sustainability in her platform. This, along with Plummer’s concrete, innovative new ideas, as well as his experience on an executive that has overcome significant challenges, makes him stand out.

Candidates Christina Sfeir and Natalie Talmi have experience and good ideas. They are familiar with event planning through their work on Orientation changes and SSPN, respectively. Talmi’s plans to include clubs in SSMU events and Sfeir’s interest in bringing in political speakers are both commendable. But neither candidate has the broad experience possessed by Plummer and Paterson. Ultimately, Plummer probably has the best ability to engage a diverse community in a wide array of events.

In a school not traditionally known for its spirit, current VP Internal Tom Fabian has made significant strides, particularly through building ties to McGill Athletics, a process initiated by 2008-2009 VP internal and former Tribune editor Julia Webster. We hope Plummer will continue these efforts, as they provide important benefits to SSMU, Athletics, and the broad McGill community.

Opinion

JoÃl Pedneault

Tuition is going to be a huge issue next year, and Joël Pedneault will be a strong person to have at the helm as VP external. We hope that he will take multiple viewpoints into account and keep his strategies grounded in serious research, but his experience and the way he has presented himself this campaign period give us confidence in his ability to effectively lead the external portfolio.

Pedneault’s primary challenge next year will be trying to keep tuition fees down in the face of an end to the current freeze. These may as much as double over the next few years, and Pedneault has pledged to lobby against tuition hikes for Quebec, out of province, and even international students. This would be a difficult task for anybody, and a Quebec government set in its ways, with university and business leaders onside, will be extremely difficult to sway. Pedneault may have the best shot at success, however. He has spent the past year working with the QSR and has a solid understanding of its workings. He also understands SSMU, thanks to his experience as a councillor. He has been involved in research and has pledged to conduct more, is interested in trying to ease barriers for Anglophone entry into the Quebec student movement, and wants to pursue a strategy that includes presenting real alternatives to tuition hikes to provincial legislators. He is well-spoken in both official languages and should be able to inspire the confidence of students and the administration.

That tuition will still rise is a likely outcome, so we hope that Pedneault will leave time to focus on his other promises. The reduced fare transit pass for all students, increased collaboration with community groups, and everyday work as part of the SSMU executive are all endeavours we would like to see. One of Sebastien Ronderos-Morgan’s strengths as VP external was engaging students in events and trips that were not just about tuition, like a bus to protests outside the climate change negotiations in Ottawa. Though Myriam Zaidi has not run many of these trips, they would be good things for Pedneault to bring back.

Joël Pedneault has a good track record and a well thought out vision. We encourage you to vote yes and wish him luck as VP external next year.

Student Life

WebCT quotation of the week

Subject: Assigned Readings

Author: Student 1

What are the assigned readings for the mid2?

when can we have the list of readings?

 

Subject: Assigned Readings

Author: Student 2

Seriously? We just had a midterm yesterday… YESTERDAY!

Joke

How to rear children

You might think it’s a bit early to start thinking about rearing children, but it’s not. Kids are everywhere and need to be dealt with in the right way. If you make a mistake raising a child, you are effectively giving the middle finger to the future, and that’s just kind of rude. So, we have assembled some basic things to keep in mind when grooming the future of humankind.

 

Candy

Candy will make your kid fat. Do you really want a fat kid? If your kid gets fat, then they won’t have any friends and they won’t get a job and they’ll die. Do you really want a dead kid? So, to make sure they don’t eat candy, here’s what you do. Forbid your child from ever eating candy … except on Halloween night. On Halloween, take your child out trick-or-treating and let them collect all the candy they want. But then, specify to your child that he or she needs to finish it all before midnight or you will have to destroy what is left over so that the ghouls of Hallows’ Eve past don’t come and eat your child’s face (make sure you tell this to them to make them extra-terrified). Then, the kid will eat so much that they’ll probably get sick and vomit everywhere. At this point, you can tell the child that they’re probably allergic to candy and they should never eat it again. Now, you don’t have to worry about Type II diabetes.

 

Awards

Never let your child have an award unless they win something. Too many participation awards are given out to young kids. This is a stupid idea. It makes them complacent. No wonder this country never wins anything in sports. If your child is given some sort of participation award, you should take it away from them and smash it in front of them. This will build their character so they learn not to take shit from nobody. Along the same lines, you should make everything a competition. This will encourage them to get better at things and make them more awesome as they get older. If you have multiple kids, make them compete against each other for your affection and promise to only love the winner. This will make them try extra hard and will also teach them that nothing is free, especially love and affection.

 

Lying

Lie to your children when you see fit. For example, tell them a fork is actually called a “spoon.” This will confuse them and entertain you to no end. Furthermore, they will be so confused over basic utensils that they will have to discover new ways to eat food, which would be awesome. Imagine eating soup with a knife … badass, right? Also, if you lie to them and they figure out you’re lying, then you know that your kid isn’t a total idiot and you can then be sure that you will send them to school instead of having them work on your farm as a chicken shepherd.

 

Apathy

You should try to be relatively apathetic about your kids. When they’re teenagers, they’ll be apathetic about everything, so you might as well get ahead of them by a few years. Let your kids do whatever they want. Tell everyone you are following a trendy new parenting style, approved by Oprah, called “free range children.” They literally don’t have to do anything they don’t want to do. Don’t want to go to school? Fine. Their choice. Want to wear their Halloween costume to school in December? Sounds good. Not only will this reinforce their sense of entrepreneurship and creativity, it will also teach them that keeping it real is the most important skill they can ever learn. Furthermore, when your kid gets mocked for wearing a Halloween costume to school in December (which they will), you can a) Tell them you told them so, which will be fun for you, and b) Teach them how to fight back, either verbally, physically, or both. If you later get called into the principal’s office because your kid was “defending himself” in the schoolyard by making fun of other kids, just tell the principal to stop being such a nerd, or you’re going to give him a swirly in the toilet. At this point it doesn’t matter what other adults think of your kid … your kid is going to be so ace.

News

Monika Fabian – VP Clubs & Services

Why is it important that the VP clubs and services be an elected position and not something like the interest group coordinator, who is an appointed administrator?

When you’re hired as IGC you kind of already have an idea of what you’re supposed to be doing and you fulfill a certain role, whereas with the VP clubs and services portfolio there are certain responsibilities, but you can cater to all the needs of the clubs within your term of office. I think that’s going to be really important especially for next year, because I hope to implement a lot of changes that will better the whole system in general, because it’s a bit of a mess.

 

What are some of the issues that you’ve noticed this year and how would you try and fix them?

A lot of clubs haven’t been active for a number of years, so it’s really wasting the resources that we have to offer clubs and services. I’ve been looking into the way a bunch of other universities in Canada handle their clubs and services programs and a lot of them have been super successful because of the fact that they make clubs reapply every year.  I think this would be really beneficial for our system here at McGill because then we would be better able to help the clubs in growing and being successful on campus and we would not be wasting any resources on clubs that aren’t active at all.

 

The last two VPs of clubs and services were both former interest group coordinators.  How does your position as IGC prepare you for this role?  

This is a big part of the difference between Carol and I. As IGC you learn thing that you can’t in any sort ofposition to prepare you for VP clubs and services.  You learn the inner workings of SSMU, you work with the people, you develop relationships with everyone in the office, you see how people within SSMU interact and how to go about certain things.

If you were a mixed drink, what would you be, and why?

A B-52. It’s a shot of Kahlua, Bailey’s, and Crown Royal. I think having those different layers can be related to me.

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