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Joke, Laughing Matters

SSMU World Order

by Laura Oprescu on

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Just two months after McGill unveiled plans for the new Rossy Student Wellness Hub, advertising it as a one-stop shop for all McGill healthcare services, SSMU announced plans for a competing wellness hub. McGill will now have two one-stop shops for all students’ physical and mental health needs.

“The administration aren’t students, they don’t know what we need,” an embarrassed SSMU representative, who requested anonymity in case a future employer Googled them, said. “So instead of working with them and their $14 million budget, we decided to take matters into our own hands and put students first.”

The SSMU representative was ‘really excited’ for plans to expand student drinking options.

“Initially we were planning to renovate Gerts into a sort of SuWu-style café/bar. A SSMUWu, if you will,” the SSMU representative said, chuckling at their own joke. “But then we decided it would be easier if we just bought SuWu instead. Our budget is overseen by a U2 Economics student [….] He really believes that this is the best use of student money.”

SSMU plans to continue investing the gargantuan amount of money in other real estate projects.

“We’re thinking about buying up Café Campus next,” the SSMU representative said. “We know how integral Tuesday night drinking is to the McGill experience.”

The Master Plan also acknowledges SSMU’s concern for public relations. The SSMU representative said that they were one erroneous transcription of minutes away from students burning flags and breaking down their office doors. No student could be found to comment who knew where the new SSMU office was.

“Initially, we just wanted to use student money to hire a PR rep,” the SSMU representative said. “You know, a person that we could pay to make our failures look less awful to our constituents. But then we thought, ‘why not take this further?’ We could train an army of people to cover up our mistakes. This is a democracy, after all.”

When asked why SSMU had decided to open their own School of Public Relations with students’ money, the SSMU representative mumbled something about transparency. Or accountability.

SSMU’s School of Public Relations will be located in the SSMU building and is slated to open when the building is asbestos-free. Current estimates put this date at Apr. 1, 2080.

Joke, Laughing Matters

Friend’s boyfriend’s Mile End band actually sort of good

by Matthew Hawkins on

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Despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, friend from residence, Sarah Jensen’s boyfriend’s Mile End band played a gig on March 28 that didn’t totally suck. While they seemed like any other tiny-hat toting group of boys, Plunger actually played a pretty solid set; several audience members described it as “a little long winded, but honestly, alright.” The audience itself was mostly a crowd of turtlenecked twentysomethings with a diverse range of Anglo-Saxon roots. One song in particular, “Hal(lelujah)ucinations” a nine-minute ballad about a mystery girl the lead singer had met at TRH-Bar was a crowd favourite, although the lyrics were sometimes inaudible over the sound of shuffling Blundstones.

Plunger’s  three person lineup consists of Nick Hewlett, the loud dude with bad takes from POLI 325, on bass; Josh Byman, who you met in the distant past of Sangria Wednesday at Gerts when you both tried to put ‘Drift Away’ into the jukebox, on drums; and Jensen’s boyfriend, Xander Dave, singing and playing his uncle’s electric guitar.

In an interview with The McGill Tribune Xander explained the origin of “Hal(lelujah)ucinations” and described his artistic process.

“Well I don’t know, it was just sort of an uphill battle, you know?” Xander said.  “Like, even if I hadn’t wanted to end up there I just kinda had to [….] I don’t know, it was just something I’d never experienced before and like, those things just leave an imprint on you.”

Another crowd-pleasing hit was “Puddle-Jump,” a track which Nick described as “like a Peach Pit–Steely Dan fusion with some Tank and the Bangas.” The duration of the five minute song saw Xander and Josh shouting “Hop” repeatedly over Nick’s bassline.

Plunger is not on any music streaming services, but they are playing a gig at Sala Rosa on June 3— so, in Xander’s own words: “Come through. It’ll be chill, or whatever.”

Joke, Laughing Matters

McGill divests from fossil fuels, funds new Amazon rainforest campus

by Ezra-Jean Taylor on

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Since 2012, Divest McGill has protested McGill’s investment in companies that profit from fossil fuels. The student group has led the charge for climate activism on campus, organizing protests, raising awareness, and gaining the support of the Student’s Society of McGill University (SSMU). Their calls for action largely fell on deaf ears, even after countless vocal protests and sit-ins.. Finally, their voices have been heard.

Over the weekend, Principal and Vice-Chancellor Suzanne Fortier announced that McGill would pull investments from all companies profiting from fossil fuels. According to Divest McGill activists, this comes as some surprise, as the administration is not known to listen to students.

“It’s nice knowing I don’t have to stand outside in the cold anymore to protest,” Muña Zaldrizoti, U6 Arts, said. “But I’m not sure why the administration chose to listen now. I guess anytime is better than no time.”

Fortier held a press conference in her office after announcing the divestment plan. However, the building security did not allow members of the press to enter the James Administration Building.

“I don’t understand why students are confused,” Fortier wrote in an email to the student body. “Of course I couldn’t hear Divest McGill’s message, I had my AirPods in.”

According to Fortier, student groups had no influence on the decision to divest. The primary goal is to re-allocate the funding to more socially responsible investments, which the administration takes to mean  “most profitable for McGill.” While the McGill administration would not disclose how the money would be invested, an anonymous source leaked their plans. She desired to be referred to only as “The Lunch Lady.”

“McGill recently purchased a chunk of land in the Amazon rainforest,” The Lunch Lady said. “I saw some blueprints for a huge new McGill campus there.”

The campus would require that 200 hectares of rainforest  be clear-cut to install academic and sports facilities, as well as the “McDonald Farm” sponsored by the Golden Arches. According to local members of the community, building the new McGill campus will force an entire residing indigenous community to leave.

The administration sees the campus as an enticing opportunity that will hopefully bring in more applicants to McGill.

“Here at McGill, we strive to expand our students’ horizons and help them experience the world,” Fortier said. “That’s why, with a small extra tuition fee of $30,000, students will be able to enjoy the beauty that is deforestation and displacement of local communities.”

Features

Alone in a crowd

by Erica Stefano on

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When I was 17, my therapist told me how excited she was for me to go to college. It would be a clean slate—a new opportunity to make friends with similar interests and to get out of my comfort zone. Throughout my teenage years, the therapist’s office had become an all-too familiar environment to me: Sun-lit, with a view of the public library,  quiet classical music, children’s toys, and gaudy, celebrity-clad magazines arranged in the waiting area. I was hesitantly optimistic—my high school years had been defined by my virtual invisibility in classes and seemingly perpetual identity as an outcast.

For me, like for many others, college was promised to be an opportunity. I soon realized my naivety during my first months at McGill. I told myself that I would become what I had perceived as ‘normal,’ make friends, join clubs, and go to events. What became of my determination was one-time attendance at clubs, excessive amounts of time spent in corners kept company by only a plateful of free food, and fleeting relationships that would soon disappear once the semester ended. The feeling of living with some 744 people in New Residence Hall did nothing to curb the void of loneliness I felt.

brain drain
Commentary, Opinion

Montreal’s anglophone brain drain

by Johanna Cline on

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With only a limited knowledge of French needed to thrive as a student in Montreal, it’s unsurprising that most anglophone university graduates enter the labourforce without a working knowledge of Quebec’s official language. For anglophone students looking to start a career in Montreal, Quebec’s bilingualism laws restrict employment options, and recent graduates often end up leaving the city to seek other opportunities. Researchers have dubbed this phenomenon the  ‘brain drain,’ and have studied how the exodus of post-graduate degree holders has caused the city to miss out on the valuable skills of English-speaking students. The disconnect between English universities and the French workforce not only hinders the city’s prosperity, but also disadvantages anglophone graduates who want to continue calling Montreal home.

In 2018, Montreal experienced a net population decrease of over 20,000—the city’s largest in a decade. Despite having over 170,000 students at 11 universities, only 32 per cent of Montrealers aged 25 to 64 hold a bachelor’s degree or higher qualification, one of the lowest ratios of all major North American cities. Last May, McGill partnered with the Quebec government to study the anglophone exodus with the aim of finding a sustainable solution. This partnership is a step in the right direction, and it is vital that the city continue to commit itself to a thorough strategy for rectifying the brain drain epidemic.

The linguistic divide between the city’s English universities and its predominantly French labour market can be partly blamed for Montreal’s lack of degree-holding residents. Every year, English universities like McGill and Concordia recruit nationwide and worldwide. Once in Montreal, these students quickly learn that thriving in and around the downtown bubble requires little more than a four-word French vocabulary—je ne comprend pas. This realization, paired with their busy university schedules, means that many students do not have to invest in learning French. Even with an awareness of the French-speaking requirements in Montreal’s job market, students may still rationalize that it makes less sense to learn French when they could work in their mother tongue and save the money and time investments it takes to pick up a new language.

In Quebec, companies seek French-speaking employees to meet the government’s legally-enforced bilingualism standards. Civil service work and jobs at federal institutions both require employees to have French communication skills. Moreover, professionals who speak English and French enjoy significantly larger incomes earn up to 60 per cent more than their unilingual counterparts. No matter how much students may love Montreal, sticking around may not be worth limiting oneself to mostly entry-level jobs.  Most graduates crave the fulfilment of excelling in their field of work, and if Montreal does not offer anglophones occupations in their field they will go elsewhere.

Preserving the primacy of the French language underlies Quebec’s dedication to maintaining its heritage; reflexively suggesting the end of Bill 101 is not a workable solution to the brain drain issue. At the same time, the Quebec government is setting the province up for a massive disadvantage by not prioritizing the retention of anglophone students.

One solution to brain drain could be investing in strategies to make French more accessible for busy English-speaking students. Currently, the Quebec government offers a variety of subsidized French courses for recent immigrants. Promoting this kind of opportunity more heavily in the university setting and offering more part-time courses would send the message that the government wants to welcome and assist English-speakers in becoming bilingual. McGill could also incorporate French into freshman requirements or offer more seats in French courses. Investing in free French courses for all students and more French scholarships for anglophones are also valuable ways that the Quebec government could retain degree-holders. In partnership with the Quebec government, employers could contribute to improving this issue by welcoming anglophone staff and offering avenues and incentives for improving French skills over time.

Hockey, Martlets, Sports

Martlet hockey 2018-19 recap

by Miya Keilin on

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On March 17, the McGill Martlets (14-6) fell short in the U Sports National Championship game, losing 1-0 to the Guelph Gryphons (19-3-3) to place second in the nation. With a successful, silver-medal season now in the books, The McGill Tribune provides a season in review, looking back at the Martlets’ successful year.

The U Sports championship tournament began for the Martlets on March 15, when they defeated the St. Thomas Tommies (22-5-1) in a 10-2 quarterfinal rout. On the following day, a late goal from second-year forward Stephanie Desjardins sent McGill to the championship game with a win over the number-one ranked Alberta Pandas (23-5). Unfortunately, the Martlets’ efforts came up just short in the final game of the season, and an early second period goal carried the Gryphons to a 1-0 victory and the national title.

In addition to a silver medal, the Martlets received a number of other awards at the national championship tournament; with five points and four assists, third-year centre Jade Downie-Landry was named the tournament MVP and earned a spot on the championship all-tournament team along with first-year centre Valerie Audet. Additionally, four of the tournament’s top five scorers were Martlets, and third-year goaltender Tricia Deguire posted the second best save percentage of all goalies.  

En route to the championship tournament, McGill put together a 14-6 regular season campaign to finish third in the RSEQ standings behind the Université de Montréal (UdeM) Carabins (15-4-1) and Concordia Stingers (13-4-2). In the first round of the RSEQ playoffs, McGill faced Concordia in a best-of-three series. The Martlets took a 6-2 road win in the first game and completed an incredible comeback on home ice to secure the series victory. The opening match of the championship series against UdeM went to double overtime, but, unfortunately, the Carabins came out victorious by a score of 3-2. UdeM won by the same score the next day to complete the sweep and claim the conference title. However, because the Martlets were fifth in the U Sports rankings, they still advanced to the championship tournament in Charlottetown, PEI for the chance to compete against the best hockey teams in Canada.

Martlet Head Coach Peter Smith praised the team’s dedication and passion throughout the season.

“Honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of our group,” Smith said after the championship match. “Over the years, I’ve been privileged to have so many good teams with great character, and this team ranks right up there with the best of them. [It is] a special group that worked hard all season. Not many people outside of our dressing room would have thought that we were going to get this far. We battled from start to finish. There was no quit on this team.”

Beyond their postseason performances, four Martlet players were recognized for their standout play throughout the regular season, with both conference and national awards. Downie-Landry, who had 45 points and a team-high 32 assists, and Deguire made the RSEQ first team all-league and second team all-Canadian. Second-year forward Kellyane Lecours and fourth-year defenceman Emilia Cotter were named to the second team all-league. Additionally, Cotter won the RSEQ Leadership Award for her community engagement with organizations such as the Shoebox Project and The McGill Students for Best Buddies as well as for her coordination of McGill Athletics initiatives like the Bell Let’s Talk Game.

In addition to the award winners, several other Martlets had strong campaigns: Third-year forward Lea Dumais led McGill in goals with 21 in 37 games; second-year centre Marika Labrecque finished with eight goals and 17 assists; and fourth-year defenceman Kate Devries, who had 12 assists, was a crucial defensive presence all season long.

Captain and fifth-year defenceman Alison Mackenzie is the only Martlet player graduating this year. The team will miss her defensive talent and leadership, but, if this season’s results are any indication of what is to come, the Martlets should have another successful year ahead of them.

Out on the Town, Student Life

Bursting out of the McGill bubble

by Sophia White on

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Montreal is a bustling city with some of the best food, music, shops, and art in North America. Many students spend most of their time in the areas surrounding McGill and the Plateau, which offer no shortage of places to see and things to do, but there are so many other destinations beyond these frequented neighbourhoods. Inspired by the New York Times’ ‘36 Hours’ series, here are a few of The McGill Tribune’s suggested activities for students in need of a staycation and those looking to make the most of their time in Montreal before the semester ends.

EAT

Brunch at Café Parvis

Situated in the heart of downtown Montreal, Café Parvis is a hidden gem with a rustic, cozy ambiance and an abundance of indoor plants. The café serves coffee, pastries, pizzas, salads, and other tasty brunch options and is conveniently located near some of the most popular shopping destinations in the city, featuring easy metro access to other neighbourhoods such as Old Port and the Gay Village.

Lunch at Chez José Café

Stop for a midday bite to eat and try a taste of local culture at this quirky Portuguese café located on Avenue Duluth in the Plateau. Chez José serves pastries, crêpes, sandwiches, and coffee at affordable prices, but remember that the restaurant accepts cash only. It is also vegan and vegetarian friendly, so there are plenty of options for everyone.

Fine dining at Perles et Paddock

Located between Griffintown and Little Burgundy, this modern French restaurant specializes in craft cocktails and creative dishes, including a variety of small plates for sharing. The space has a minimalist, fresh ambiance. The surrounding Griffintown is a hip, creative neighbourhood bordered by the Lachine Canal, which is perfect for post-meal exploration.

SEE

The Phi Centre

Most art enthusiasts visit the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts or the Musée d’art contemporain (MAC), but a lesser-known venue is the Phi Centre. Located in Old Montreal, the Phi Centre is an arts and culture venue dedicated to showcasing work addressing timely socio-political issues, and it hosts a range of performances, film screenings, and interactive exhibitions. A virtual reality exhibition entitled The Horrifically Real Virtuality is currently open to the public. The display is a unique, immersive experience that combines virtual reality, cinema, and audience participation.

Montreal Botanical Garden

Enjoy summer weather early by touring the Montreal Botanical Garden, an oasis buried in the city. The garden is recognized as one of the best botanical gardens in the world and showcases plants from every corner of the planet. Located in the Rosemont–La Petite-Patrie neighbourhood near station Pie-IX, it is easily accessible by metro. The garden has a range of thematic greenhouses and gardens, and, as a bonus, it’s situated near the towering Olympic Stadium.

Orange Julep

This giant, orange-shaped fast-food restaurant is located in the Côte-des-Neiges area and is within walking distance of the Namur metro station. The Gibeau Orange Julep is known for its greasy eats and its famous orange cream drink, making it the quintessential roadside destination.


DO

Tour the Quartier des Spectacles

There is always something new to see in the Quartier des Spectacles, whether it’s a festival, a performance, or an interactive outdoor art installation. The Montreal Digital Spring, which encompasses various shows and immersive art pieces inspired by the digital age, and the International Festival of Films on Art, which showcases a rich variety of films on art from around the world, are two current exhibitions on view. Known as the arts and entertainment district, the must-see Quartier des Spectacles is conveniently located in the eastern section of downtown Montreal.

Attend a dance party at the Satosphère

The Satosphère dome is the main attraction at the Société des arts technologiques (SAT), a futuristic venue located near Chinatown. The SAT hosts regular gatherings open to the public under the dome. During the events, they showcase spectacular, 360-degree creative experiences with projected graphics. Some of the events are designed to be more relaxed while, at others, a live DJ is present, and dancing is encouraged.

Montreal, News

Airbnb rentals in the Plateau spark ownership debates

by Delphine Polidori on

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With its alternative cafés, restaurants, and thrift stores, the Plateau neighbourhood might appear to be a flourishing area for anyone who grew up outside of Montreal. However, in reality, the online short-term renting platform Airbnb has caused long-standing residents to be evicted, housing market prices to rise, and small businesses to close. As a result, two housing committees of the Plateau-Mont Royal and Ville Marie areas are calling for a ban on the platform in Montreal.

The platform has enabled an increasing number of buildings to be turned into makeshift hotels with year-round listings. According to the Urban Politics and Governance (UPGo) research group at McGill, 69 per cent of the listings in the Plateau alone are entire homes rather than private rooms.

In Dec. 2015, the Quebec government passed Bill 67 to regulate tourist accommodations across Quebec and ensure adherence to Quebec tax laws. Later, on July 21, 2017, Revenu Québec and Airbnb came to an agreement that Airbnb subletters would pay Revenu Québec a housing tax of 3.5 per cent per night rented. Last year, Bill 150 was passed on June 12, 2018 to regulate companies trying to make a profit off of Airbnb.

“[Under Bill 150], Revenu Québec is [now] responsible [for] the new inspection program in the sector of tourist accommodation in order to oversee the compliance with tax laws and regulations by operators,” Revenu Québec Public Relations spokesperson Geneviève Laurier wrote in an email to //The McGill Tribune//. “Following these changes, Revenu Québec has deployed a team of 25 people to carry out information and awareness programs across the Quebec province.”

To make it easier to distinguish long-term, commercial listings from short-term rentals, UPGo, which is working with the Plateau-Mont Royal Housing Committee to find solutions, has called for Airbnb to make its data on users and rentals available to the Quebec government. Airbnb continues to be reluctant to cooperate.

On Mar. 16, the committee held an Airbnb forum at which residents of the Plateau-Mont Royal area could express their dissatisfaction with the online platform. Odile Lanctôt, vice-president of the committee’s administrative council, shared the committee’s latest study on the impact of Airbnb in Quebec.

“It is the idea of privatizing the urban space, encouraged by Airbnb, which jeopardizes the community life of central neighborhoods,” Lanctôt said. “It leads to the homogenization of these areas […] and to the commodification through tourism of cultural, social life […], [limiting] the access of the lower-income neighborhoods to […] urban life.”

Robert, a tenant who requested anonymity, described the disruptive experience of having neighbours replaced by rentable apartments to the rest of the forum.

“I have lived in the same apartment in the Plateau for around 20 years now,” Robert said. “Since this new company has bought the building […], each time a tenant moves out, the next day the landlord takes over the unit, installs a keypad […] and completely renovates the unit. […] So, out of the eight apartments [in my building], we are currently only two tenants […], the rest being Airbnb.”

Robert misses the sense of community he used to share with his neighbours.  

“I have lost a lot of quality of life,” Robert said. “I don’t know how long I am going to be able to live here for because, eventually, all [my landlord] wants is for me to leave [….] But, I love my apartment, I love where I live.”

Vicky Langevin, a community organizer of the committee, recognizes that banning Airbnb may impact tenants who welcome the platform’s practical nature, such as students. Ultimately, though, she believes that a ban is justified as a means to prevent larger companies from acquiring and renting out apartment space.

“We understand that [this ban] can have a negative impact on some individuals, but, unfortunately […], the majority [of Airbnb rentals are from companies],” Langevin said. “We are not at all against people renting out their unit while they are away […], but, through Airbnb, [the situation] has [gotten] out of control.”

Campus Spotlight, Student Life

Toward a more just judicial system

by Alaana Kumar on

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The first Mental Health and Law Conference will take place on March 30 at McGill to facilitate discussion and bring awareness to the links between two prominent fields of study: Law and psychology. The Thomson House event will host researchers from around Montreal who will facilitate a conversation on how lawmakers can reform Canada’s judicial system to better accommodate offenders suffering from mental illness.  

Lawyers often work for clients who suffer from mental health issues including schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and addiction. Despite their illnesses, the Canadian judicial system often places these individuals in correctional facilities, rather than mental health institutions, and further compromise their mental health. Nina Fainman-Adelman, co-chair of the Mental Health and Law Conference, has found that those in both law and psychology are often frustrated by the lack of cooperation between the two fields.

“When some lawyers work with clients who have mental health issues, sometimes they are not properly trained to deal with those types of situations,” Fainman-Adelman said. “On the other hand, a lot of psychologists are called into courtrooms to testify, but they don’t understand how the legal system works.”

Access to a trained psychologist would help lawyers understand the reasons behind their clients’ crimes. Research suggests that those living with certain mental health conditions are more likely to engage in violent and criminal behaviour. In United States prisons, nearly half of the inmates who died by suicide suffered from serious mental illnesses and were refused necessary care and support.

In Canada, many mentally-ill inmates are held in high security prisons, including solitary confinement. Studies show that sentences are generally longer for mentally-ill inmates than for non-mentally-ill ones; the former often find it difficult to comply with facility rules. The conference’s organizers hope to shed light on the mistreatment of the most vulnerable individuals. Researchers have found that more minority-identifying individuals are placed into prison systems instead of mental health facilities, further illustrating a need for psychologists to take on a more active role in the judicial system.

The link between the two disciplines has gone largely ignored in popular discourse, and, in turn, the conference hopes to underscore how society can more accurately portray the experiences of mentally-ill defendants.

Media reporting is often a direct cause of public misconceptions surrounding the intersection of mental health and law. Nowadays, media coverage of high-profile trials often presents these issues as black-and-white cases, leaving little room for nuanced debate.

Currently, in Canada, the recent development of mental health courts, which adapt to accommodate the psychological health of the defendant, has received an abundance of media coverage debating the pros and cons of this alternative judicial process. Fainman-Adelman described the destructive potential of one-sided media coverage, as the public does not receive the necessary information to create a nuanced, informed opinion. According to the organizer, the media coverage would benefit from acknowledging the overlap of the two issues and educating society in the process.

“Our goal in this conference is to present a range of opinions and perspectives,” Fainman-Adelman said. “We hope to try and get people to think about these topics more critically and recognize that it is always a grey area.”

Those studying the relationship between the two fields hope that the legal community can use its resources to assist individuals who otherwise would not have been diagnosed. For some inmates, courts offer their first access to mental health resources and should be a means to receive support.

The Mental Health and Law Conference will reinforce the interconnection of the two fields and emphasize the need for support through their keynote speakers, panel discussions, and volunteers from McGill’s Peer Support Centre. Arianne Kent, co-chair for the event, hopes that these resources will lead individuals to continue to explore this topic and create networks between the two fields of study on and off campus.

“There is so much to unpack, and we hope the conference encourages and inspires people to explore it further,” Kent said.

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