A gay exploration across McGill
In my first month at McGill, I got queerbaited. I started talking to a guy right after moving into residence. As we got closer, he asked with increasing frequency who pinged on my ‘gaydar.’ I had only come out as COVID-19 was declared a pandemic, so meeting other queer men was high up on my 2021 agenda. Naturally, I had a vested interest in seeing where this new connection would lead.
A week and a half later, he expressed his surprise that I had believed him when he told me that he was into men. After throwing myself a commensurate pity party (a lot of sangria and Phoebe Bridgers), I reset my sights on my objective: To find out where the //actual// queer men of McGill dwell. Three years later, I still haven’t located them. Equally for my sake and for that of anyone else faced with my affliction, I’ve undertaken the task of finding these fabled creatures on campus—if they exist at all.
It’s not as if I don’t know any queer men. The issue is that these connections are rare, and I tend to meet them one at a time. I don’t feel that I have a community, but rather connections with queer men in otherwise disparate spaces. Of course, this is my personal experience, and it might not reflect the general sentiment of queer men at McGill—ironically, I don’t know enough of them to get an appropriate sample. Thus, take my words with a grain of salt.
Finding my communities at McGill is, in many ways, easier for me as a white cis guy. I’m also close with many queer women, trans and non-binary people, and I deeply value those relationships and shared lived queer experiences. However, the absence of people who share both my sexuality and gender—those who can most closely understand my experience of these huge parts of my identity—is something that I feel sharply.
I’m looking for social settings centred around McGill undergraduates. Additionally, they must be both offline and communal. While online relations and communities are certainly valuable, I am searching for physical spaces where connections are organic, not strictly facilitated. I’m not trying to find one-to-one connections, but spaces where one can enter reliably and inclusively to foster them for social, romantic, or alternative endeavours.
This definition excludes dating and hookup apps like Tinder and Grindr. I am not necessarily searching for love—I am searching for consistent community. If I have engaged with you on one of these and it hasn’t worked out: It’s not you, it’s the app.
With these qualifications established, I now set out into //terra incognita//: What queer spaces are available to me at McGill?
Much of my information on McGill queer organizations comes from the online-accessible LGBTQIA2S+ McGill Student, Faculty, and Staff Activism exhibit, curated in 2022 by McGill Institute for Gender, Sexuality and Feminist Studies (IGSF) assistant professor Alex Ketchum and Jacob Williams (BA ‘23). Beyond its usefulness to me, it is an excellent jumping-off point for any interested in McGill’s queer past and present.
There is, of course, Queer McGill: The university’s student-run queer organization. They operate and promote a variety of services across Montreal for McGill’s 2SLGBTQIA+ population.
“Our communications coordinator, Frida, sends out a weekly newsletter and is also responsible for our social media. They will frequently boost initiatives led by groups with a similar mandate to ours,” Administrative Coordinator Abe Berglas explained in an interview with //The Tribune//. “Our events coordinators, Isabel and Val, are planning a variety of social events so that queer students and community members can congregate. Finally, our resource coordinator Arwyn ensures that our office—room 432 in the SSMU building—is an accessible space for queer folks to exist on campus.”
