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Laughing Matters, Opinion

Study on naked mole rats makes SHOCKING discovery (18+)

A recent study published in Nature dived into the behavioural patterns of the naked mole rat. The 18-year study was led by Salamander Zizek, a professor in the Department of Biology at McLung University.

As with all of Zizek’s work, the paper generated a fair amount of excitement in the scientific community. Much of Zizek’s associated infamy comes from a previous failed project, where he tested the vocal range of the lyre bird by teaching them a variety of Western music hits, ranging from religious canticles to 2000s pop classics such as “Baby One More Time.” The birds remain in conservatorship for their own personal safety to this day.

Despite the controversy, Zizek was able to fund his work by piggybacking on previous findings which found that mole rats are resistant to many varieties of cancer. The funding was bestowed both by McGill and a selection of private donors including world-renowned immunologist, Dr. Bro Jogan.

Zizek sat down for an interview with The McGill Tribune alongside his pet mole rat Stuart. As the interview progressed, Stuart began periodically nibbling on Zizek’s ear lobe while emitting soft squeals of delight. I began by asking him to describe the evolution of his project.

“Overall, it was simply fascinating observing the behaviour of the naked mole rat,”  Zizek said. “Of course as any project does, we ran into some initial snags that delayed the project, but I was lucky enough to have a wonderful team which I worked with to solve the underlying issues [….] After some promising initial findings, we were able to get our party—I mean, project—back on track.”

After realizing that his team was struggling to handle the naked mole rats due to their sheer ugliness, Zizek implemented a mandatory minimum blood alcohol concentration of 0.03 per cent for researchers. The team, having overcome this one small hurdle, quickly scrambled to resolve the other issues clouding the project.

A flurry of discoveries followed, including that naked mole rats are much more at home in an environment containing Dolby surround-sound speakers and a full-size pool table.

Although the reception of the paper was predominantly positive, there were many fair criticisms levied against Zizek’s work. They felt that the paper was but a collection of pseudoscientific jargon that failed to contain any meaningful information. I must confess that I, too, was unable to pinpoint exactly what the study was about, although I chalked it up to my own lack of knowledge in the field. This confirmed my suspicion that Zizek was indeed an international man of mystery.

Within Zizek’s own team there also appears to be a small subset of dissidents. An anonymous graduate student, who wished to withhold her name out of severe mortification, told me about their experience working in the mole rat lab.

“When I first began working on the project, I was excited to do important scientific work,” the anonymous informant said. “When I first arrived, I started setting up my Excel spreadsheets, which is my favourite part of my job. Every time I copy and paste information into a spreadsheet I feel like I made the world a slightly better place.”

Their experience has disillusioned them from scientific work and academia at large.

“Another researcher saw my spreadsheets and quickly turned off my computer, explaining to me that my laptop was vibing poorly with his electromagnetic sensitivity syndrome,” they said. “I really think that the project has potential, but part of me worries that our work will be like 90 per cent of everything else that’s published—entirely useless and unlikely to be replicated.”

The situation is not entirely bleak for Zizek and his team. Only time will tell whether Zizek has added yet more meaningless gibberish to the overcrowded sphere we call knowledge, or if he has made a genuine important scientific discovery. Only time will tell.

Joke, Student Life

Cuffing season is over: Best places on campus to break up with your significant other

Whether it’s the green spaces, reading rooms, restaurants, or historical architecture, there’s no shortage of places on campus to fall in love. However, when deciding where to break up with someone, things get a bit muddier. To help out with these nerve-wracking decisions, The McGill Tribune has identified the best spots at McGill to end things with your partner. 

Birks Basement

The stained glass Birks chapel and study room are among the most romantic places on campus, great for asking out your crush. The basement, on the other hand, is a decrepit network of weird hallways, mysterious rooms, and unsettling bathrooms: The perfect place to end it with your not-so-perfect other half. 

Bonus points if you both had to take your shoes off at the entrance. 

The Leacock hallway before an exam in 132 

What’s better than a quiet, one-on-one setting when you want to end things? How about a packed corridor with 600 nervous and erratic first year students. If things go poorly, you can always slowly disappear into the crowd and eat the guilt away with a box of Krispy Kreme frequently sold by tabling peers. 

Bonus points if the exam in 132 is the dumpee’s. 

In line at the hot-dog stand 

Between school, work, and hobbies, it’s always ideal to maximize your time. For years, the hot-dog cart has been your go-to place for a quick bite. Now, it just became your go-to breakup spot. The momentum of the line, the smell of the grill, and the trash-digging squirrels—what could be less endearing? At the end of it all, regardless of how the breakup goes, you can reward yourself with a hot-dog. 

Bonus points for ending it as they’re taking your order. 

During a lecture

If you share a class with your soon-to-be ex, the possibilities are endless for initiating the tragedy: At the start of class, during the powerpoint, or right at the final moments when students are asking questions—it all depends on what feels right to you. The Tribune recommends the moment when you sense the professor is about to go off on some tangent—that way you won’t have to miss any valuable material. If your ex starts hammering you about the breakup, just whisper, “Shh, I really need to pay attention.”

Bonus points if you snag the middle seats in the second row.

Quiet section of McLennan 

If you’re the type of student who rarely leaves the library during finals season, then there’s no reason to break that streak for a break up. If you want to do it right, start off by looking through the shelves for the biggest book you can find (atlases are good), then invite your partner to the library for a study date. Right as it looks like they’re getting into a good working grind, shoot them a quick message asking to break up (it’s the no-talking section), and then open the book to hide your face if need be. It’s efficient for both of you and courteous to the other library patrons. 

No bonus points on this one, I think it does enough damage. 

Lightning Round

Option 1: Post it on the MyCourses Discussion Board of a class you share.

Option 2: Urge the Provost to mention it at the bottom of the next email blast.

Option 3: Submit it to a vote in an SSMU referendum.

Option 4: Go the meta route. Show them this article and ask which they would prefer. 

an image of various astrological signs
Student Life

The April fools horoscope

With the exam season—and possibly a sixth wave——and possibly a sixth wave—on the horizon, //The McGill Tribune// plots out what the stars have in store for us for us. 

Capricorn: Watch your step when you finally get up from that study spot!! You wouldn’t want to trip and fall in front of everyone at the library. Your pride won’t recover from that, it’s low enough as is.

Gemini: We know you have a great discount code for Uber Eats—and yes, Boustan does sound great tonight—but maybe focus on the $150 worth of groceries that’re molding away in the back of your fridge. 

Virgo: Don’t be afraid to //not// go to Cafe Campus this weekend. Diversity is the key to getting a classic Montreal nightlife experience, and we’re certain you’ll have more fun by doing literally anything else. 

Aquarius: We sense you’ll need to store up some good karma for exam season. We sense you’ll need to store up some good karma for exam season. Next time you go see the hotdog guy, try to pay for the person behind you in an act of spontaneous kindness. Out of all you see on TikTok, whether it’s rock climbing, baking, or calligraphy, this is something you could actually pull off. Your wallet will not appreciate it, but you might make a friend. 

Scorpio: Mischief is calling your name. Next time you Mischief is calling your name. Next time you go to Birks and take your shoes off at the entrance, try leaving with someone else’s shoes. It will be a fun experiment that others will definitely appreciate.

Leo: We know you’re out of luck with love—again. We know you’re out of luck with love—again. As a funny opener for your next Tinder match, ask them to deposit $10,000 into your bank account. Chances are that they’ve heard about the Tinder Swindler and will laugh at your joke—if not, at least you’ll make some cash. 

Aries: You got 95 per cent on the midterm for some geography elective you took this semester and your confidence is immeasurable. The stars are saying that your confidence is unearned—try drawing the map of Mongolia from memory, then let us know if you still think your geography skills are superior.

Taurus: April is the month to step outside the box and be adventurous. Unfortunately for you, that means taking a Bixi to get to your finals. The commute will not be relaxing, and it might just drain all your energy, but at least the physical strain will distract you from thoughts of the impending doom of failing your exam. 

Libra: Your quest to find the perfect work-life //balance// has been fruitless at best. Seek a work-life //imbalance// instead by trying the reverse-Pomodoro: Five minutes of work, followed by 25 minutes of well-deserved scrolling. 

Cancer: It’s time to get crafty and reconnect with your artistic side. Next time you go to a house party, impress everyone by bringing home-brewed alcohol. It’s even more impressive of a power move if you bring the leftovers to class the next day. 

Sagittarius: You’re hungover after a weekend of drinking Cancer’s booze—understandable. Treat yourself to an Uber up to Stewart Bio for your 8:30 a.m. lecture. You can’t skip class; your prof will be heartbroken if they don’t see you in the crowd of 300! 

Pisces: Master of the aquatics, we think you should try going to the McGill pool every morning this week. But don’t do a butterfly stroke. Everyone in your lane will hate you if you do a butterfly stroke.  

Laughing Matters, Opinion

The McGill Tribune’s declassified McGill tour guide

Tis’ the season for university campus tours, when dozens of wide-eyed McGill hopefuls explore our beautiful campus, filled with promise for a future at this wondrous institution. Though optimism is great, realism is better. Here’s what your average preppy tour guide and his polyester fanny pack won’t tell you. You’re lucky you’ve got me, I’m not like other tour guides.

To your right entering from Roddick gates is Burnside Hall, the single greatest building at McGill. Burnside can’t decide if it’s a prison compound or an underfunded high school, so you’re sure to get the best of both worlds. And don’t worry too much about the sudden thump noises in the elevators––once you’ve attended your Calc tutorial in the basement, you’ll realize falling down the shaft isn’t much worse. 

On your scenic walk up towards the Arts Building, avoid eye contact with the squirrels and mentally prepare yourself to abandon the glossy image the brochures sold you. Here it is! Note the marble floors, high ceilings, and students camped out in tents occupying the lobby––ah, the charms of a colonial landmark. 

Continue to your left toward the McLennan-Redpath library complex, a dynamic study spot for all your diverse student needs. If you’re looking to watch YouTube at full volume with your friends, morph your spinal cord while trying to plug in your computer, or get absolutely nothing done, Cybertheque is the place to be. If you enjoy loud silence—the kind that pressures you into holding in a cough to the point of a self-induced aneurysm—McLennan’s upper floors will never disappoint. And of course, if you’re fascinated by the “duality” of entirely unspecific things, Emma will be attending her Zoom conference straight dab in the middle of the McLennan stairwell every Wednesday, without fail. Watch your step!

Continue right and you’ll find McTavish, where the Desautels Chad who mansplained the stock exchange to you last Friday is probably taking his Linkedin headshot. Off McTavish you’ll spot the Islamic Studies building, where white people love to congregate for the dark academia aesthetic despite not knowing Persians from Arabs, or the Palestinian from the Sudanese flag. This building is also where McGill takes most of its promotional human rights shots, in the Octagon Room. 

For the classic lecture hall experience, you’ll find Leacock and Adams auditoriums on opposite ends of campus. Nay-sayers will urge you to watch the recording and spare yourself from cramming into a room of hundreds of overheated and likely hungover students. Perhaps you could’ve done without the leg cramps and half-hour of incessant questions from the first-years at the front. But isn’t that what university is all about?

High up Rue University, you will see beloved Trottier to your left. Don’t be fooled by its relatively modern design and good maintenance, for Trottier will find creative ways to elevate your blood pressure. For one, if you manage to squirm into the desk-attached chairs without breaking both your legs, prepare to cease all breathing and movement for the next hour unless you want to curse your class with screeching metal hinges. The last thing you need is a dirty look from the Electrical and Computer Engineering major next to you running 854 programs on his soon-to-explode MacBook Air. 

Finally, a moment of silent admiration for all those that made it to Stewart Bio or McMed for their 8:30 a.m. in the winter. It doesn’t matter that you got a 34 per cent on that midterm, crossing the Peel and Doctor Penfield intersection without sliding to your doom is a true accomplishment worthy of the utmost respect.  

Hopefully, this campus tour has cured any doubts you may have had about McGill from recent news stories denting our ironclad reputation. It really is an excellent option, and McGill is beyond excited to welcome your tuition, and you, of course! Best of luck with your applications.

Student Life

Dear students, from Cloudberry

Cloudberry the squirrel has asked The McGill Tribune to publish the following letter on her behalf. 

Hey McGillians, 

Cloudberry here. I’ve asked the Tribune to share this message on my behalf as I don’t have social media. 

The Tribune has shown me all of the fan accounts on social media and the endless Reddit posts with pictures of me attached, titled “Spotted Cloudberry” and “she’s so hot.” I am so flattered by all the love that you all have shown me and would want to thank you. However, I’ve come to a certain age where I don’t have the patience to put up with crazy fans and stalkers who follow me around 24/7—don’t you guys have class? 

I know as the designated “McGill squirrel” I have an obligation to be present on campus and to show myself to the people to raise school spirits, but I’m TIRED OF THE FAME AND OF THE ATTENTION. I want to be able to walk around unnoticed like my other squirrel friends and not have a group of students gather around me, pulling out their phones to take who knows how many pictures from unflattering angles? I already have to deal with the heightened threat of predators because of my white fur. I don’t want to add crazy fans to my list of worries—I’ve already had to hire body doubles to evade the paparazzi. 

I loved the winter because it gave me a break from all of the spotlight. There weren’t as many students on campus and because of the snow, I could easily blend in the environment. But, summer is around the corner and I am already dreading it. More people go out and pass through campus, and I can’t go anywhere without drawing attention. Put yourself in my shoes—or, paws: Imagine every time you went out everyone would stop to look at you and take pictures of you WITHOUT ASKING. It’s exhausting. I miss the time when I could just go out without worrying about being followed. Before moving to Milton-Parc, I grew up in Mont-Royal, surrounded by nature and peace. 

I don’t think most of you realize that being famous isn’t easy. Do you know how much time I spend getting ready in the morning to make sure that my pearly coat is perfect? Definitely more time than I should be. Once I’m on campus I have to be careful with what I do to make sure something embarrassing, like peeing behind a tree, doesn’t end up getting posted on social media and getting me in trouble with my community. 

Also, all this fame has made my other squirrel friends jealous. I mean I get why you guys adore me, I am pretty cute, but maybe you should show them some love for a change. I’m tired of dealing with their complaints and of being constantly left out of their nutty games. 

All I’m asking is for all of you to give me a bit of space—summer is around the corner and I don’t want to have to deal with all of you. Next time you spot me on campus, perhaps don’t take a picture of me. Just treat me like any other squirrel! 

I hope you all understand. 

Sincerely, 

Cloudberry 

Commentary, Opinion

Open Letter from Jewish students on the Palestinian Solidarity Policy

To the McGill Community, Deputy Provost Fabrice Labeau, and the McGill Administration,

As a group of Jewish students within the McGill community, we are writing to reaffirm our support for the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) Palestine Solidarity Policy in the wake of Deputy Provost Fabrice Labeau’s response to its approval. 

On March 24, Labeau threatened to terminate the university’s Memorandum of Agreement with SSMU in objection to the Palestine Solidarity Policy passed less than 24 hours prior. The policy passed with an overwhelming majority of 71 per cent support during the SSMU’s Winter 2022 referendum, along with several other new fees. It marks a historic win for Palestinian students and their allies at McGill. For two decades, Palestinian students at McGill have worked tirelessly to educate their peers about the complicity of this institution in settler-colonial apartheid. Time and time again, their activism has been met with censorship, doxxing, and repression from an openly hostile administration.

In his letter, Deputy Provost Labeau claims that the policy causes “division” within our campus community and violates the university’s principles of inclusion, diversity, and respect. This assertion is blatantly false. The policy is a project of solidarity and community, promoting the well-being of Palestinian students on campus and defending of Palestinian human rights abroad. We see the defense of human rights—and effectively the defense of this motion––as an enactment of our Jewish values. 

We, as Jewish McGillians, do not feel “unwelcome or rejected” because of actions like the Palestine Solidarity Policy. We believe that this policy is a necessary, important step in the fight against McGill’s complicity in the violence of colonialism, racism, imperialism, militarism, and capitalism—from Turtle Island to Palestine.

We emphasize that this policy was passed democratically and with a supermajority. This win is a demonstration of the popular power of students that has been built over time and will not be deterred by threats to democratic decision-making. To deny the legitimacy of the motion is to deny the will of the student body. We challenge the Deputy Provost’s portrayal of deep divisions among the campus community over initiatives for human rights. The most significant division on campus that we see—as has also been emphasized by the last three weeks of #OccupyMcGill actions—is the long standing divide between the actions of the administration and the voice of the student body.

We are concerned that Deputy Provost Labeau brought up the upcoming initiative to prevent antisemitism and Islamophobia as a way of discrediting this democratic motion. Conflating criticism of the settler-colonial state of Israel with antisemitism is both incorrect and a dangerous distraction from real instances of antisemitism.

Some Jewish organizations on McGill campus and beyond have condemned the policy, but these organizations do not represent all of the Jews in the McGill community, and do not have the right to speak for all of us. There is a significant diversity of perspectives within the Jewish community, as within any community. For many years, there has been a strong Jewish presence at McGill in solidarity with Palestinian human rights. 

So, to Jewish students on campus, we want to remind you that your Jewishness and solidarity with Palestinian human rights are not mutually exclusive. Rather, these two truths can, and should, be complementary. And to Palestinian students, please know that we are with you now as firmly than ever. We will always continue to fight for the future we believe in: One with justice, freedom, and dignity for all, which includes a free Palestine as well as the democratization of this campus.

If you are a Jewish student at McGill and would like to anonymously sign in support of this open letter, please use this form: https://forms.gle/nWbVnCKsFfrg5kMg6 

Sincerely, 

Jewish Members of the McGill Community in Support of the Palestine Solidarity Policy

Editorial, Opinion

The Palestine Solidarity Policy must stand

On March 21, in a historic win for student activists, the Palestine Solidarity Policy, put together by Solidarity for Palestinian Human Rights McGill (SPHR), passed at the Winter 2022 Referendum with a 71.1 per cent approval. This win came after Elections SSMU initially removed it from the ballot based on a last-minute Judicial Board (J-Board) interim order—it was later reinstated following public backlash. Only three days after the policy’s approval, Deputy Provost (Student Life and Learning) Fabrice Labeau sent out a statement to the entire McGill community denouncing the policy and deeming it incompatible with McGill’s alleged values of inclusion, diversity, and respect. . Above all else, the email represents an attempt to suppress student activism at the expense of Palestinian students, dismissing activism and anti-Zionism as antisemitism. Moreover, threatening the Memorandum of Agreement (MoA) between the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU) and the administration sets a dangerous precedent whereby McGill disregards democratic proceedings and grossly oversteps their bounds. SSMU must reject these attempts unequivocally. If they back down, it will permanently stain the future of student activism at McGill. 

Labeau’s statement uses inflammatory buzzwords and harmful misrepresentations of anti-Zionism in an attempt to intimidate those in support of the Palestine Solidarity Policy—and in doing so, it imposes the beliefs of administrators, the Board of Governors, and donors onto students. By branding the policy as contradictory to values of diversity and inclusion, while touting accusations of antisemitism without any real explanation, Labeau’s statement appears to be nothing more than a fear-mongering technique to silence those in opposition to Palestinian liberation and the profit McGill makes from investing in apartheid.

Rather than diffusing the situation, the administration’s move effectively exacerbates existing on-campus tension by threatening to jeopardize SSMU if they implement the democratically approved policy. The policy makes no mention of religion, yet by referencing antisemitism and Islamophobia, Labeau unnecessarily pits Jewish and Muslim students against each other. Jewish students at McGill who support the policy have even spoken out against the monolithic view that all Jewish people are Zionists. 

Palestinian students face constant targeted, structural racism at McGill, but never receive any institutional support. The administration’s latest interference upholds the institutionalized oppression of Palestinians at the expense of  student safety. If anything, Labeau’s statement reminds students exactly why the Palestine Solidarity Policy is necessary. 

In calling the policy unconstitutional, Labeau is presumably referencing the 2016 J-Board ruling that bars SSMU from adopting an official position on geopolitical issues that do not directly affect students or events on campus. This ruling was specifically made to limit SSMU’s possible support for the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions movement. However, this ruling does not prohibit vocal support of Palestinian liberation. McGill must reassess not only their stance, but also their hypocrisy in voicing support for Ukraine while constantly shaming those looking to do the same for Palestine. 

Fundamentally, as a union whose mandate is to represent the interest of students, SSMU requires a certain degree of autonomy, especially when student and administration interests are at odds. By dangling the termination of the MoA over the heads of executives, McGill is, once again, choosing profits over students and forgoing democratic practices. This complete disregard for SSMU’s democratic system sets an extremely dangerous precedent for the future.

Student activism has a strong legacy at McGill. McGill divested from South African apartheid in 1985 after sustained student pressure, proving the popular power of students. At the root of the struggle for the Palestine Solidarity Policy are Palestinian students who, faced with constant politicization, are put in positions where they have to prove themselves worthy of basic protection and support. The fight for McGill to so much as recognize the Palestinian struggle has been a long one, and it is imperative that Palestinian students not carry this burden alone. 


Instead, all students must be active in their support, attending SPHR’s rallies and events and using the group’s email template to express frustration and solidarity. Those who wish to remain silent should weigh the costs of losing student democracy—especially for the sake of upholding a settler-colonial, apartheid state. SSMU president Darshan Daryanani has publicly stated that the policy’s implementation will continue as planned. To the 2022-2023 executive team: SSMU must stand their ground and remember that the students who passed this policy are those who elected them.

Basketball, Sports

Redbirds basketball seals their undefeated streak with RSEQ championship win

An unprecedented 460 people attended the RSEQ semi-finals which saw the top-ranked Redbirds (13-0) face off against the Citadins (4-9) on March 23. After a thrilling game, McGill emerged undefeated once again with a score of 77-71. With the highest attendance record of the season until the finals, both teams had hundreds of supporters in the stands eagerly cheering them on.

Before the start of the game, the Redbirds and coach Ryan Thorne received their RSEQ conference awards. Haris Elezovic was named the conference’s Rookie of the Year and received recognition as a second team all star along with captain Sam Jenkins. Jamal Mayali was named Player of the Year by the conference and Ryan Thorne received Coach of the Year in his third year of coaching.

The first quarter saw strong defence from both sides, but the Redbirds were already starting to come out on top, solidly ahead by seven points at only the three-minute mark. Mayali continued the scoring with a beautiful three-pointer, a layup, and two free throws made with ease, earning roars from the crowd. But UQAM remained strong and, unfortunately, the quarter ended off with the opposition edging out a 20-18 lead.

The second quarter was as uncertain as the first, with Citadins and Redbirds alike not letting each other gain a significant advantage. Though the first to score, UQAM was quickly matched by a jumper from Elezovic. Quarry Whyne closed a three-point gap with a free throw and a layup, but the Citadins swiftly retaliated, scoring four additional points.

With just over seven minutes remaining in the second quarter, Sam Jenkins scored a swift three, narrowing the deficit to 27-26 for UQAM. Although the Citadins scored again, Jenkins scored another three-pointer to equalize the score, making the crowd go absolutely bonkers. The rest of the second quarter was marked by successful free throws, as Mayali made four clean shots, and Whyne two. McGill came out on top with five points over their opponents.

The first few minutes of the third quarter proved tougher for the Redbirds. Mayali quickly scored with a jumper, but UQAM was right on their tails. The Citadins managed to tally 12 points while the Redbirds struggled to match them. However, with less than six minutes left, the Redbirds changed their pace and pushed the score back up, thanks to a series of layups and threes from Jenkins, Whyne, and Mayali. The score was 54-50 for the home boys going into the final frame.

Jenkins gave the Redbirds their first points of the last quarter with a layup and another three-pointer. The Redbirds were relentless with quick passes and excellent defence. Sydney Gauthier and Mayali both scored with amazing three-pointers; the fourth quarter was once again marked by free throws as the team sank four. The Redbirds finished the fourth quarter with a 77-71 win.

Mayali explained to the Tribune that the victory came as no surprise.

“It went as expected,” he said. “We knew they were going to come out aggressively and want to push the pace. We were ready for that and knew how to respond when we felt the force of UQAM. I expected us to come out victorious. […] I only see us being champions.”

This 13th consecutive win was a reflection of the team’s incredible performance this year, as well as coach Ryan Thorne’s leadership. It was also a good omen for Saturday’s RSEQ final against the Concordia Stingers, which saw the Redbirds clinch the championship, 48-46.

“We know basketball is a game of runs and that was especially evident last night against UQAM,” Jenkins said in an interview with the Tribune. “But, all throughout the game we kept reminding each other if we play this game at our pace, nobody is going to beat us. In the end, we found our pace, and the game turned out in our favour.”

Quotable: “The team throughout the year has performed very well. We have managed to grind out some very tough and close games. As a team, we have responded very well in those tight moments and it has shown us and everyone that we don’t run away when the pressure intensifies.” —Jamal Mayali, fifth-year guard

Moment of the Game: During the second quarter, Sam Jenkins scored back-to-back three-pointers sending the crowd into frenzy.

Stat Corner: Mayali tallied 21 points and Jenkins 20, meaning the pair scored over half of the game’s 77 points.

Features

Opening the curtains for the Montreal theatre scene

ACT I

//Enter Canadian Theatre.// 

In 1949, Vincent Massey led the Massey Commission in an investigation of Canadian cultural and intellectual production. After its completion, the commission declared the country guilty of ignoring home-grown artistry in favour of foreign cultural products. While the American monopoly over publishing was a part of the problem, the commission ultimately placed the bulk of the blame on the Canadian public for failing to champion a national artistic identity. As the commissioners wrote: “Canada is not deficient in theatrical talent, whether in writing for the stage, in producing or in acting; but this talent at present finds little encouragement and no outlet.”

Early Canadian theatre owed itself mostly to Europe. Typically, theatres would produce classic plays written in the Old Country, rather than screenplays by local talent. In response to countless productions of Shakespeare and Molière, scholars, critics, and playgoers involved in the commission raised the question: What constitutes an authentically Canadian theatre? With a country-wide creative landscape buzzing with untapped potential, the custodians of Canadian theatre were hopeful that the commission’s promise of federal support would solve the nation’s dependence on imported scripts. 

It’s hard to delve into the roots of early Canadian theatre without coming across its explicitly nationalist and colonialist themes. Erin Hurley, a professor of drama and theatre in McGill’s English department, explained in an interview with //The McGill Tribune// that Canadian theatre originated as a mouthpiece for the settler-colonial state. 

“The first theatrical production that theatre historians point to is //Le Théâtre de Neptune en la  Nouvelle-France//,” Hurley said. “It features Indigenous peoples in it, and it is about conforming to the wishes of the French king, basically saying, ‘Welcome colonialism!’ So, this is the sort of groundwork for theatre in what we now call Canada.” 

After the recommendations of the Massey Commission were implemented, Canadian theatre expanded its support beyond the interests of the state. It became a creative outlet for marginalized groups, who experimented with the form’s social and political potential. Quebec, for example, is home to a rich theatrical history that supported the formation of the women’s experimental collective, as well as Yiddish and Black theatre companies. But while many artists and theatregoers now recognize the oppression of marginalized groups, the theatre continues to grapple with productions like Robert LePage’s //SLAV//, a play that was taken off the stage in 2019 for its offensive portrayal of enslaved Black people. Quebec’s reliance on American and European productions may now be a thing of the past, but the province continues to struggle with the remnants of its settler-colonial past in its mission to accurately represent and highlight marginalized communities. 

ACT II

//Enter Institutionalization.// 

As the years progressed, Montreal became the ideal backdrop for some of the most iconic moments in Canadian theatre. 

The opening of the Theatre Royal, which many consider Montreal’s first theatre, marked the beginning of a new era for cultural production. While plays were performed in Montreal long before this landmark opening, typically they were limited to temporary structures such as warehouses, converted stores, and circus venues. The Theatre Royal was the first permanent building dedicated to the theatrical mission, serving as a manifestation of the city’s increasing desire to platform entertainment on the stage. Staging over 111 full-length productions, the building was home to productions of Shakespeare, the Restoration authors, and Tit Coq, one of Montreal’s first major local plays.

In response to suggestions by the Massey Commission, an Act of Parliament established the Canada Council for the Arts in 1957 to manage the endowment of grants and services for theatre professionals, among other professionals and organizations dedicated to the arts, on a national level. The rising institutional support for the performing arts spurred the development of infrastructure to support Canadian theatre.   

“The big story of the development of Canadian theatre starts with provincial and federal arts funding, [which] allow for the building and sustaining of theatrical institutions,” Hurley explained. “The joke in a lot of Canadian theatre studies is that Canada was really good at building theatre, like the building, and somewhat less good at building //the// theatre. There was a big emphasis on the buildings, and those buildings go on to spawn the regional theatre system.”

At the same time, government officials, clergymen, and popular dissenters often policed the content of theatrical productions. These cases of censorship were often influenced by societal prejudice. Whether it was a production that hired Belgian actors to bypass a temporary ban on French performers or a feminist play that upset the patriarchal attitudes of audiences, theatre that expressed its support for marginalized groups did not have protection to fight for artistic freedom.  

Over time, this censorship was contested during a period of collective creation by actors, directors, and performers, who established unions to regulate the working conditions of theatre professionals and prevent censorship by external bodies. The development of nationwide training programs, too, played a part in legitimizing Canadian theatre as a professional practice. 

“Union formations, like the Union des Artistes, preceded [the creation of] Canadian Actors Equity to allow for training and working structures that implemented a collective creation phase in the 1970s,” Hurley said. “The institutionalization of funding bodies […] also allows for the proliferation of training programs such that actors, directors, playwrights, designers, and technicians have the training to participate in these professional level funded shows. That’s a big moment in terms of building a Canadian theatre.”

//Exit Institutionalization.// 

ACT III 

//Enter COVID-19 and Digital Theatre.// 

In the last two years, the arts have been ravaged by COVID-19. As digital theatre transformed from a distant possibility into the industry standard, however, this temporary foray into the online world proved that the stage is more than capable of adapting to the occasion. Nonetheless, the consequences were immense as the average theatregoer’s interest in watching productions online could scarcely compete with the desire for in-person theatre. 

Overnight, recreational spaces in Montreal closed due to the pandemic. Theatrical institutions in the city scrambled to find methods to save money while remaining productive. Many actors, artists, and employees in the cultural sector reported feelings of hopelessness, which led to an increased risk of mental illness as they grappled with unemployment and financial loss. Coupled with the logistical constraints of staging shows without an audience at full capacity, these factors put an undeniable strain on local theatre. As the Massey Commission predicted decades ago, government grants and initiatives were among the most important sources of monetary support keeping the theatre scene alive. 

“When COVID hit, major French language theatres [in Montreal] shifted relatively quickly to using their grant money to support in-house artists,” Hurley explained. “Instead of having rehearsals, they would have a workshop period.” 

During the two-year break from live performances, many artists developed original work. This creative period has led to a surplus of productions, since the backlog of plays awaiting to be showcased increased exponentially during the pandemic. In this saturated theatrical landscape, emerging creators may find it even more difficult to produce their first play.

The lack of a live audience led many major theatre companies to experiment with digital theatre. 

And, although the industry became well-acquainted with digital theatre during the pandemic, it returned to the loving embrace of live performances as soon as restrictions were lifted. The lessons of digitized theatre may go on to inform future innovations in the field that incorporate customizable digital environments and spotlight playwrights, performers, and other theatre artists who skillfully experimented with the stage during its online era. 

//Exit COVID-19 and Digital Theatre.// 

ACT IV

//Enter Student Theatre.//

Theatre is a fundamentally organic and democratic art form––educational institutions across the world can attest to the medium’s ability to spark change. On campus, the student theatre community attracts a variety of individuals looking to get involved in, around, or behind the stage. The opportunities are endless. 

Supporting student-written plays since 1921, Players’ Theatre stages a variety of English-language shows that are organized entirely by students, while the McGill Savoy Society produces plays by popular authors. In general, McGill fosters a rich theatrical culture—it is home to Tuesday Night Cafe, Franc-Jeu, McGill Improv, and a Drama and Theatre program in the English department. 

With the return of in-person performances, theatre is once again thriving on campus. Maya Earn, U1 Science, recently stage-managed the play //Everyone is Annoying//, produced by the Players’ Theatre. She finds theatre to be a creative relief from the analytical focus of her degree. 

“There’s nothing like live theatre,” Earn said. “It’s a much different experience than watching something on film or watching TV. There’s a lot of work that goes into it and I find that it’s a very important part of the arts community that I think sometimes gets pushed under the rug a little. For students, it’s such a good extracurricular […] to get out of your comfort zone and be a part of something other than your work.” 

Even during the two-year period when productions shifted entirely online, student theatre at McGill continued in the digital sphere. Daniel Benjamin Miller, BA ‘21 and a producer at The McGill Savoy Society, admitted that the lack of a live audience was a learning experience for the club. 

“I can attest to the impact of //Pinafore//,” Miller wrote in an email to the //Tribune//. “[As a] fully remote show, it was a new form for all of us, both in the cast and in the audience. Theatre, as a form, is about feeding off the audience […] which is rather hard without having one in the same room. But it’s also about choreography—and I don’t just mean dancing and blocking. It’s about nailing the exact pacing—this is the heart of the performance. Working on an online substitute for theatre taught me a lot about the process of performing.”

These theatre clubs don’t just teach students the basics of on-stage performance and stage management. They are also centres of community building that support emerging playwrights in sharing narratives that may not be endorsed by mainstream theatre houses. 

“I stage-managed a short play by an Indigenous writer last semester for Players’ Theatre, and it was honestly a really great experience,” Earn said. “I’ve made friends through [student theatre], and it has allowed me to have a creative outlet that I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to have during the last few years. It’s student-run at every step of the way, and I’m really enjoying that.” 

Despite the hospitality of student theatre at McGill, getting involved can feel like a daunting step. Miller emphasized that it can be as simple as watching a performance on stage. 

“The performers need you; there’s a symbiotic relationship between those on stage and those in the seats,” Miller wrote. “Becoming an active audience member can lead to joining a cast or orchestra, too [….] There are great opportunities in all of these fields, and student theatre programs are designed to make those opportunities available to you.”

//Exit Student Theatre.// 

ACT V

//Enter Epilogue.//

Despite the monopoly of streaming services in the cultural landscape, live theatre remains an irreplicable experience for performers and audiences alike. For all of its advantages, the advent of digital theatre proved that the experience of watching a performance can only be simulated to an extent. 

“No remote performance can compare with in-person theatre. It is not and cannot be the same,” Miller wrote. “Having the performers together, rather than apart, is the only way to create a natural performance. It will always be more polished, more interactive, and more spirited. For opera and musical theatre particularly, the impact is even more pronounced, as you really need to be together to create music like that—ask anyone who’s tried to do it remotely.”

Miller is right: theatre inspires something that films and books can’t. Theatre is a living thing. Every production is open to the performer’s interpretation, and even the most well-known narratives can be radically reinterpreted. Performers and directors alike have reimagined //The Taming of the Shrew// to allow Katherine’s character to transcend the misogynistic limits of her historical context and regain her autonomy as a survivor of spousal abuse. In some productions, Katherine is submissive; other times, she is subversive. Elizabeth Taylor’s Katherine winks at the audience to inform them of her subtle impudence in the movie adaption from 1967, while Garrick’s 18th-century version depicts an obedient Katherine who bends to her husband’s will. It is clear, in this case, that a difference in interpretation can change the course of a woman’s life. 

Why does theatre still matter? James Baldwin summarized it best: “You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important. Art would not be important if life were not important, and life is important.”

//Exit Canadian Theatre, Epilogue.//

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