Latest News

Student Life

Unfortunate Culinary and Bathroom Adventures

by Alison Bailey on

More in Student Life:

Although I risk a great friendship, and much more, by telling this story, I feel I have a duty to society that I must fulfill. The least I can do at this point is not disclose the name of the person to whom this happened. Nevertheless, I insist that this story is true.

Let me begin by saying that there are some things in life that one should always remain in complete control of, such as one’s bowels.

Bob was a very good friend of mine who had a knack for cooking. One day, upon returning from a long journey in Europe to visit his girlfriend, Bob was cooking a wonderful prawn curry for his darling sister and his lovely mother. For anyone who knows anything about cooking, this meant that Bob had to first cook the prawns. At this point, Bob became very hungry, which as we all know is a cook’s worst enemy. Bob could not even wait for the prawns to defrost before he devoured well over half of them. He initially felt no effects, except perhaps mild satisfaction.

However, this early sentiment was short lived. In a couple of hours, Bob had completely evacuated by oral means all traces of the prawns from his system. For the next 24 hours or so, Bob’s digestion was extremely uneasy at both ends, as he had to rush to the washroom every couple of hours at very little notice.

However, Bob was heading eastward in a couple of days time, so he decided to stay true to his word and take his mother and sister out to dinner.

It is one thing to lose control of one’s bowels in the privacy of one’s home. It is another to lose control of such things in public, and upon uttering “I fear the worst” to his sister, Bob did just that. A look of sheer agony appeared on Bob’s face as everyone’s worst nightmare filled Bob’s underpants. Yes, he had shat his pants.

Just as it seemed matters couldn’t get any worse, Bob discovered the washrooms were up a set of stairs, and were not individual rooms that could be locked but rather the public kind with rows of stalls. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, so Bob instinctively took his shirt off and stuffed it in the crack of the door in hopes that this would prevent anyone from entering the washroom. He then proceeded to remove all other clothing. Bob stood there in the nude, looking for means to clean himself. Toilet paper, the first and most obvious choice, is great for small clean-ups. But Bob was not a small man and the damage far exceeded any assistance toilet paper could have provided. The sink was the only way to go.

Sitting up there, a small water current running down the crevasse of his behind, Bob felt a great relief until a gentleman entered, struggling only slightly with the shirt blocking the way. You can imagine this poor man’s surprise when his eyes fell upon quite a large naked man sitting on the sink. The expression ‘wrong place at the wrong time’ was coined for precisely this situation.

Although Bob must have been able to somewhat foresee this chain of events, one can never truly prepare for a moment like this, and so Bob found himself greeting the gentlemen with a “Good evening, sir,” and after a small moment that allowed them both to fully gauge the situation he continued with “Can you please give me a moment?”

Ladies and gentlemen, our tale ends soon after: Bob left the establishment quicker than you can say “prawn curry.” Indeed, he will most likely never return. Nor will he likely eat prawn curry for quite some time. Nor will he likely be speaking to me anytime soon. However, I do hope you have enjoyed this story and that you’ve learned whatever lessons can be drawn from this unfortunate tale.

Student Life

10 Gadgets that Make September a Bit Easier

by Iain Macdonald on

More in Student Life:

1. ClockyClocky is one of the most irritating devices ever made, surpassing even cell phones with Ludacris ringtones. While it’s not a new gadget, it’s a sound investment for heavy sleepers. Hitting the snooze button twice cues Clocky to wheel itself off the nightstand and cruise around the bedroom floor, beeping like R2D2 on methamphetamines. The combination could wake a hibernating grizzly bear.

2. Wake the Fuck Up coffeeThe fact that all of the reviews for this product are in all caps confirms that this coffee will KEEP YOU UP ALL NIGHT. This cup of joe is the most powerful legal stimulant on the market.

3. Kryptonite New York Fahgettaboudit Chain LockAnyone who has owned a bike in Montreal knows that bike theft is rampant. Fehgettaboudit is an eight pound, tempered boron, manganese chain. While it can still be cut with power tools, it’s much easier for crooks to go after the quarter-inch cable lock on the bike next to yours.

4. Sharpie Liquid PenIf you’ve ever wanted to write in pen, pencil, and permanent marker at the same time, this product is for you. It’s a pen that erases like a pencil, and writes smoothly like a rollerball pen. Three days after writing, the ink becomes permanent, like a Sharpie.

5. LivescribeThis pen records everything you write and hear. Then, after class, you can synchronize your notes and audio on your computer for playback. The pen can also play back what was said in conjunction with a particular note. Although this gadget may be pricey, it’s useful for fast-paced lectures.

6. DropboxCan’t remember where you put that USB drive with your term paper on it? Dropbox can fix that. This online storage system allows users to easily access files from any computer. With competitive pricing and an easy-to-use interface, Dropbox is a good replacement for typical mobile data storage.

7. Bose In-Ear HeadphonesThese headphones combine excellent sound quality with affordability. While any pair of headphones are capable of drowning out library talkers, these are also comfortable enough for long study sessions.

8. PowerstickYou just left for another long night at McLennan only to find out that your iPod and phone are out of juice and all three of the desks with outlets are taken. The Powerstick is a portable charger for all of your favorite devices, and it doubles as an 8 GB USB storage device.

9. InfoScan TSHighlighting textbooks may be a useful study tactic, but it lowers the resale value of the books. The InfoScan TS is a digital highlighter – just run it over the text you want to highlight and the pen will remember what you highlighted and then translate it into a text document. The pen can hold up to 500 pages of text at a time, and can be plugged into your computer to retrieve your highlighted notes.

10. Original Ring ThingThis ring has a bottle opener carved into the top side. Wear it on your hand and simply put your fist on the bottle cap and pry. At only $8, it seems silly to buy a normal bottle opener.

Recipes, Student Life

Gruyere Mac and Cheese

by Shannon Kimball on

More in Recipes:

This French twist on macaroni and cheese is a holiday classic in my family that is usually served with beef bourguignon, homemade rolls, and a few too many glasses of red wine. Now that I’ve moved back into my Montreal apartment after a summer away from home, curling up with this cheesy treat is the perfect way to relax after class and let the nostalgia kick in.

The key ingredient is freshly grated nutmeg-it tones down the sharp gruyere cheese and adds a bit of sweetness. If possible, avoid buying generic nutmeg powder and splurge on real seeds and a grater.

Ingredients

5 oz. grated gruyere cheese

1 lb rigid penne pasta

1 ¼ cup whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

2 tbsp. butter

2 garlic cloves, peeled

1 heaping tbsp. of flour

2 tsp. freshly ground nutmeg

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees Fahrenheit, or set your oven to broil.

2. Warm the milk and garlic cloves in a pan over high heat. Once the milk has reached a boil, take the pan off the stove, and cover the pan for fifteen minutes. Remove the garlic and reserve the milk.

3. Boil water and cook the pasta until al dente. Drain and set aside.

4. In a small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and whisk for one minute. Take the pan off of the heat and slowly whisk in the reserved milk. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and nutmeg.

5. Return the pan to low heat, and continue to whisk the seasoned milk for five minutes, or until thick. Remove the pan from the heat and add the cream.

6. Combine the pasta with the white sauce in a large baking dish. Add the grated Gruyere cheese on top, and broil for 5-10 minutes, until golden brown.

Student Life

The Tribune’s Guide to Electives

by Alison Bailey, Tori Crawford, Shannon Kimball, Theo Meyer on

More in Student Life:

There are hundreds of great electives to choose from this year, but if you’re number 25 on the waitlist, try one of these courses you never knew existed.

CHEM 180, 181, 182, 183: World of Chemistry

Profs: Ariel Fenster, David Nobel Harpp, Joe Schwartz

The founders of the Office for Science and Society team up again for the faculty’s most popular course series. Doctors Fenster, Harpp, and Schwartz combine research, humour, and a bit of eccentricity in every lecture. This fall, students can look forward to a technology course that includes topics ranging from rocket science to lipstick, as well as a course on drugs covering everything from brain chemistry to the dangers of recreational pharmaceuticals. Stay tuned for next semester’s Chemistry of Food, in which the trio debunk food and dietary myths and even teach a cooking lesson.

ECON 316: The Underground Economy

Prof: Robin Naylor

The drug trade, money laundering, and black markets are the focus of this unconventional economics course. One of only a few academics in this opaque field, Professor Naylor focuses less on textbooks, formulas, and outdated theories, and more on his own creativity. Be prepared for blunt jokes and insults, as well as the best economics course at McGill.

PSYC 311: Human Cognition and the Brain

Prof: Michalakas Petrides

Known to say things like “The brain is so simple, really,” Dr. Petrides will teach you basic neuroanatomy and why you think the way you do. He runs around the lecture theatre to simulate how neural networks communicate, and isn’t shy about repeating the complex aspects of cognition. He’s worked with psychology’s most famous amnesic patient, the late H.M., and it’s most famous researcher, the Montreal Neurological Institute’s Brenda Milner. Even better, he shows up to class early and stays late to answer questions rather than hiding in his office.

POLI 244: International Politics: State Behaviour

Prof: Stephen Saideman

When you first walk into Saideman’s class, you will hear popular tunes blasting. This is indicative of the atmosphere and Saideman’s fun and innovative teaching style. The class broadly covers the behaviour of nation states and gives an analysis of the different factors that shape the decisions they make, giving students a basic knowledge of international politics. Saideman has spent time working at the Pentagon and is the author of a number of books on foreign policy.

EAPR 250: Research Essay and Rhetoric

This class teaches the basic-but often ambiguous-rules of English grammar and essay writing. The material is extremely straightforward, and you will see a clear difference in your writing between the beginning and the end of the course. It’s an ideal class to take in first or second year because it will improve your essay-writing skills before you enter upper level courses. Best of all, there is no final, which will lighten the burden of your exam schedule.

PHYS 101: Introduction to Physics

Prof: Kenneth Ragan

This is coming from an Arts student: Ragan does a wonderful job at making physics an enjoyable subject. He teaches lectures in an innovative and lively manner, integrating demonstrations and experiments into his teaching. He is also the well deserving recipient of the 2007 Physics Department Award for Excellence in Teaching.

EPSC 180: The Terrestrial Planets

Prof: Olivia Jensen

This is a great (read: easy) science fulfillment for Arts students. It’s like a grown-up version of grade-three Earth science, complete with lively lectures on the structure of the solar system and volcanoes (although sadly without baking soda volcanoes or papier mâché solar system models).

EDEE 325: Children’s Literature

Prof: Donna Smith

While the syllabus for this class lists at least 10 required books, they’re almost all in large print, with lots of pictures, and written at a first grade reading level. Not only will the course invoke nostalgia for your favorite childhood books, but it will also introduce some new works that have been released since you graduated from Dr. Seuss to J.K. Rowling. Instead of an exam, the final project involves creating your own children’s book, which means investing in some good old-fashioned construction paper, magic markers, and glitter. Who doesn’t want to relive craft time?

MGCR 222: Introduction to Organizational Behavior

Prof: Alfred Jaeger

Professor Jaeger and his talented team of TAs-also known as Course Counselors-coach eager management students on leadership, communication style, and problem solving in this psychology-for-business course. The tutorials consist of a brief overview of the material, games that theoretically relate back to the material, and sometimes even snack time.

INTD 200: Introduction to International Development

Prof: Pushkar

The first half of the course broadly covers major development theories presented in several upper level economics courses, but without the messy graphs and formulas that frighten most Arts students. Professor Pushkar posts detailed lecture notes on WebCT so that students can enjoy-rather than transcribe-his lectures. The course analyses the failures of the World Bank and the future of the developing world, all with a healthy dose of Pushkar’s cynicism. Later in the term, weekly guest lectures from the world’s foremost authorities on development and foreign aid keeps students entertained and informed on up-to-date news.

HIST 301: U.S. Presidential Campaigning

Prof: Gil Troy

Troy wrote the book “See How They Ran: The Changing Role of the Presidential Candidate” on American presidential campaigning and his office is filled with presidential memorabilia, including a devilish-looking poster of Richard Nixon and a John McCain trucker cap. Expect tons of reading but fast-paced, compelling lectures.

Montreal, News

Governer General Reaches Out to Youth in Montreal North

by Theo Meyer on

More in Montreal:

Governor General MichaÃlle Jean addressed an auditorium full of youth and community leaders in the Montreal North borough at a youth forum on Tuesday August 31. Jean attempted to dispel some of the public anger that has simmered there since the shooting death of Fredy Villanueva two years ago.

Police shot the unarmed Villaneuva, aged 18, after a dispute in August 2008, killing him and setting off several riots in Montreal North.

At Tuesday’s event, the latest in a series of Youth Dialogues held by the governor general in several Canadian cities, Jean tried to engage the community and address youth concerns.

“I’m convinced that despite young people’s many achievements, there’s still a tendency in some quarters to dismiss you,” she said.

After Jean’s remarks, members of the crowd took turns voicing various grievances: police discrimination against minorities, unfamiliarity with local bylaws, and media bias against them. As they talked, the governor general sat in the crowd taking careful notes.

Youths are more likely to cooperate with authority figures, said one girl who spoke, if they treat youth with greater respect, rather than “commanding like we’re animals or something.”

Most people who spoke did so in French, though a few made their comments in English. Black and white faces appeared in the crowd, including many Haitian immigrants; when Jean briefly slipped into Creole during her speech, a number of audience members whooped.

The event hit an emotional crescendo near the end of the audience remarks, when Fredy Villanueva’s mother stood up to address the crowd and told her she did not want to lose another son.

Though much of the event focused around Villanueva, some parts struck a lighter tone. Singers, dancers, and poets that performed, including “Family Squad,” a local modern dance group, and a girl in the audience who drew loud applause with an impromptu rendition of “Amazing Grace.”

Students’ Society Vice-President External Myriam Zaidi, who attended the forum along with SSMU President Zach Newburgh, said the event was very relevant to McGill students, whom she urged to help out in Montreal communities.

“Students at McGill know how to fundraise and get things done,” she said. “They’re university students and they should do what they can for youth in Montreal.”

McGill, News

McGill Buys Third Former Hotel to Boost Residence Space

by María Flores on

More in McGill:

McGill added a third former hotel to its residences earlier this summer with the purchase of the Marriott Courtyard Montreal, which will be transformed into a residence in fall 2011 after a year of renovations.

The university had previously expanded its residence system by purchasing the Renaissance Hotel in 2003-now New Residence Hall-and the former Four Points Sheraton in 2009-now starting its second year as Carrefour Sherbrooke.

“This year, although we assumed that everyone who would want space would get the space [in residence], we really are operating above capacity,” said Deputy Provost (Student Life and Learning) Morton Mendelson. “We want to be able to meet our guarantee that our freshman students have places in residence.”

The building, located at 410 Sherbrooke West, across the street from Carrefour Sherbrooke, is currently under renovation. McGill plans to have it ready for next year’s incoming class.

“We bought it with the understanding that there was work needed on the building to improve its safety and to make it more suitable for our purposes,” Mendelson said. “That work has already started and will take place over the coming year.”

But safety issues are not the only thing on the agenda, according to Mike Porrit, executive director of Residences and Student Housing. The major structural project is the replacement of the building’s facade, however there are a number of other issues as well.

“The front and the back of the building will be replaced, McGill networks will be installed, there is some work in the garage and the basement, and there are different cosmetic things and co-compliance issues,” Porrit said.

While there is much to be done before the building starts functioning as a residence, it will almost certainly be complete by the time students move in, which was not true of Carrefour Sherbrooke last year.

“This time around, there has been a more careful assessment of the kind of work that has to be done,” Mendelson said. “We have a less optimistic-or a more realistic-appraisal of what has to be done and the amount of time we need to do it.”

In the case of Carrefour Sherbrooke, the university spent fewer than six months completing its renovation, and difficulties arose when it was discovered that more work needed to be done.

“The project grew but we were really constrained in time,” Mendelson said. “Carrefour Sherbrooke in terms of its renovations is complete from the point of view of areas that serve students and we expect that will be the case for the new residence in September.”

The residence-to-be, which will house roughly 270 students, has been designed mainly for freshmen. As part of a long-term agenda, though, McGill Residences plans to be able to accommodate exchange, visiting, graduate, and even upper-year students.

“[We want to] make this new building all first-year students because it is typically more preferred by them, but we do have a high need for graduate student spaces as well,” Porrit said.

According to Porrit, a study will be conducted this year with students regarding residences to find out what students of all years look for in housing. Based on this data, decisions will be made regarding the future purchase of additional buildings or the possible alteration of currently owned property.

“Residences want to encourage students in second and third year to stay in residence,” said Joshua Abaki, the Students’ Society’s vice-president university affairs. “Hopefully once they finish this they will be able to attract and keep more students in and give a residence position to everybody who applies.”

News

Management Frosh Theme Changed After Allegations of Racism

by Matt Essert on

More in News:

Less than a week before the start of faculty frosh, the Management Undergraduate Society changed their controversial “Tribal Frosh” theme following complaints of racism and cultural insensitivity.

Much of the controversy began on August 19, when Sarah Woolf, a U3 Arts student and former Students’ Society councilor, posted a Facebook note complaining about the MUS’s racist promotional videos. In doing so, she ignited what she termed the “unofficial launch of a campaign against the MUS Frosh 2010.”

“It seems I was the first person to post this or to indicate that this was unacceptable,” Woolf said. “From there, there were many, many people who expressed great dissatisfaction with the whole thing on Facebook or through other forums.”

After reading Woolf’s post, several students wrote emails to the MUS or posted comments on Woolf’s note expressing sentiments ranging from ambivalence in the form of “I think its alright” to passionate disgust shown by comments like “SHAME AND EMBARRASSMENT” and “grossgrossgross.”

At the request of MUS President Céline Junke, Woolf met with her, MUS Vice-President Internal Aram Aharonian and frosh co-chairs Johanna Izett and J.P. Briggs, as well as several other critics of the theme on August 22 to speak on behalf of the students who had expressed dissatisfaction with the theme.

Woolf “left the meeting thinking that there wasn’t going to be much of a change,” she said, but was pleased to see the MUS Frosh website taken down later that day. The theme was changed to “Superhero Frosh,” and the MUS issued a formal apology the next morning.

“I was happy to do whatever I could to try to rectify the situation, but by no means was this anythingI did by myself,” Woolf said. “Lots and lots of people wrote [to the MUS and] called them.”

Frosh co-chair Izett explained that there was never a concern of racism during the months of planning.

“The first time we heard about [concerns of racism] was the Friday when we got an email,” said Izett. “And then the emails just came for the next three days up until Sunday night when we decided to change the theme.”

“We spent three weeks trying to decide what kind of theme we wanted,” added Izett. “We knew that we wanted to have a competition, to boost up the theme spirit, so we wanted to have something that had a sense of community and we knew we wanted four separate groups and [we thought] ‘How are we going to get them to join together?'”

“We wanted something that people could rally around,” said Aharonian. “And in hindsight, that was what we messed up on. We should have just said the blue team, red team, pink team, yellow team. We messed up on that one.”

“The goal of Frosh is to provide the best possible welcoming experience to the incoming Management class,” Junke wrote in the formal apology letter on the MUS website. In the letter, Junke also apologized for the theme and asked for forgivness from anyone who was offended by the theme.

The decision to change the theme placated many of the critics, but the debate over whether or not “Tribal Frosh” was a racist theme continued.

Andrew Doyle, a U4 Engineering student, former Engineering Undergraduate Society president and current Engineering senator, also posted a Facebook note in response to Woolf’s. In his opinion, Woolf and others overreacted to the theme.

“The main point was that while it could have turned out to be a racist event, just imitating other cultures is not in itself racist,” said Doyle. “Since so many people knew about the theme and the planning process [over the course of the summer], if it was racist it would have come out and somebody would have said something.”

Woolf, however, argued that even though no one spoke out sooner, the theme was still racist and unacceptable.

“There’s no getting around it: the frosh theme was racist,” she said. “The analogy that I used was you would not have a frosh theme that was ‘Frosh 2011: Black Face.’ You wouldn’t do that, so why is it okay to pick a theme like ‘indigenous groups around the world?'”

Paumal? Cassiday, a U3 psychology student and a K?naka Maoli, or native Hawaiian, said that he and many other native people are generally more concerned with “real world” issues. But, upon considering the Frosh theme, Cassiday said that he felt that a “Tribal” theme was racist and inappropriate.

“It doesn’t matter who it’s making fun of, whether its Maoris, Hawaiians or whoever else-the point is that it’s disrespectful,” Cassiday said. “You’re mocking a culture that has already endured so much and whose people have overcome so much and have fought for so much. It’s just like a slap in the face for us.”

SSMU President Zach Newburgh said that he is pleased about the way the situation turned out and thought the MUS was very generous in changing their theme only a couple of days before Frosh.

“I think it’s a learning opportunity for everyone who was involved in Frosh week,” Newburgh said. “I hope that when this kind of issue arises again in the future, if it does-and I’m sure it will-that the process we’ll go through in order to make sure that racism and discrimination and prejudice don’t exist on our campus is just as good as the end we want to reach.”

“We all are [pleased with the result],” added Woolf. “It’s a victory for everyone involved, for the incoming froshies who don’t have to be part of a racist event, for MUS who has shown how to take responsibility for these things, and for the Montreal academic community as a whole. It’s a small one, but it is a victory.”

Editorial, Opinion

EDITORIAL: Tribal Frosh and the Tone of Campus Debate

by on
  • Author

More in Editorial:

The Tribune applauds the Management Undergraduate Society’s decision last week to change the name of their frosh week from “Tribal” to “Superhero,” though we are deeply concerned over the predictably hyperbolic reaction to the original idea.

The change came after howls of protest over the initial theme, and the online dissemination of a promotional video depicting a handful of Management students posing as members of various African and Central and South American tribes. MUS pulled the video from the Internet once the extent of oppositional fury become apparent, so some of us have not seen it. However, those who did were concerned by insensitive imitative attire and mock tribal dances. The decision to change the theme was right for several reasons.

First, Frosh is an environment in which the goal for many students goes no further than to get drunk and get laid. Regardless of the theme, Frosh is not a serious environment. It’s commendable for MUS to want, as they explained in their letter of apology, a Frosh that emphasized camaraderie and group cohesiveness. However, they should have realized that the chaotic environment in which the event takes place would inevitably undermine any benefits of such a theme.

Second, depictions like those in the MUS video reduce the complexities inherent in any society to simple, easily understandable, if not always accurate, stereotypes. We are divided over whether depictions of tribes are inherently offensive-of course, no one has a copyright on specific dress or movement. However, the fact that real tribes were chosen for depiction leaves little room for interpretation, and thus the concern over their stereotypical portrayal.

It’s also reductive to speak about indigenous societies only when referring to their experiences of oppression. They should be as fair game for discussion as established countries. Still, in light of injustice and adversity that cannot be ignored, some extra sensitivity is to be expected and is generally justified.

Yet the Tribune feels that there’s a lot more at issue here than the correctness of a single MUS decision and the poor taste of a previous one.

While the Tribal Frosh theme was insensitive, “racism” is a serious accusation. A term with more connotations than real definitions should not be used lightly. Nobody can be seriously convinced that Management students harbour a secret hatred of indigenous people. MUS did not intentionally spread hate and they did not incite anyone to violence.

We’re appalled, though certainly not surprised, by the breathless protests calling the original idea “imbued with white supremacy.” The tone and content of the anti-MUS campaign sounded all too familiar. A small subset of the student population claims to be offended-sometimes justifiably-by something said or done by a fellow student or administrator. Immediately-and baselessly-they assume the most malicious intent on the part of the supposed offender, and respond with fierce and accusatory language stolen from their professors and postcolonial studies textbooks. Eschewing any possibility of actually teaching anybody anything or trying sincerely to correct the perceived wrong, they hammer the opposition over the head until the latter submits to their overpowering will. It’s trigger-happy and desperate, a university-level version of bullying, hardly less brutal than if it were of the physical sort, which, as we saw during the Choose Life protests last year, it actually does occasionally become.

At the beginning of a new school year in which these types of controversies can only be expected to multiply, it’s important for everyone to consider what the proper goal is of debate on a university campus. Should it be to bludgeon others into compliance, or to share with them the insightful ways of thinking we have ourselves only recently discovered? Self-righteousness and antagonism make poor teachers. Serious and thoughtful discussion is something we would like to see more of.

Similarly, we need to re-examine the knee-jerk rapidity with which we generally assume the worst intentions on the part of our fellow students. Is there anything in our personal experience to which we can refer that would suggest our opponents live their lives with fundamentally less wholesome motives than we do ours? If not, does there remain any legitimate justification for the screeching temper tantrums some students immediately resort to upon deciding something has offended them?

The Tribune urges you to consider these questions, and the many ways in which you might personally contribute to or detract from what, if we all decided to give it a shot, might be a truly unique atmosphere of moral and intellectual education and boundless growth.

Off the Board, Opinion

OFF THE BOARD: Confessions of a Renegade Cyclist

by Ricky Kreitner on

More in Off the Board:

To those whose misfortune it may have been, at two p.m. on any given weekday at the beginning of this summer, after my logic class ended, to have found themselves somewhere along the most direct route – and I mean the most direct – between campus and my apartment on Rue St. Hubert, I sincerely apologize. No harm was intended. I acted a fool.

Understand: I consider myself a genius navigator of these Montreal streets. My ego rests largely on the secure bedrock that is my ability to get from point A to point B without having to stop my bike or even slow it down. And my ego is too important of a thing to be sacrificed for the sake of fluffy words like safety and responsibility. It’s not go big or go home, but go big to get home. That’s my motto.

Beginning at the Milton gates-to which I must walk from anywhere else on campus due to the newly implemented and absolutely enforced cyclist prohibition – I know all the tricks to get myself home in the shortest time possible: treating Milton’s frequent ARRÊT signs and red lights as mere suggestions, barely braking while flying through a red light at St. Laurent and Prince Arthur, squeezing tightly around pedestrians and parked cars to slip next to the moving traffic, hoping drivers make space enough not to hit me. Fast approaching the complex intersection of Berri and Roy, my eyes scan the horizon, apprehend the situation, and I make my move. Next I cut across the double yellow into an alley, through a small bank parking lot, finally cruising on the sidewalk for the final stretch, whistling past visibly aggravated pedestrians, attaching my bike to any object I can fit my lock around.

In essence, I do what I want. The only rule is that you don’t need to choose a single set of rules. I claim the rights of an automobile when they best suit my interests, and those of a pedestrian when they do.

I once saw a letter in the Gazette in which the writer said that he hates pedestrians when he’s driving, and hates drivers when he’s a pedestrian, but at both times he can’t bloody stand Montreal cyclists. I laughed while reading this, but merely as a defence mechanism. My actual reaction was guilty as charged.

In soberer moments like this one I can admit that I’m a serious safety hazard to myself and many, many others. It’s no wonder McGill banned bikes from campus. I’ve already heard from a few non-cyclists who claim to feel much safer on campus without having to be constantly on guard lest they get side-swiped from around a blind curve. Not surprisingly, students prefer no longer having to part like the Red Sea at that one tight spot between the grassy knoll and the Redpath Museum steps. I can hardly blame them.

I’m comfortable with these public confessions because I know I’m not the only cyclist who recklessly takes liberties available only to those who use such versatile and frankly awesome machines. I’ve seen a lot of close calls myself. There are accidents reported in the Gazette all the time. The continually poor reputation of Montreal cyclists cannot be entirely undeserved.

Pedal power, to paraphrase Uncle Ben, comes with pedal responsibility. At the beginning of a new school year, I suggest that we collectively and sincerely, even if grudgingly, pledge to keep in mind that other people actually do exist in this world besides us, and that a modicum of respect for that fact should probably be shown. Even if it means getting home fifteen seconds later than we otherwise might.

Off the Board, Opinion

OFF THE BOARD: Beautiful People

by Iain Macdonald on

More in Off the Board:

Websites where people can enter their personal information, upload a seven year old picture of themselves, and be matched with their soul-mate on a thousand levels of compatibility have caught the eyes of nerds and other socially awkward Internet users everywhere. While most of these sites market themselves to the average, online Joe, beautifulpeople.com attempts to grab the attention of only the most attractive web surfers.

Beautifulpeople.com is an online dating site where, in order to register, applicants must be judged as attractive by other members of the site. That’s right-the site actually restricts who can register. These single-and-lookings who have resorted to online dating sites are refusing a large portion of the population because they’re not hot enough.

Consider the homepage of the website. The first picture shows two men, four women, a snake, and a lion. The take-home message from this is that if you’re beautiful, it’s okay to have sex with a lion. It seems the domain name bestiality.com was already taken when the founders set up their site.

While I don’t disagree with the idea of meeting other people on the Internet, this site has some serious social and economic flaws. First, what is “beautiful?” The site’s owners fail to define the word anywhere. Different people find different things attractive. It’s superficial to judge others solely based on their looks-or, rather, an edited photo of themselves. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who needs to be reassured by other Internet users that they’re attractive. That doesn’t sound like love to me.

Social psychological research has demonstrated that attractive people tend to be more socially accepted than others, leading me to believe that they don’t need to use tools like the Internet to meet other people. My guess is that the beautiful people spend more time looking for love at the bars than on the web. The founders could make much more with online dating sites for every other group of people: the young, the old, Lady Gaga fans, lion/snake fetishists, etc. Even subdivisions of their original site, like ididntpass.beautifulpeople.com could net them extra dough.

It’s also problematic that the site makes judges out of Internet users, which is generally a bad idea. For example, last July an online poll was launched on Justin Bieber’s website in which users voted on which country he should visit next. The leading country? North Korea. These same people are responsible for memes like “Rick Rolling” and Lolcats.

Recently, beautifulpeople.com has set up another weapon in their fight against unattractiveness, an online sperm and egg bank. The bank, for those who want to have beautiful, shirtless children, will provide the means for uglies and beautiful people alike to have beautiful children. This is wrong for many reasons. Sperm banks are typically for those who cannot have children, not for those who would like to have children of a certain genetic background. It all starts to sound a bit like eugenics.

While the idea of using online dating as a means for finding true love might be a good one, beautifulpeople.com has taken this concept too far. The site’s goals are fundamentally flawed, from their repeated attempt to build strong relationships out of pure physical attraction, to their attempted removal of “ugly people” from the world. The site’s founders should re-think and re-model their business idea.

1 … 1,302 1,303 1,304 1,305 1,306 … 1,367

Read the latest issue

Read the latest issue